Saturday Morning Confusion #2
If ya ain't confused yet bunky, then this'll do it!
-Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
-Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
-Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
-Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
-Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
-Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
-Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
-Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
-Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
-Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
-Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? A phenomena known as carpetuation!
-Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end on your first try?
-How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
-When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot?'
-Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
-In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
-How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVORITE......
-The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
-Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
-Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
-Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
-Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
-Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
-Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
-Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
-Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
-Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
-Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
-Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? A phenomena known as carpetuation!
-Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end on your first try?
-How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
-When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot?'
-Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
-In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
-How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVORITE......
-The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Labels: cat humor, satire, saturday morning confusion
posted by Allan W Janssen | 8:02 a.m.
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