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Middle aged heterosexual, WASP male. Semi retired, semi-sane and semi-serious. And endangered species and I'm not going quietly!!!!

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Sunday Morning Funnies!

20 Types You Meet In The Men's Room -
1. Excitable - Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts.
2. Sociable - Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not.
3. Cross-eyed - Look into next urinal to see how other guy is fixed.
4. Timid - Cannot piss if someone is watching.
5. Indifferent - All urinals being used, pisses in sink.
6. Clever - No hands, fixes tie, looks around and pisses on floor.
7. Worried - Not sure of where he has been, makes quick inspection.
8. Frivolous - Plays stream up and down urinal, tries to hit fly.
9. Absent Minded - Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants.
10. Childish - Pisses directly into bottom, watches it bubble.
11. Sneak - Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent.
12. Patient - Stands very close for a long while, reads free hand.
13. Desperate - Waits in long line, teeth floating, pisses in pants.
14. Tough - Bangs dick on side of urinal to dry it.
15. Efficient - Waits until he has to crap, the does both.
16. Fat - Backs up and takes blind shot at urinal, pisses in shoe.
17. Little - Stands on box, falls in, drowns.
18. Drunk - Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants.
19. Disgruntled - Stands for a while, gives up, walks away.
20. Conceited - Holds two inch dick like baseball bat.


A drunk pelican crashed into the windshield of a car on the Pacific Coast Highway in California this morning. Although the driver was not hurt the bird suffered a broken foot and a gash on it's pouch.

Authorities said the pelican was probably drunk from naturally occurring booze found in algae blooms and wild berries.

The Wetland and Wildlife Care Center in Huntington Beach has received numerous calls in the past week about tipsy birds walking down the highway instead of flying and then falling over and quaking loudly.

Our poor hero, meanwhile is in a veterinarian hospital nursing a broken leg and severe hangover.

If you want to see just how drunk animals can get, check this out!

Your "give em one for the team" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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