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- EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM! -

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Stand Up For Jesus, Damn It!

In an attempt to clarify a statement he made over the weekend, Jesus issued a news release today in which he said " Oh, excuse me, but I thought you said erection, not Resurrection.

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) www.God-101.com

Posted by Allan W Janssen 1 comment:

tags belief in god, erection, god, jesus, resurrection

Thursday, October 12, 2006

This is not a fake!

This photo has not been retouched, it's the world's smallest horse!

The only problem is that it has a normal sized penis and every time the horse gets an erection it passes out from lack of blood!!!!!!!!!!1

Posted by Allan W Janssen No comments:

tags erection, miniature horse, penis, world's smallest

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Senility Prayer

"God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference!"

"I only look after the big picture son!" Said God! "Life's a crapshoot and you take your chances like everybody else!"
--George Burns as God.

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My Political Profile:

Overall: 30% Conservative, 70% Liberal

Social Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

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** It was the Greek philosopher Protagoras who said. "Man is the measure of all things. While we live in a valueless universe, each person, being an integral part of God, has the ability to create values.”

**"Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution.” --Kahlil Gibran

** The religion that is afraid of science - dishonors God and commits suicide. Emerson

** "The whole of life, from the moment you are born to the moment you die, is a process of learning."-Jiddu Krishnamurti (1895-1986)

** "The more you complain the longer God lets you live."--Anonymous

** Sacred cows make the best hamburger. -- Mark Twain

** "I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.” --Lao-Tzu

** A Hinduism and Zen truism: “A person is like a drop of water separated from the sea. To fall as rain, it considers itself distinct from the world soul. Then, through hill and dale, its destiny is to return to the sea!

** “Consciousness is the physical manifestation of God within us!” Allan W Janssen

** "God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." --Voltaire (1694-1778)

** In the West, we live in a material world and hope to have a spiritual experience - In the East they live in a spiritual world that is having a material experience. Allan W Janssen

** God inspired the bible, he didn't write it. People base their lives around the manic scribbling of a bunch of desert baked primitives who ate bugs and honey! Of course they saw God! -Anonymous

** If faith were the result of logical reasoning, we could expect that most intelligent people would by now be converted to one ideology or the other! –A.W.J.

** Many theologians think of Christianity as two different religions, one conservative and one liberal. They share the bible and the name, but not much more. Much the same can be said for the followers of Islam! Allan W Janssen

** ”Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.” -Blaise Paschal