My buddy!

I have not paid too much attention to my bulk, (spam) mail but today I happened to look at a few of the letters I got and they are hilarious!

The one that really caught my eye was a headline that said; >"Want a new dick?"

After thinking about this for a short while I decided that I was more than happy with my present dick and felt no need to exchange it for something else!

Let's face it, "Winston" and I have been through a lot in the last ** years and I have developed a certain "affinity" for him that is not easy to dismiss!

We have been in a lot of tight situations and dangerous liaisons and back door dealings over the course of our relationship and he has "stood" by me through thick and thin.

I realize that "Winston" has led me astray on numerous occasions and put me in situations that on hindsight I would rather have avoided but on the whole, (!) he has been a good friend and faithfull companion on those cold and lonely nights so I feel I must continue to support him as we go through life.

Thank God "Winston" has not caused me any other grief such as unwanted progeny or some sort of disease that makes your nose fall off, so I think it has been a fairly beneficial relationship for both of us and will continue to be so!

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

Asshole of the week! #72

Asshole of the week trophy and a loud fart go to Andy Dick when David Stroupe said he had one of the worst experiences with a performer in the history of the Funny Bone Comedy Club when Dick appeared there. (I remember seeing Andy Dick on a Celebrity Roast a few months ago and thinking what an asshole he was.)

Stroupe, the club's managing partner, said the 41-year-old actor-comedian made inappropriate comments while on stage, groped patrons, took women into the men's room and urinated on the floor and on at least one person.

A limousine driver was to meet Dick early Monday morning at a hotel near the club, Stroupe said, but he couldn't be found and missed that morning's flight to Los Angeles.

Dick was across town, where he was issued a citation for urinating on the sidewalk by Columbus policeman John Fantin.

Police eventually escorted Dick back to the hotel, Stroupe said.

Dick's manager, Max Burgos, did not immediately respond Friday to phone and e-mail messages by The Associated Press seeking comment.

Dick is scheduled to appear Thursday in Franklin County Municipal Court, but instead could pay a $126 fine and court costs for the misdemeanor offense, a court employee said.

What a Dick!

Your "hush, hush and on the Q.T." scribe;
Allan W Janssen