Saturday Morning Confusion #249

Do everyday things get you confused? Do you often ponder what it's all about? Does day to day living give you a headache? Has your wife had her period so long it's turned into a semi-colon? Are you losing the hair on your head and getting it in your nose and on your ass instead? Is that what's bothering you.......Bunky?

Well, this blog explains it all!

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For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads.

Most of us have naively thought this was connected with religion, or marriage, or something, but the Indian Embassy in Washington, DC has recently revealed the true story...

When a Hindu woman marries, she brings a dowry into the union.

On her wedding night, the new husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop, or a motel in the United States..

If there is nothing under the dot, he must take a job in India answering telephones and giving technical advice that no one can understand.

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Unfortunately Barak Obama gets to be our "loser of the day" for all the weird, nasty and just plain strange things Rev. Wright has been saying to the media this past week!

It's amazing what some people will do and say just to keep the spotlight on themselves once they get a taste of it!

That he is derailing Obama in his bid for the Presidency doesn't seem to matter as much as staying in the public eye, so the Reverend gets our "Asshole of the week" award!

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More stuff to bug and confuse us!

1. When I was born, I got a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I can't remember what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Q: What's an Australian kiss? A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.......

15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life? A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.

16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ? A: Breasts don't have eyes.

17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives !!!

And dat's the name of that tune!

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com