I thought you looked familiar!

(Hollywood) in Re-hab!

It hasn't been a good week for poor old _______!

After Monday's disastrous box office/sales results for _____ new ________, things have taken a turn for the worse and gone on a dangerous downward spiral.

Tuesday started a week of heavy drinking and partying which led to allegations of a homosexual affair on Wednesday evening at a popular Hollywood night spot.

This lead to a shooting at __________'s home in the early morning hours when _________ walked in on the illicit affair.


Police charged ___________ with aggravated assault and he/she was released on bail pending a court appearance next month.

By Thursday ________ is rumoured to have slept with ________ best friends _________ and also performed some sort of lewd act with the family pet while _____ was out of town !

Friday night is not much better for our newly shaved bald friend as he/she was arrested for D.U.I. by Beverly Hills police, who then found thirteen tabs of ecstasy in the car.

Saturday morning _______was bailed out by his/her _________ who immediately filed for divorce and is seeking a 120 million dollar settlement plus custody of the monkey.

Sunday morning _______ tried to make amends with ________, but couldn't get near the house since the dog kept growling and barking at him/her.

_____ then took ________ into re-hab so that he/she would be in shape for next weeks start of production on ___________ which is reported to have the biggest budget in Hollywood history.

_________ payday for this ________ will be a $25 million dollar advance, which will bring his/her earnings this year to $120 million.

Your "Hush, Hush, and on the Q.T." scribe;
Allan W Janssen

(Just fill in who, and what, you want! It won't be too far off!)

Not all heroes are people!

James Crane worked on the 101st floor of Tower 1 of the World Trade Center. He was blind so he had a golden retriever "seeing eye dog" named Daisy. She was with him on that 11th day of September, 2001!

After the plane hit 20 stories below, James knew that he was doomed, so out of an act of love he let Daisy go. She darted away into the darkened hallway.

Choking on the fumes of the jet fuel and the smoke, James just sat there waiting to die!

About 30 minutes later, Daisy comes back along with James' boss, who Daisy just happened to pick up on floor 112.

On her first run out of the building, she lead James, James' boss, and about 300 more people out of the doomed building.

But she wasn't through yet, she knew there were others who were trapped. So, highly against James' wishes she ran back in the building.

On her second run, she saved 392 lives.

Again she went back in.

During this run, the building collapses. James hears about this and falls on his knees into tears.

Against all known odds, Daisy makes it out alive, but this time she is carried by a firefighter. "She led us right to the people, before she got injured," the fireman explained.

Her final run saved another 273 lives. She suffered acute smoke inhalation, severe burns on all four paws, and a broken leg, but she saved a total 967 lives. Daisy was the first civilian Canine to win the Medal of Honor of New York City.

And now you know, "The rest of the story!"

Your "grateful" scribe;
Allan W Janssen