(Hollywood) in Re-hab!

It hasn't been a good week for poor old _______!

After Monday's disastrous box office/sales results for _____ new ________, things have taken a turn for the worse and gone on a dangerous downward spiral.

Tuesday started a week of heavy drinking and partying which led to allegations of a homosexual affair on Wednesday evening at a popular Hollywood night spot.

This lead to a shooting at __________'s home in the early morning hours when _________ walked in on the illicit affair.


Police charged ___________ with aggravated assault and he/she was released on bail pending a court appearance next month.

By Thursday ________ is rumoured to have slept with ________ best friends _________ and also performed some sort of lewd act with the family pet while _____ was out of town !

Friday night is not much better for our newly shaved bald friend as he/she was arrested for D.U.I. by Beverly Hills police, who then found thirteen tabs of ecstasy in the car.

Saturday morning _______was bailed out by his/her _________ who immediately filed for divorce and is seeking a 120 million dollar settlement plus custody of the monkey.

Sunday morning _______ tried to make amends with ________, but couldn't get near the house since the dog kept growling and barking at him/her.

_____ then took ________ into re-hab so that he/she would be in shape for next weeks start of production on ___________ which is reported to have the biggest budget in Hollywood history.

_________ payday for this ________ will be a $25 million dollar advance, which will bring his/her earnings this year to $120 million.

Your "Hush, Hush, and on the Q.T." scribe;
Allan W Janssen

(Just fill in who, and what, you want! It won't be too far off!)

Bang, Bang............stop or I'll shoot!

The police have a built in problem that affects every police force and individual cop on the planet.

A policeman (or woman) is an individual who has the power of the State vested in him/her so that we can maintain law and order.

Over the course of time, (sometimes quickly, sometimes later) this individual seems to loose the distinction of having the "authority" vested in him/herself and starts to assume that they "ARE THE LAW."

As I said, this eventually affects every cop on the planet sooner or later and the consequences can be severe!

These two examples from New York City show what can go wrong!

Mayor Michael Bloomberg weighed in yesterday on the uproar over a deadly police shooting, saying bluntly that officers appeared to use excessive force when they fired 50 shoots at an unarmed man in a confrontation outside a strip club hours before his wedding.

The groom, Sean Bell, 23, was killed and two of his friends were wounded early Saturday after a bachelor party at the strip club.

Suspecting (?) that one of the men had a gun, police fired 50 rounds into the fleeing vehicle. It turned out the men were unarmed but just the same one 12 year veteran of the force fired his weapon 31 times, emptying two full magazines of ammunition into the car.

It's nice to see someone so enthusiastic about their job. It must also be said that one officer was struck (but not injured) by the suspects car as they tried to leave, but this has not been proven.

The other case is even more bizzare. A few months ago in the Bronx, Amadou Diallo was an unarmed BLACK West African immigrant who was shot 19 times by four WHITE officers.

THEY WERE ACQUITTED OF ALL CRIMINAL CHARGES!

Your "lock the doors!" scribe:
Allan W Janssen

Only in America?

If it was just a shooting - or a car wreck - or a guy hit by a car - or a window-smashing shoe salesman - or a kidnapping - or an assault - or a carjacking - then it would just be an average story. But!

Greensboro, NC -- A confusing shooting case in Greensboro Friday night landed a man in the hospital. Among other things!

1. The people involved told police a guy selling shoes knocked on the door of a vacant house on Hackett Street around 8:00pm.

2. The salesman says four men pulled him inside the house and locked him in a closet.

3. Then, the four went outside and tried to steal the shoe salesman's car.

4. The salesman kicked his way out of the closet and used a lamp to smash his own car window as the four tried driving away and....

5. That's when they backed into a tree.

6. Seconds later, one of the men in the car shot at the salesman.

7. He hit one of his buddies instead.

8. That gunshot victim ran out onto Highway 29.

9. Got hit by a car.

10. Flagged down other cars for a ride to the hospital.

11. The first driver to stop refused to help him.

12. The second driver picked him up and took him to a grocery store.

13. He then assaulted the driver of the car for not taking him to hospital and tried a carjacking. When that didn't work.........

14. He called for an ambulance.

As of today, police are still trying to figure out who will get charged, and with what!