The top 100 reasons it's great to be a guy!

The top 100 reasons it's great to be a guy!

-Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
-Movie nudity is virtually always female.
-You know stuff about tanks.
-A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
-Monday Night Football. -->
-You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives.
-Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
-You can open all your own jars.
-Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.
-Dry cleaners and haircutter's don't rob you blind.
-Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
-All your orgasms are real. -->
-A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
-Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.
-You understand why Stripes is funny.
-Your last name stays put.
-You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
-You can go to the bathroom with out a support group.
-Your underwear is $10 for a three pack. -->
-You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
-You can kill your own food.
-The garage is all yours.
-When your criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
-You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
-You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
-Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
-You never have to clean the toilet. -->
-You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
-Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
-Wedding plans take care of themselves.
-The National College Cheerleading Championship
-If someone forgets to invite you to something, they can still be your friend.
-None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
-You don't have to shave below your neck.
-You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite.
-If you're 34 and single nobody notices.
-You can write your name in the snow. -->
-You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest. -->
-Everything on your face stays its original color.
-Chocolate is just another snack.
-You can be president.
-Flowers fix everything.
-You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
-You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
-You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
-You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours. -->
-Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
-You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
-Foreplay is optional. -->
-Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
-You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
-You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
-Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
-You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.
-You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
-Car mechanics tell you the truth.
-You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.-->
-You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours.
-The world is your urinal.
-You get to jump up and slap stuff.
-Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
-One mood, all the time.
-You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
-You never misconstrue statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
-You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
-You never drive to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy.
-You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
-Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
-You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
-Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
-You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.
-You don't mooch off others' desserts.
-If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
-The remote is yours and yours alone. --------------->
-Same work....more pay.
-People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
-You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
-Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.
-You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
-Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.
-You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
-Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
-You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
-If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, it's O.K.
-You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F*#k it!"
-The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
-You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.
-You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny. --->
-New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
-Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
-Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
-Baywatch
-There is always a game on somewhere.
-ESPN's sports center.
-You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.

And just so there is no rioting in the streets from all the ladies yelling for equal time, 100 reasons it's great to be a girl is coming!

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com