Sunday Morning Funnies #55

A married couple was on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, 'You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop!'

So they walked in, and the Jamaican said, 'I have some special sandals I tink you would be interested in... Dey make you wild at sex.

'The wife got really interested in buying the sandals, but the husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was. The husband asked the shopkeeper, 'How could sandals make you into a sex freak?

'The Jamaican replied, 'Just try dem on, Mon. You doan haff to do nutting cept try dem on.

'So the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many years!

In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips.

The Jamaican then began screaming, 'You got dem on da wrong feet! Mon, you got dem on da wrong feet!'...

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A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together.

They get back to her place, and as she shows him around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher and huge bears on the top shelf along the wall.

The man is kind of surprised that this woman would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.

After a night of passion, as they are lying together in the after glow the man rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?"

The woman says:

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"You can have any prize from the bottom shelf."


That joke brought home the fact that a man can walk into a bar and say to himself; "Who do I have a chance of sleeping with tonight."

A woman can walk into the same bar and say with certainty; "Who am I going to let come home with me tonight!"

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com