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Showing posts with label survey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label survey. Show all posts

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Survey Says!!!!

Our fantastic "Perspective" research department has come through for us again!

Since this is an American Election time and we are going to be flooded with polls anyways, we decided to go out and do our own on the really IMPORTANT issues!

65% of all Americans believe that frozen pizza will never be any good and there's nothing science can do about it.

45% of Americans think rain doesn't feel as good in real life as it seems to in the movies.

16% of Perot voters believe "if dolphins were really smart, they could get out of those nets."

70% of American women have never had an emotionally satisfying relationship with a Republican.

62% of Americans believe that a trip to a major theme park is more culturally enriching than a trip to the Reagan Library.

39% of Americans believe that guns are not "as dangerous as they say."

15% of Americans wish Dennis Hopper would go back on drugs.

29% of Americans believe that Elvis was right to shoot TV sets.

29% of Perot voters say, "The candidate I vote for usually loses."

11% of Americans that suffer from indigestion would rather retake the SAT than watch a Jesse Helms filibuster.

88% of Bush voters "have no idea what rappers are talking about."

14% of Americans surveyed agree that Puerto Rico should not be the 51st state because "that extra star would make the flag look bad."

35% of Americans believe Richard Nixon went to heaven.

59% believe he went "somewhere else."

34% of those who voted in the last election believe "Forrest Gump" was a documentary.

60% of Americans say that, if they could push a button that would make Larry King disappear, they would "keep pushing it and not stop."

37% of Americans agree that while they would hate being British, they wouldn't mind having a British accent.

11% of people who have tried Prozac would like to see Dan Quayle make a comeback because "Al Gore just isn't funny enough."

36% of college graduates think that there are virtually no female serial killers because women "just aren't aggressive enough."

12% of those polled believe the success of actor David Hasselhoff, star of Baywatch, is due at least in part, to "dealings with the devil."

45% of Americans believe that if space aliens could pick up C-SPAN and see Sonny Bono speaking on the floor of Congress, they would never visit the Earth.

17% of college graduates would punch themselves really hard in the face for $50.

28% of those who said they were "normal" Americans, would like to be King of Great Britain, but not if it meant marrying the Queen.

44% of Republicans said they would watch "Nightline" if it had a band and an opening comedy monologue. If Jesus came back and saw that Pat Robertson was his spokesperson,

46% of Americans think that we'd all be in big trouble.

42% of Americans feel that Kato Kaelin should be a passenger on the next space shuttle, whether he wants to go or not.

26% of those in possession of a firearm believe that the second amendment protects their right to buy explosive fertilizer.

81% of those who have seen two or more "Police Academy" movies believe that O.J. is innocent.

29% of those surveyed think that the guy who first put the "Great" in front of "Britain" probably meant it as a joke.

16% of all Americans believe that the world is out to get them.
Of those, 46% are gun owners.

One third of American women agree that baseball was more exciting when it was on strike.

40% of Americans remember where they were when "JFK" the movie was shot. Of those who said they've had a good cry in the past six months, 42% were Democrats, 27% were Republicans and 54% said they believe in UFO's.

In the past year 36% of Americans have chanted "We're Number One!"

Only 22% of Bush voters have chanted "We're Number One!"

More Americans say they would rather spend time in a jacuzzi with Dan Rather than Tom Brokaw. Of those who would tub with Dan, 10% have no health insurance.

12.5% of Americans that voted for Clinton believe that they will someday be told "just what Victoria's Secret is."

98% of Bush voters believe they will never know.

65% of American women believe there is "a lot of difference" between a campaign contribution and a bribe. Only 35% of men see a difference.

28% of Americans think that our army's high-tech military equipment is too expensive to risk in combat.

10% of the American public would pay $5 to see Senator Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) fight a big mean dog on Pay TV.

86% of all viewers would root for the dog.

100% of women viewers would root for the dog.

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Left or Right?

Today is the official start of the race for President in the U.S. so I thought this might be appropriate for all the political junkies!

20 Things You Have to Believe to be a Republican

1. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

2. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

3. Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.

4. “Standing Tall for America” means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

5. A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all humankind without regulation.

6. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

7. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.

8. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.

9. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.

10. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

11. HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.

12. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

13. Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

14. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a “we can’t find Bin Laden” diversion.

15. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is a solid defense policy.

16. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

17. The public has a right to know about Hillary’s cattle trades, but George Bush’s driving record is none of our business.

18. You support states’ rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.

19. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the 1980s is irrelevant.

20. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist; but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

20 Things You Have to Believe to be a Democrat

1) You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of funding.

2) You have to be against capital punishment but for abortion on demand -in short, you support protecting the guilty and killing the innocent.

3) You have to believe that the same overpaid public school idiot who can't teach 4th graders how to read is qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

4) You have to believe that trial lawyers are selfless heroes and doctors are overpaid.

5) You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of the Red Chinese.

6) You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the brilliance of the Sun, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

7) You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being gay is natural.

8) You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

9) You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature but pasty-faced, fey activists who've never been outside Seattle do.

10) You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11) You have to believe there was no art before federal funding.

12) You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.

13) You have to believe the free market that gives us 500+ channels can't deliver the programming quality PBS does.

14) You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it stands up for certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because they stand up for certain parts of the Constitution.

15) You have to believe that taxes are too low but ATM fees are too high.

16) You have to believe that Harriet Tubman, Cesar Chavez and Gloria Steinman are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Alva Edison.

17) You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

18) You have to believe that second-hand smoke is more dangerous than HIV.

19) You have to believe that conservatives are racists but black people couldn't make it without your help.

20) You have to believe that the only reason democratic socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

AND

No matter whether you're left or right, you have to believe that this message is a part of a vast conspiracy.


Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Survey says.

On a survey done in Britain over the weekend more than half of the respondents professed a belief in God. At the same time well over half also said that religion was "harmful!" (We have been saying that here all along!)

The YouGov poll commissioned by John Humphrys, the broadcaster and writer, found that 62% of the 2,200 people taking part considered religion had a harmful effect.

One reason might be the publicity attracted by a handful of mad mullahs and their hate-filled rhetoric, writes Humphrys in his new book, In God We Doubt, an extract of which appears in the Sunday Times News Review.

Only 16% of those polled called themselves atheists; 35% believed in God; 35% believed in something, but were not sure what; and 14% regarded themselves as agnostics - like Humphrys himself, who had a religious upbringing in Wales but calls himself a doubter.

He writes: Even though the dominant faith - by a massive margin is Christianity, only 17% thought the influence of religion was beneficial. That is even fewer than those who claim that they believe in a personal God. And yet when we asked which of the main religions was most effective in getting its message across, most thought it was Christianity. Only 10% cited Islam compared with 42% who said Christianity.

In the survey 52% said they never prayed, 38% hardly prayed, and 10% prayed every night.

More than half of those who say they believe in a personal God cannot be bothered to pray to him every night, writes Humphrys.

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Survey Says; Or, Inquiring minds want to know..... WHY?

Your humble scribe has taken great pains and effort to conduct a survey on the top 25 reasons that we engage in sex, and after crunching all the numbers and getting slapped and threatened quite a few times. we came up with this list!!!

Top 25 reasons why men and women have sex:

1. I was attracted to the person
2. I wanted to experience the physical pleasure
3. It feels good
4. I wanted to show my affection to the person
5. I wanted to express my love for the person
6. I was sexually aroused and wanted the release
7. I was ‘‘horny’’
8. It’s fun
9. I realized I was in love
10. I was ‘‘in the heat of the moment’’
11. I wanted to please my partner
12. I desired emotional closeness
13. I wanted the pure pleasure
14. I wanted to achieve an orgasm
15. It’s exciting, adventurous
16. I wanted to feel connected to the person
17. The person’s physical appearance turned me on
18. It was a romantic setting
20. The person made me feel sexy
21. The person caressed me
22. It seemed like the natural next step in my relationship
23. I wanted to become one with another person
24. It just happened
25. I wanted to increase the emotional bond by having sex

Or, as they said in that old movie, Treasure of the Sierra Madre;
"Reasons? We don't need no stinkin' reasons!"

Your "hot as they come" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

(No pun intended!)

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian!

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. In addition, you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 at www.God-101.com

Friday, May 25, 2007

Survey Says.....!

Please answer with either "A" or "B" in the comments section below!

A. YES, I live in a country that has been invaded by the United States!

B. NO, I live in a country that is still on their "to do" list!

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) www.God-101.com

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Survey Says!

Well, this is the time of year where there seems to be an awards show every week and a new poll every day.

I found a few interesting facts about Muslims in Canada from a new Environics poll conducted in association with the CBC.

A much larger proportion of Canadian Muslims are satisfied with the way things are going today in Canada than is the case in Europe.

More than 80 per cent of Canada's roughly 700,000 Muslims are broadly satisfied with their lives here and only a very small percentage - 17 per cent - feel that many or most Canadians are hostile toward their religion.

The proportion is greater even than the 61 per cent of Canadians who generally feel their lives are on the right track.

In general terms, the poll found that 73 per cent of Canadian Muslims describe themselves as "very proud" to be called Canadians, even if many of them see their religion as coming first in certain instances.

As well, they have very little sympathy for extremists or terrorist groups and they aren't crazy about the northern climate,
-it tops the list of things they like least.

Now comes the interesting part! Asked about the arrests last summer of the 18 Muslim men and boys who were allegedly plotting terrorist attacks in southern Ontario, 73 per cent of the Muslim respondents said these attacks were not at all justified and 82 per cent said they had no sympathy for those who wanted to carry them out.

O.K. That means 27 percent felt there was some justification for the terrorists and 18 percent had some sympathy for the perpetaraitors. Why isn't it 0%

Now I realise that these small percentages are probably accounted for by the under thirty crowd, but just the same it is worrying!

Almost half (49 per cent) of the general Canadian population feel new immigrants should blend in with the rest of the country, while 40 per cent feel they should be encouraged to maintain their religious and cultural practices.

The differences are more pronounced when it comes to women: 81 per cent of non-Muslim Canadians feel ethnic minorities should adapt to mainstream Canadian beliefs about the rights and roles of women, whereas only 36 per cent of Canadian Muslims feel that way, the poll suggests.

A majority of the Muslim respondents (53 per cent) would also like to see Islamic Sharia law adopted for divorce and other family disputes, and a much larger number, 86 per cent, of Canadian Muslims do not feel governments should ban the wearing of headscarves by Muslim women in public, including public schools.

Many of these concerns are more strongly backed by young Muslims under 30, the survey suggests, and Haideh Moghissi, a York University sociologist who has worked extensively in this area, says these should probably be seen as more of a "political gesture than a religious one" by those who have felt their community "bearing the brunt of this suspicion and fear" since the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks.

In fact, almost 60 per cent of Muslim women do not wear any kind of covering on a regular basis, the survey found. And 72 per cent of the respondents said they were not too worried or not worried at all about Muslim women taking on more modern roles in Canadian society.

These figures seems to suggest about the same numbers as for other ethnic groups over the years, except for the one disturbing aspect of some sympathy and support for terrorist ambitions.

This alone should justify any concerns about the Muslim community!

Your "ever vigilant" scribe;
Allan W Janssen