Correction!!

It is with extreme regret that I must confess we made a drastic mistake here on "Perspective" on Friday December 28th.

Despite the many safeguards in place to prevent things like this from happening, it was only a few days after Christmas and the first day back at work for most of the "Perspective" staff so I can't be too harsh with them.

The article in question was about my telling kids to be cautious on the Internet and I wrote about how that nice kid on the web could actually be someone like my next door neighbour Charlie, so they should be careful!

(Actually, in spite of his looks, he is sort of a nice "kid," just a bit weird at times!)

Anyway, I wrote the article and then instructed the copy department to add the picture of Charlie and then do the usual composition and production, but due to a labelling problem they put in the wrong picture!!!!

<-- This picture (which they put in by mistake) is actually a photo of Santa that was sent to us on the 26th of December by Mrs. Clause. (This was Santa's first day in Hawaii for his post-Christmas break and as you can see from his bare chest he wasn't used to the heat yet!)

I and all the staff here at "Perspective" sincerely apologize to Santa for any mistakes that were made and we of course in no way meant to suggest that HE was weird.

(Although I assume Santa has enough of a sense of humour to see it that way as well!)

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

The Poop on Santa!

STOCKHOLM - Christmas is hectic for all, but particularly for Santa, who must live in Kyrgyzstan and make his rounds at lightning speed if he is to deliver gifts to all the world's children on time, a Swedish consultancy has concluded.

Between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, Santa Claus's route around the planet includes stops at 2.5 billion homes, assuming that children of all religions receive a present from the jolly man in the red suit, Anders Larsson of the engineering consultancy Sweco told AFP. (Yes, even the little kids of China get a visit!)

"We estimated that there are 48 people per square kilometer (120 per square mile) on Earth, and 20 metres (66 feet) between each home. So if Santa leaves from Kyrgyzstan and travels against the Earth's rotation he has 48 hours to deliver all the presents," he said.

Father Christmas has long been believed to reside at the North Pole, although a number of northern towns, including Finnish Rovaniemi, claim to be his true home.

But Sweco's report on Santa's most efficient route -- which takes into account factors like geographic density and the fewest detours -- shows that he wouldn't be able to make his round-the-world trip from there in time.

"He has 34 microseconds at each stop to slide down the chimney, drop off the presents, nibble on his cookies and milk and hop back on his sleigh," Larsson said.

Santa's reindeer must travel at a speed of 5,800 kilometers (3,604 miles) per second to make the trip on time.

Another report circulating on the Internet suggested however that Santa's sleigh, weighed down with presents and travelling at supersonic speed, would encounter such massive air resistance that the entire contraption would burst into flames and be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second.

This, of course, is utter nonesense since we all know that Santa employs magic and if he travels at those speeds he wouldn't let a little thing like "air resistance" slow him down!

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

Ho, Ho, .......Ha!

Ladies and gentlemen, I really thought I had heard it all, but as usual I was just deluding myself. As a matter of fact, I will use the old phrase; "You ain't heard nothin yet!"

Santas in Australia's largest city have been told not to use Father Christmas's traditional "ho ho ho" greeting because it may be offensive to women, it was reported Thursday.

Sydney's Santa Clauses have instead been instructed to say "ha ha ha" instead, the Daily Telegraph reported.

One disgruntled Santa told the newspaper a recruitment firm warned him not to use "ho ho ho" because it could frighten children and was too close to "ho", a US slang term for prostitute.

"Gimme a break," said Julie Gale, who runs the campaign against sexualising children called Kids Free 2B Kids.

"We are talking about little kids who do not understand that "ho, ho, ho" has any other connotation and nor should they," she told the Telegraph."Leave Santa alone."

If you think the whole world is going to hell in a handbasket you might not be too far off!

Your "bah, humbug" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com