Sunday Morning Funnies!
If it's "A penny for you thoughts," why does everyone feel the need to put their "two cents worth" in?
The waitress
A man and woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant.
Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.
Still, the woman appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.
The waitress went over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."
The woman calmly looked up at her and said; “No, he didn't. He just walked in the door."
Newfie!
Every country has a group that is the butt of jokes. In Great Britain it’s the Irish, in Germany it’s the Friese, (ME) and in Canada it’s the Newfie’s
Three women - one German, One Japanese, and a Newfie were sitting naked in a Jacuzzi. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The German lady pressed her forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at her questioningly. "That was my pager," she said. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."
A few minutes later, a phone rang. The Japanese woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished, she explained. "That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."
The Newfie woman felt decidedly low tech. Not to be outdone, she decided she had to do something just as impressive. She stepped out of the Jacuzzi and went into the bathroom. She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging out from her behind.
The others raised their eyebrows and just stared at her. The Newfie woman said, "LORD THUNDERIN GEEZE, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT. I'M GETTING A FAX."
Daisy
A few weeks ago (January 16th) we told you about James Crane who worked on the 101st floor of Tower 1 of the World Trade Center. He was blind so he had a golden retriever "seeing eye dog" named Daisy and she was with him on that 11th day of September, 2001!
The story was that Daisy led him to safety and then went back into the building twice and rescued over 900 people. After much research by your diligent scribe we have ascertained that the real story is that Daisy led her master to safety all right, but since he was blind they were so slow over 900 people piled up behind them.
Some idiot in the lobby thought the dog was leading them to safety when in actual fact they were being slowed down by the blind guy.
A common, but understandable mistake!!!!!!
AND NOW! OUR SUNDAY MORNING SERMON!
Your "preacher" scribe;
Allan W Janssen
The waitress
A man and woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant.
Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.
Still, the woman appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.
The waitress went over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."
The woman calmly looked up at her and said; “No, he didn't. He just walked in the door."
Newfie!
Every country has a group that is the butt of jokes. In Great Britain it’s the Irish, in Germany it’s the Friese, (ME) and in Canada it’s the Newfie’s
Three women - one German, One Japanese, and a Newfie were sitting naked in a Jacuzzi. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The German lady pressed her forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at her questioningly. "That was my pager," she said. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."
A few minutes later, a phone rang. The Japanese woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished, she explained. "That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."
The Newfie woman felt decidedly low tech. Not to be outdone, she decided she had to do something just as impressive. She stepped out of the Jacuzzi and went into the bathroom. She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging out from her behind.
The others raised their eyebrows and just stared at her. The Newfie woman said, "LORD THUNDERIN GEEZE, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT. I'M GETTING A FAX."
Daisy
A few weeks ago (January 16th) we told you about James Crane who worked on the 101st floor of Tower 1 of the World Trade Center. He was blind so he had a golden retriever "seeing eye dog" named Daisy and she was with him on that 11th day of September, 2001!
The story was that Daisy led him to safety and then went back into the building twice and rescued over 900 people. After much research by your diligent scribe we have ascertained that the real story is that Daisy led her master to safety all right, but since he was blind they were so slow over 900 people piled up behind them. Some idiot in the lobby thought the dog was leading them to safety when in actual fact they were being slowed down by the blind guy.
A common, but understandable mistake!!!!!!
AND NOW! OUR SUNDAY MORNING SERMON!
Your "preacher" scribe;
Allan W Janssen
Labels: Daisy, george carlin, humor, religion, seeing eye dog, sunday morning funnies, sunday sermon, world trade center
posted by Allan W Janssen | 9:24 a.m.
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