Saturday Morning Confusion. #147
Life getting you down? Are you confused about the meaning of it all bunky, Well you're not alone.
Now that I'm older (but refuse to grow up) here's what I've discovered....
ONE - I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
TWO - My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
THREE - I finally got my head together now my body is falling apart.
FOUR - Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
FIVE - All reports are in, life is now officially unfair.
SIX - If all is not lost, where is it?
SEVEN - It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
EIGHT - Some days you are the dog, some days you're the hydrant.
NINE - I wish the buck stopped here, I sure could use a few.
TEN - Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
ELEVEN - Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
TWELVE - It's hard to make a come back when you haven't been anywhere.
THIRTEEN - The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
FOURTEEN - If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
FIFTEEN - When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
SIXTEEN - It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.
SEVENTEEN - The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
EIGHTEEN - These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.
NINETEEN - I AM UNABLE TO REMEMBER IF I HAVE POSTED THIS BEFORE OR NOT!!!
TWENTY – Posted what?
If you think I'm bad, here's a triple play of some people a lot more confused than I will ever be!
1. Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.
2. A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head.
3. Mike Stewart, 31, of Dallas was filming a movie in 1983 on the dangers of low-level bridges when the truck he was standing on passed under a low-level bridge -- killing him.
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com
Now that I'm older (but refuse to grow up) here's what I've discovered....
ONE - I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
TWO - My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
THREE - I finally got my head together now my body is falling apart.
FOUR - Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
FIVE - All reports are in, life is now officially unfair.
SIX - If all is not lost, where is it?
SEVEN - It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
EIGHT - Some days you are the dog, some days you're the hydrant.
NINE - I wish the buck stopped here, I sure could use a few.
TEN - Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
ELEVEN - Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
TWELVE - It's hard to make a come back when you haven't been anywhere.
THIRTEEN - The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
FOURTEEN - If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
FIFTEEN - When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
SIXTEEN - It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.
SEVENTEEN - The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
EIGHTEEN - These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.
NINETEEN - I AM UNABLE TO REMEMBER IF I HAVE POSTED THIS BEFORE OR NOT!!!
TWENTY – Posted what?
If you think I'm bad, here's a triple play of some people a lot more confused than I will ever be!
1. Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.
2. A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head.
3. Mike Stewart, 31, of Dallas was filming a movie in 1983 on the dangers of low-level bridges when the truck he was standing on passed under a low-level bridge -- killing him.
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com
Labels: humor, satire, saturday morning confusion
posted by Allan W Janssen | 11:58 a.m.
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