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Middle aged hetrosexual, WASP male. Middle of the road, reasonably sane and  reasonably employed.

Monday, July 02, 2007

The smoker you drink, the player you get!

What a week this is going to be.

Canada Day is today, (Monday) and the U.S. Fourth of July is Wednesday so it looks like North America is not going to get much work done this week!

Things got off to a bad start last Friday when a bunch of my old high school buddies ("Old" is not that far off the mark anymore!") stopped by and stayed until Sunday Morning!

They probably would have stayed longer but the "Mrs. Herself" got fed up and threw everyone out.

After they left I had 12 small bottles of whiskey left which I took down to the cellar to put away, but my wife found them this morning and instructed me to empty them.

She said, "Empty each and every bottle down the sink," so I proceeded with the task.

I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass which I drank.

I extracted the cork from the second bottle and did likewise, with the exception of one glass which I drank.

I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass which I drank.

I pulled the cork from the fourth sink, poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank.

I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next, and drank one sink out of it and threw the rest down the glass.

I pulled the sink out of the glass and poured the cork from the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink, and drank the pour.

When I had everything emptied I steadied the house with one hand, counted the bottles, corks, glasses, and sinks with the other, which were 29, and put the houses in one bottle, which I drank.

I'm not under the affluence of incohol, but thinke peep I am.

I'm not half so thunk as you might drink. I fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and the drunker I stand here the longer I get.

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) at www.God-101.com

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