Saturday, May 31, 2008

Saturday Morning Confusion #2

If ya ain't confused yet bunky, then this'll do it!

-Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

-Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

-Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

-Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

-Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

-Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

-Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

-Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

-Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

-Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

-Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? A phenomena known as carpetuation!

-Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end on your first try?

-How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

-When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot?'

-Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

-In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

-How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......

-The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com

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