Why I Dislike Cats

The Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com

Another reason I don't like cats!

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com

The Reason I Hate Cats!

The reason I love dogs! -->

Cat Lovers.

I got overnight mail from a woman who wrote to complain about my series on "how to bug a cat," in which she stated that I was advocating "animal abuse."

I would like to take this opportunity to respond to her concerns.

Dear Ms. Anonymous, I have never suggested we torture or abuse cats in any way. You will notice that most of the pictures are of cats getting a bath or some other activity they don't like.

If you glance around the pages of this blog you will notice words such as "satire" and "humor" and that is the way they were intended.

Besides, over on the left side it also says we are an equal opportunity shit- disturber who will eventually piss of everyone and I just wanted to make sure you weren't left out.

As a peace offering here is a picture of a cute little kitty!

The reason these are so funny is because cats are a finicky group that are easy to offend. They always remind me of a little twelve year old girl that is just, oh so prime and proper. In other words a little snob or "precocious little" ..... well, you get the idea!"

Just to set the record straight Ms. Anonymous, I don't condone mistreating cats or any other animal and I certainly don't dislike cats. At best I am indifferent and prefer to ignore them.

So, to sum up, I don't dislike cats at all ..........It's cat lovers that bug me!

Kindest regards,
Your humble scribe;
Allan W Janssen

(P.S. If I don't see you before then, Merry Christmas!)

Even more and better ways to bug a cat!

Please!!!!
Goodbye cruel world!
Hangin' around on a Saturday night!
I ain't no fuckin' poodle!!!
The Green Hornet.
Yea, right!
Cat-sickle!
ZAP!
I ain't no fuckin' Chihuahua!
Ha Ha!
Yea..... Ha Ha!
And finally, this little word to the wise!















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Ways In Which Cats Can Bug YOU!

More ways to bug a cat!

This is the way felines get even for; "Ways to bug a cat!"
Your "ways be a bug" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

Some things you can do to bug a cat!

If this doesn't bug any cat enough I'm sure you could think of something better, just send it in!

(Doesn't look very happy, does he?)

Meowww

The latest example of twelfth century thinking, irresponsibility and just plain ignorance was of an Australian Muslim Cleric Taj El Din, [Australia's most senior] who suggested that female victims of sexual assault have themselves to blame if they dress in ways that Muslims consider immodest.

His EXACT words were:

"If you take out uncovered meat and place it outside....and the cats come and eat it..whose fault is it, the cats’ or the uncovered meat?" he asked about 500 worshippers.

"If she had of been in her room, or had been out with her husband and had on her hijab (veil), no problem would have occurred," he added!

So according to him, a rapist is not to blame for his decisions and choices. He is not accountable and therefore bares no responsibility to his actions. Rather the victim, the individual that was mentaly and physically scared is at fault because she was not following Muslim dress code in Australia.

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) at; www.God-101.com
And the petition to have people mind their own business instead of yours at; http://www.petitiononline.com/moses/petition.html