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Middle aged heterosexual, WASP male. Semi retired, semi-sane and semi-serious. And endangered species and I'm not going quietly!!!!

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Saturday Morning Confusion!

Yes friends and neighbors it's time once again to have a look at all the stuff that goes on around us.

Ah, those crazy Aussies.

I have always had a soft spot in my heart for anyone that can stand up and say; "Every once in a while ya just gotta say, What the Fuck!"

A man has gone on a rampage in an army tank in Sydney Australia's West end overnight, destroying six mobile phone towers and an electricity sub-station.

Police Chief Inspector Guy Haberley says officers followed the tank through several suburbs as it left a path of destruction in its wake.

"The vehicle continued to other locations within the Mount Druitt local area command and continued to destroy mobile phone tower communications sheds by crashing through the perimeter fence and colliding with structures, causing significant damage," he said.

Police say the pursuit ended in Dean Park about 90 minutes later when the tank stalled as it was being driven towards another mobile phone tower.

(Not a word on where he got the tank in the first place!)

It’s not just Christians who find Jesus or the Virgin Mary on pieces of toast - a Muslim man from Bradford in England has found the arabic script for Allah, the Muslim God, on a chapatti.

He showed it to his stunned family and since then neighbours and members of the Muslim community have flocked to view it. All agree that the markings on the food appear to spell out the holy name.

Mr Iqbal said: “It was definitely an unusual event. A lot of religious leaders have come to check it and they have confirmed that it is very clearly the name of Allah in Arabic.

“In every other respect it is just a normal chapatti. We left it as it is, but unfortuantely, while no one was looking, the dog got a hold of it and ate it.”

I can well relate to this since I had my own miracle about ten years ago on a cold winters night in January.

As I was sitting in the living room watching television when the window started to frost up and as it did so an image of my next door (dead) neighbor George started to appear.

Amazed, I called my wife and she saw it too!

The next morning we called a guy from the paper to have a look but by the time he got there it had warmed up outside and the frost had melted.

This left us slightly embarassed but certainly fulfilled spiritualy since these are all matters of faith, and I had mine renewed! [sic]

A few elephants packed their trunks and left town.

Garden Bros. Circus is appearing through this weekend in Toronto.

Three Asian elephants, had a compound set up in the parking lot where they were cared for by trainer Billy Morris.

Morris said someone seems to have tripped over the power cord to the fence after he checked on the elephants just before 2:30 a.m. "The next thing I knew, the cops came to get me," he said. "Susie and Bunny had gone on the lam."

Susie wasn't far away, sampling the grass on the edge of the complex. Bunny kept going. A York Region Police dispatcher told patrol cars to be on the lookout for "one outstanding elephant . . . last seen heading north on Crossland Gate."

An officer radioed in that he had the "outstanding elephant" in view. "It's just eating someones tree."


That was Shu Mei's tree and Bunny made an untidy meal out of her lilies, too, scattering leaves around.

"It didn't wake me," she said. "My neighbour heard something, but she thought it was kids."

How do you get an elephant to stop eating and come home to bed?

"You just call their names and they'll follow you," Morris said. "They're good girls. It's probably best that no one was out on the sidewalk, but they wouldn't have hurt anyone. They love people."

Someone passing in a car spotted Susie and called police to say, "We've found an elephant."

"Sorry?" said the dispatcher, perhaps thinking it was one of those little pink ones that some people see. "How big are we talking here?"

Ian Garden, president and ringmaster of the Mississauga-based circus, said he believed this was the first elephant escape in its 70-year history.

"Obviously, you don't want elephants loose in the neighbourhood and we'll be taking steps to make sure this doesn't happen again," he said.

As Garden spoke, Morris was soaping up and hosing down the truants to get them ready for their two performances yesterday. The elephants lifted their feet, laid down and rolled over on command, opening their mouths for a drink from the hose and clearly enjoying being brushed behind their ears.

"My wife Carolina rides one of them in the ring," Garden said. "They're lovely, affectionate animals. And their dung makes very good fertilizer."

Shu Mei wasn't impressed.

"I didn't touch it," she said, ruefully eyeing her chewed-up lilies. "The circus sent someone to pick it up. They gave me tickets for the show. I'll see the elephants there."

Next, do we have..... an elderly man nearing death who wants to give something back to the world, or just a prankster?

The mystery of who is leaving envelopes of 10,000 yen ($82) bills in men's toilets at government offices around Japan has gripped the nation this week despite the existence of far weightier issues, such as a looming election.

Since April 9, some 4 million yen ($32,720) has been found in men's rooms from the northernmost island of Hokkaido to the southern island of Okinawa, Japanese media say.

Virtually all has been found in government office buildings.

The bills are individually wrapped in traditional Japanese "washi" paper with the word "remuneration" handwritten on the outside in ink.

Each comes with a handwritten letter in formal wording evoking Buddhist language, saying the giver hopes the money will be "useful for your pursuit of knowledge."

Newspapers have devoted lengthy articles to speculation about the identity of the unknown benefactor, and the mystery dominated evening news programs Wednesday. One domestic news agency even sent out urgent alerts as the number of bills found mounted.

The only thing everyone agrees on, given where the money is found, is that the person leaving them is a man.

THE LATEST IN FOOTWEAR TO HELP COPE WITH GLOBAL WARMING!
And finally, new studies have shown that people with a lot of MOLES seem to live a lot longer.......... and alone!

Your "confused as hell" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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