Three Men in a Theological Tub!

O.K. kids, gather round. This is going to be like a Chinese dinner, you pick just one from either column A. - B. - or C. and that's what we judge you on!

Winner gets a nice prize and the losers are beaten with a wet noodle.

Now, it's not the Butcher the Baker or the Candlestick maker.

It's an Atheist, an Agnostic Kid and a full blown, educated, Creationist Asshole.

(Well, to be educated and still hold the views that he does, he can't be normal! Right?)

A.
Guest Contributor: Penn Jillette
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Country: United States of America


Allan, there Is no God. Period.

I believe that there is no God. I'm beyond atheism. Atheism is not believing in God. Not believing in God is easy -- you can't prove a negative, so there's no work to do. You can't prove that there isn't an elephant inside the trunk of my car. You sure? How about now? Maybe he was just hiding before. Check again. Did I mention that my personal heartfelt definition of the word ''elephant'' includes mystery, order, goodness, love and a spare tire?

So, anyone with a love for truth outside of herself has to start with no belief in God and then look for evidence of God. She needs to search for some objective evidence of a supernatural power. All the people I write e-mails to often are still stuck at this searching stage. The atheism part is easy.

But, this ''This I Believe'' thing seems to demand something more personal, some leap of faith that helps one see life's big picture, some rules to live by. So, I'm saying, ''This I believe: I believe there is no God.''

Having taken that step, it informs every moment of my life. I'm not greedy. I have love, blue skies, rainbows and Hallmark cards, and that has to be enough. It has to be enough, but it's everything in the world and everything in the world is plenty for me. It seems just rude to beg the invisible for more. Just the love of my family that raised me and the family I'm raising now is enough that I don't need heaven. I won the huge genetic lottery and I get joy every day.

Believing there's no God means I can't really be forgiven except by kindness and faulty memories. That's good; it makes me want to be more thoughtful. I have to try to treat people right the first time around.

Believing there's no God stops me from being solipsistic. I can read ideas from all different people from all different cultures. Without God, we can agree on reality, and I can keep learning where I'm wrong. We can all keep adjusting, so we can really communicate. I don't travel in circles where people say, ''I have faith, I believe this in my heart and nothing you can say or do can shake my faith.'' That's just a long-winded religious way to say, ''shut up,'' or another two words that the FCC likes less. But all obscenity is less insulting than, ''How I was brought up and my imaginary friend means more to me than anything you can ever say or do.'' So, believing there is no God lets me be proven wrong and that's always fun. It means I'm learning something.

Believing there is no God means the suffering I've seen in my family, and indeed all the suffering in the world, isn't caused by an omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent force that isn't bothered to help or is just testing us, but rather something we all may be able to help others with in the future. No God means the possibility of less suffering in the future.

Believing there is no God gives me more room for belief in family, people, love, truth, beauty, sex, Jell-O and all the other things I can prove and that make this life the best life I will ever have.

Penn Jillette is the taller, louder half of the magic and comedy act Penn and Teller. He is a research fellow at the Cato Institute and has lectured at Oxford and MIT. Penn has co-authored three best-selling books and is executive producer of the documentary film, “The Aristocrats.”

Now I have to say that I respect Penn and Teller and also enjoy watching their T.V. show "Bullshit" but that doesn't mean I agree with him about the atheist part.

As I have said many times before I can't imagine a Universe this wondrous and majestic just appearing out of thin air so I have to go with a "First Cause!"

I must also admit that after that (First Cause) things do get sort of fuzzy!

B.
Dewee!
Pretty smart for a kid, eh!

C.
Walt Brown received a Ph.D. in mechanical engineering from Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) where he was a National Science Foundation Fellow.

He has taught college courses in physics, mathematics, and computer science. Brown is a retired full colonel (Air Force), West Point graduate, and former Army ranger and paratrooper.

Assignments during his 21 years in the military included: Director of Benet Research, Development, and Engineering Laboratories in Albany, New York; tenured associate professor at the U.S. Air Force Academy; and Chief of Science and Technology Studies at the Air War College.

For much of his life, Walt Brown was an evolutionist, but after many years of study, he became convinced of the scientific validity of creation and a global flood.

Since retiring from the military in 1980, Dr. Brown has been the Director of the Center for Scientific Creation and has worked full time in research, writing, and speaking on origins.

He lectures on such diverse topics as how the Great Flood carved out the Grand Canyon, why Evolution is a conspiracy by Darwinists and how Creation Science is the only true explanation for the origin of the universe.

As I said at the top, I cannot in any way shape or form understand how an educated man with a scientific background could be so far out in left field and still appear to be normal.

I don't know about you, but I would have to go with the kid in the middle from the T.V. show "Malcolm in the Middle!"

He makes the most sense to me! But then again, don't just take my word about anything you read here! I'm getting to the point where my mind not only wanders - sometimes it leaves completely!

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 at www.God-101.com

Revelation, or Delusional Again?

Continuing with our "two for one Sunday," a strange thought came to me as I sat in the back of the church with my wife today.

Thinking about the George Carlin piece, (below) I had a thought!

I can't quite decide if it was a revelation, or I am just being delusional again!

First of all, yes I was in St. Georges with my wife and don't consider this hypocritical in the least. If you have read this column at all you know that while I do believe in in some sort of Supreme Being that is responsible for "First Cause," *** I consider the Resurrection a myth and misleading.

(It just doesn't work that way in this Universe. When your dead, your dead. That's a rule and to break it negates the whole thing and the Universe falls apart.)

Anyway, although my wife is a very good Catholic and I am not a Christian by any means, I still take her to Church now, (Especially since she got cancer!) and it makes her feel better.

I guess you could say she's being a good Catholic and I'm being a good husband!

Now we come to the crux of the matter, and this is where I need your help!

Sitting there at the back of the Church, a thought occurred to me.

The revelation (?) I had was this. Maybe God still influences things in the Universe, just not with US, since the advent of "Free Will!"

Perhaps, since our "maturing" into "free will," we are expected to be more like adults now and make our own decisions. (Or at least teenagers, which is really scary.)

When we were in the Garden of Eden (operating by instinct instead of reason) we were under God's care. Now, with a taste of the "Apple" (Reason) we are like the bird that's kicked out of the nest and told to sink or swim! That would explain the lack of any outside involvement in our affairs.

I only had this thought a few hours ago so don't take a half baked idea as Gospel, ;-) but it does seem to have some interesting possibilities.

If you have any thoughts on it please let me know!!

Your "questioning" scribe;
Allan W Janssen


*** Please do not confuse, in any way, "First Cause" (Big Bang) with Intelligent Design.

I.D. seems to be a watered down form of Creationism to make it more palatable and is trying to slip religion in through the back door. (You have to watch those guys!)

I, on the other hand, am a Darwinist who simply thinks that everything we see is NOT without purpose.

Rather, Something had to set it in motion.

The Big Bang simple can't be put in the same category as "spontaneous human combustion."

It don't work that way!

There is always a cause, and especially with something on the scale of The Bang.

It can't simply have just "happened!"

(That's my story and I'm stickin with it!)

P.S. If you want to see what I have against "Religion," look below and listen to George Carlin put things into perspective!