Woman jailed for attack on man's testicles!

A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend's testicle with her bare hands has been sent to prison.

Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard.

She pulled off his left testicle and then a friend handed it back to Mr. Jones saying: Here, this is yours!


(Don't date this woman!)

Monti admitted to wounding and was jailed for two-and-a-half years.

Your "Don't it make your eyes water?" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

Here Doggy Doggy!

There is a saying about pet lovers that the more they love their pets the more shit you can sell them.

We now bring you the ULTIMATE in gifts for your little poochie poo. DOG NUTS!

That's right boys and girls, if you decide to have poor Rex neutered, but are afraid he might develop a severe bout of depression over losing his balls, you can now get a fake set inserted so that he never knows the difference.

Heaven forbid your pooch should develop complexes and feel he is not 100% "complete" when for a mere 500 bucks or so you can have a brand new set of "Neuticles" inserted and give your best friend "piece of mind" and a sunny disposition! Remember, the only reason a dog licks his balls is because he can!

Your "all the new that fits" scribe;
Allan W Janssen