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Saturday, December 15, 2007

The Search for the Holy Foreskin!

As another example of just how NUTS mainstream religion really is, get a load of this!

To believers of Jesus' Resurrection, (Not erection!) the only conceivable part of Jesus left on Earth would be his foreskin since it was cut off before he was crucified..... naturally!

(Hey, that makes perfect sense to me.... and by the way, when they referred to it, they called it the "Rumple-foreskin"!!!)


(This is a statue of Jesus recalling his circumcision!)-->

Legend holds that the Emperor Charlemagne received the "object" from an Angel, then gave it to Pope Leo 111 in the year 800.

(I personally believe that Charlemagne got it from the Angel "Harold," .... you know, from the song "Hark the Harold Angel Sings!")

As a matter of fact, my little droogies, this idea was so prominent that in the Middle Ages there were as many as 18 Holy Foreskins in various Monasteries and towns spread out across and around Europe.

In light of these revelations a certain David Farley has written a book about it that will be out in 2009.

In the book the one TRUE Foreskin went missing in 1983 when it was stolen by "sacrilegious thieves" and has not been seen since. Nary a whiff!

Some say the priest sold it to a relic dealer in Turin. Others claim it was stolen by a local group of Satanists for use in their occult rites and still others blame Neo-Nazi's.

Whatever the case, Farley shares his thoughts on the Foreskin's significance! He said; "It is Holy Relic of a past time and only survived as long as it did due to Calcata's remote location and who knows if it will ever pop-up again!"

Your "Holy Shit" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This may be the funniest religious story I've ever heard! Though the fact that it's true also makes it a little sad . . .

I wonder, is Christianity alone in its foreskin fixation? Or are there, at this moment, Jews searching for the foreskin of Moses?

Wednesday, December 19, 2007 5:42:00 p.m.  

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