I am the Very Model of a Modern Unitarian
Sung to "I am the Very Model of a Modern Major General" from "Pirates of Penzance".
I am the very model of a modern Unitarian,
Far broader than a Catholic, Hindu, Jew or Presbyterian.
I know the world's religions and can trace their roots historical
From Moses up to Channing, all in order categorical.
I'm very well acquainted, too, with theories theological,
On existential questions I am always wholly logical,
About most any problem I am teeming with a lot of views,
I'm full of fine ideas that should fill our church's empty pews.
(Chorus members:
We're full of fine ideas that should fill our church's empty pews.
We're full of fine ideas that should fill our church's empty pews.
We're full of fine ideas that should fill our church's empty empty pews.)
I quote from Freud and Jung and all the experts psychological.
I'm anti nuke, I don't pollute I'm chastely ecological.
In short, in matters spiritual, ethical, material,
I am the very model of a modern Unitarian.
(Chorus members:
In short, in matters spiritual, ethical, material,
We are the very model of a modern Unitarian.)
I use the latest language; God is never Father or the Lord,
But Ground of Being, Source of Life or almost any other word.
I never pray, I meditate, I'm leary about worshipping.
I serve on 10 committees none of which accomplish anything.
I give to worthy causes and I drive a gas conserving car,
I have good UU principles (although I'm not sure what they are).
I'm open to opinions of profound or broad variety,
Unless they're too conservative or smack of righteous piety.
(Chorus members:
Unless they're too conservative or smack of righteous piety.
Unless they're too conservative or smack of righteous piety.
Unless they're too conservative or smack of righteous pie-piety.)
I formulate agendas and discuss them with the best of 'em,
But don't ask me to implement, we leave that to the rest of 'em.
In short in matters spiritual, ethical, material,
I am the very model of today's religious liberal.
(Chorus members:
In short, in matters spiritual, ethical, material,
We are the very model of today's religious liberal.)
Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com
I am the very model of a modern Unitarian,Far broader than a Catholic, Hindu, Jew or Presbyterian.
I know the world's religions and can trace their roots historical
From Moses up to Channing, all in order categorical.
I'm very well acquainted, too, with theories theological,
On existential questions I am always wholly logical,
About most any problem I am teeming with a lot of views,
I'm full of fine ideas that should fill our church's empty pews.
(Chorus members:
We're full of fine ideas that should fill our church's empty pews.
We're full of fine ideas that should fill our church's empty pews.
We're full of fine ideas that should fill our church's empty empty pews.)
I quote from Freud and Jung and all the experts psychological.
I'm anti nuke, I don't pollute I'm chastely ecological.
In short, in matters spiritual, ethical, material,
I am the very model of a modern Unitarian.
(Chorus members:
In short, in matters spiritual, ethical, material,
We are the very model of a modern Unitarian.)
I use the latest language; God is never Father or the Lord,
But Ground of Being, Source of Life or almost any other word.
I never pray, I meditate, I'm leary about worshipping.
I serve on 10 committees none of which accomplish anything.
I give to worthy causes and I drive a gas conserving car,
I have good UU principles (although I'm not sure what they are).
I'm open to opinions of profound or broad variety,
Unless they're too conservative or smack of righteous piety.
(Chorus members:
Unless they're too conservative or smack of righteous piety.
Unless they're too conservative or smack of righteous piety.
Unless they're too conservative or smack of righteous pie-piety.)
I formulate agendas and discuss them with the best of 'em,
But don't ask me to implement, we leave that to the rest of 'em.
In short in matters spiritual, ethical, material,
I am the very model of today's religious liberal.
(Chorus members:
In short, in matters spiritual, ethical, material,
We are the very model of today's religious liberal.)
Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com
posted by Allan W Janssen | 12:44 p.m.
3 Comments:
You might find my version of 'I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Unitarian' to quite educational and entertaining too. The "annoted" version may be found on The Emerson Avenger blog.
Herewith my lyrics -
I am the very model of a modern Unitarian,
I'm "liberal", and "Humanist", remarkably contrarian,
I know some things of Channing, but ignore the fights historical,
From Coleridge to Emerson, because I'm hypocritical;
I'm very unacquainted too with matters theological,
I understand our pagans are most flaky and illogical,
As a religious "Humanist" I'm dealing with some nasty news,
With many fearful facts about those "fundie" atheist U*Us.
I'm very good at being corpse-cold, indifferent, and callous,
I know the U*U logo is a form of flaming chalice,
In short, in matters human*itarian and Social*ist Darwinian,
I am the very model of a modern Unitarian.
I don't know our mythic history of corpse-cold Unitarians,
I won't answer to those rumours about Nazi Unit-Aryans,
I quote in U*U blogs the many crimes of Roman Catholics,
While turning a blind eye to those of our own U*U clerics,
I Deny, Ignore and Minimize U*U abusers and barbarians,
I can't hear the croaking chorus from our famous Unitarians,
Then I do my very utmost not to face the music's din again,
And ignore the whistle-blowing of that infernal Emersonian.
Then I can write a blog post in barbaric and insulting form,
And tell U*Us every detail of the Accepted Straight Man Uniform;
In short, in matters Wagnerian, Bavarian, and Totalitarian,
I am the very model of a modern Unitarian.
In fact, when I know what is meant by U*Us are unravelin',
When I can't tell the difference between some U*Us and Joe Stalin,
When affairs of U*U clergy are surprises I don't dare berate,
And when I know precisely what is meant by to "commiserate". . .
When I have learnt what progress has been made in U*U shunnery,
When I know no more of ethics than a U*U in a nunnery:
In short, when I've a splattering of anal U*U funnery,
You'll say a better U*U has never ever sh*t on me.
I know that Robin's knowledge, though quite lucky and adventurous,
Has insultingly been put down by U*U Atheists Acrimonious;
But still in matters contrarian, sectarian, and indeed barbarian,
I am the very model of a modern Unitarian.
Not bad!
Personally I consider it to be something of a masterpiece. ;-)
Speaking of Totalitarians and indeed the very model of modern Unitarians here is my very recent U*U Tube video of the very model of a Montreal Totalitarian Unitarian. . . I hope you enjoy it and feel free to spread it around a bit.
http://www.attorney-law.org/2007/10/01/playing-it-safe-with-an-unsafe-uu-from-montreal/
You might like my minimal reworking of Nancy Sinatra's 'These Boots were Made For Walking' that I was inspired to come up with over the weekend.
Have fun!
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