The Plain Truth, so help me Howard!

My staff and I have done a lot of research over the past year into myths, conjectures, religious beliefs and hokum! (Hokum is a 1950's term for bullshit!)

Without getting into any long discussion about the results we have come up with, here is the poop on what is real and what isn't.

First the big question.

-Yes, there is a God. (Now what God is, or wants, or does is something that nobody knows. Why? Because it's GOD! So stop trying to tell other people that you and your group have the inside story!)

-No, there are no aliens or UFOs. (Other planets are just plain too far away, period. If you don't believe me then educate yourself and find out.)

-Jesus not only lived, but was a great prophet. As was Muhammad, Moses, Buddha, Confucius and my next door neighbor Charlie.

-Jesus was not crucified to erase our sins. He was killed because he pissed off the wrong people. (By the way, when you're physically dead.............you're DEAD! O.K.?)

-Yes, there certainly is such a thing as coincidence.

-There might be a certain amount of Fate, but you can change it.

-Yes, when you do GOOD it comes back to you, one way or another. Same with BAD. This is called KARMA.

-No, there is no Second Coming, or Rapture. It failed to materialize the last 25,434 times so why should it happen the next.

-Yes, if you act like an asshole people will treat you like shit!

-There was NO conspiracy in the death of Princess Diana, J.F.K., Boby Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Lee Harvey Oswald or Marilyn Munroe.

There was also NO conspiracy in the Moon Landings, 9/11, shooting the Pope or the Shuttle disaster.

-No, there is no "psychic healing," but attitude and belief can and does help in the healing process.

-Yes, there is such a thing as Love. It's the same as God, you can't prove it, but you can feel it and know it's there! (It's also the same as peeing yoourself in a dark pair of pants. No one can see it but it gives you a nice warm feeling anyways!)

-The jury is out on Psychic Stuff. Could be something to it or just result of that coincidence we talked about. (But, I swear my wife can read my mind!)

-Yes there seems to be such a thing as luck, but it is just a concept we have developed, because luck, one the whole, is totally arbitrary. (I other words, if you win the lottery, that's lucky. But someone else could just have easily been the lucky one! See?)

-There are no Ghosts, Spirits or Demons. All are the result of superstition and overactive imaginations.

-Although I choose to believe in God, I do accept the possibility that there is not, and the whole majestic Universe is just the result of chance and happenstance. But! This would be an incredible waste of time and space and I think it is even more remote a possibility than the existence of God.

Same goes for Aliens. No, they don't come here in flying saucers, but out of this unimaginably huge and majestic Universe I can't reconcile myself with the fact that we (Humanity) are the only intelligent species. (Even more so for life itself) However, if we ever do meet or talk to other life forms you can bet that they will be far less barbaric than we are now, because they realised long ago just how precious and rare life and intelligence is.

(There are many more examples.... which shall be added to this piece shortly!)

Your "Call me Houdini" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at http://www.god-101.com/ and the blog "Perspective" at http://god-101.blogspot.com/