Jumbo the Dumbo

Conservationists in Gauhati, India on Tuesday hailed socialite Paris Hilton, who has been convicted of driving under the influence of alcohol, for apparently trying to highlight the cause of binge-drinking animals in northeastern India.

After a week of partying with the elephants, monkeys, giraffe's and other sundry wildlife, Paris started to realized that they had a serious binge drinking problem and needed help.

Ms Hilton was heard to say; "They remind me of myself when I was drinking a lot, minus the smell of course, hee, hee!"

Activists said a celebrity endorsement was sure to raise awareness of the plight of the pachyderms and their buddies that get drunk on farmers' homemade rice beer and rotting fruit then go on a rampage.

"The animals get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making these fermenting fruits available to them," she said in a report posted on the World Entertainment News Network website.

Her comments were also picked up by other web sites and newspapers around the globe.

A spokesperson for Jumbo the Elephant said he was not availabe for comment due to an extreme hangover.

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com