SUNDAY MORNING FUNNIES!

How to Tell the Sex of a Fly
A woman finds her husband in the kitchen holding a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting flies" he responded.
"Killed any yet?"
"Yep, 3 males and 2 females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, "How can you tell them apart?"
"3 were on a beer can and 2 were on the phone."

Dr. Allan slept with a patient
Dr Allan had slept with one of his patients and felt really guilty.
No matter how much he tried, the sense of betrayal was overwhelming.
But, every once in a while he'd hear an internal reassuring voice say 'Allan don't worry about it, you aren't the first Doctor to sleep with one of your patients and you won't be the last. And you're single, so just let it go.
But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality whispering...... 'Allan you're a fuckin' vet!'

Driving...
A man and woman were driving down the road arguing about his deplorable unfaithfulness when suddenly the woman reaches over and slices the man's penis off.
Angrily, she tosses it out the car window.
Driving behind the couple is a man and his 9-year-old daughter.
The little girl is just chatting away at her father when all of a sudden the penis hits the pickup on the windshield, sticks for a moment... and then flies off.
Surprised, the daughter asks her father, "Daddy, what the heck was that?"
Not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replies, "It was only a bug, honey."
The daughter sits with a confused look on her face, and after a few minutes she says... "Sure had a big dick, didn't it?

Seen on the back of a biker's vest: If you can read this, my wife fell off.

And finally dear neighbours, I would like to leave you with one of Allan's famous words of wisdom! Don't be sexist - broads hate that!

Your humble scribe;
Allan W Janssen