Another in the riveting series about how and why things work the way they do!
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Monday, April 21, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
The Ultimate and Final Explanation of God!
Richard Dawkins has got a lot to say, and I have to admit I agree with most of it!
As a matter of fact I quote him extensively in my book "The Plain Truth About God!"
But, in spite of his rail's against the Creationists, and his disparagement of Intelligent Design, he is no better nor worse than the people he tries to discredit!
Don't get me wrong, Dr. Dawkins in one hell of a smart guy and I don't ever hope to equal him in the intelligence or education area.
But, I sure can and will take him on in the common sense field, and any day of the week too!
Here's why!
Any form of Athiesm is a belief system the same as religious conviction is.
You can believe that there is absolutely no God the same as you can believe that God made the world in seven days. No difference, because neither can actually be proven.
It's what you believe that counts!
Yes bunky, Richard Dawkins and Pat Robertson are two sides to the same coin!
But an agnostic (like me) on the other hand is a whole different kettle of fish! We don't know and say so.
And for that reason we are 100% correct!
I don't have the answer to the afterlife like Pat Robertson or Billy Graham or Dr. Dawkins or Isaac Asimov or Newton or Jim and Tammy Baker or Arthur C Clarke or Germain Greer or George Carlin or The Pope or Ghandi or Stalin or Lennon. (Vlad, not John)
I could keep going with the list but you get the idea. These people are all percieved to be a lot smarter than I, but they still base their ideas on a belief system which means they have a 50% chance of being right.
Stupid me, on the other hand, appears to be 100% right and I don't have to start following somebody that is long on faith and short on logic and only has a 50% chance of being right anyway. (This is even before we get into all the differnt types of religion that claim they are right and the others wrong, right!)
While there is no solution to this dilema I think that we have to take it upon ourselves to reach our potential as a people. We need to do the best we can with a bit of style, grace and maturity.
We can't keep running to God for help OR use God as an excuse for our actions. We have to grow up and become responsible for ourselves.!
Until God actually shows up on my doorstep I will try to keep an open mind, because if we strictly use logic and look at the world around us, then I have to conclude that there is no God.
But, if I look at nature and the universe in general with all its complexities and wonders, I have to conclude that there is a God.
Quite a conundrum, eh?
The safest course seems to be some sort of middle ground that is supported by what makes sense.
That seems to be why "The Universe" must have been started by something, but sure doesn't interfere with us in any way as far as our day to day living goes.
Intelligent Design (Not the I.D. the fundamentalists are trying to slip in the back door of religion!) or First Cause? Seems so!!!!
But then again, I could be wrong.
Your humble scribe;
Allan W Janssen
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
As a matter of fact I quote him extensively in my book "The Plain Truth About God!"
But, in spite of his rail's against the Creationists, and his disparagement of Intelligent Design, he is no better nor worse than the people he tries to discredit!
Don't get me wrong, Dr. Dawkins in one hell of a smart guy and I don't ever hope to equal him in the intelligence or education area.
But, I sure can and will take him on in the common sense field, and any day of the week too!
Here's why!
Any form of Athiesm is a belief system the same as religious conviction is. You can believe that there is absolutely no God the same as you can believe that God made the world in seven days. No difference, because neither can actually be proven.
It's what you believe that counts!
Yes bunky, Richard Dawkins and Pat Robertson are two sides to the same coin!But an agnostic (like me) on the other hand is a whole different kettle of fish! We don't know and say so.
And for that reason we are 100% correct!
I don't have the answer to the afterlife like Pat Robertson or Billy Graham or Dr. Dawkins or Isaac Asimov or Newton or Jim and Tammy Baker or Arthur C Clarke or Germain Greer or George Carlin or The Pope or Ghandi or Stalin or Lennon. (Vlad, not John)I could keep going with the list but you get the idea. These people are all percieved to be a lot smarter than I, but they still base their ideas on a belief system which means they have a 50% chance of being right.
Stupid me, on the other hand, appears to be 100% right and I don't have to start following somebody that is long on faith and short on logic and only has a 50% chance of being right anyway. (This is even before we get into all the differnt types of religion that claim they are right and the others wrong, right!)
While there is no solution to this dilema I think that we have to take it upon ourselves to reach our potential as a people. We need to do the best we can with a bit of style, grace and maturity.
We can't keep running to God for help OR use God as an excuse for our actions. We have to grow up and become responsible for ourselves.!
Until God actually shows up on my doorstep I will try to keep an open mind, because if we strictly use logic and look at the world around us, then I have to conclude that there is no God.
But, if I look at nature and the universe in general with all its complexities and wonders, I have to conclude that there is a God.
Quite a conundrum, eh?
The safest course seems to be some sort of middle ground that is supported by what makes sense.
That seems to be why "The Universe" must have been started by something, but sure doesn't interfere with us in any way as far as our day to day living goes.
Intelligent Design (Not the I.D. the fundamentalists are trying to slip in the back door of religion!) or First Cause? Seems so!!!!
But then again, I could be wrong.
Your humble scribe;
Allan W Janssen
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Sunday Morning Funnies #2 1/2
What Do Retired People Do All Day?
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day the wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes.
When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?"
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Dumbass. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.
So Mary called him a shithead.
He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he started writing a third ticket.
This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus.
We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired.
It's important at our age.
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Guess who's coming to dinner? (Came home early, actually!)
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day the wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes.
When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?"
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Dumbass. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.
So Mary called him a shithead.
He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he started writing a third ticket.
This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus.
We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired.
It's important at our age.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Guess who's coming to dinner? (Came home early, actually!)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Ultimate Blonde Joke:
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks the blonde if she would like to play a fun game.
The blonde, who is tired, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don`t know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don`t know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don`t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What`s the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
"Okay", the lawyer continues, "your turn."
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references but he can`t find an answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress, but he still has no answer. Frustrated, he e-mails all his friends and coworkers, which turns out to be to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.
The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
Goodnight.
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Bored? Take the test!
Here it is the weekend and ya got nuthin to do! Is that what ya say, bunky?
Well then step right up because we're going to find out just what sort of a hairpin you are!
Just take the TEST!
WHAT'S YOUR COMMUNICATION STYLE?
ARE YOU AN ANALYTICAL THINKER?
HOW WELL DO YOU HANDLE A CRISIS?
WHAT ARE YOUR STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES?
HOW HONEST ARE YOU?
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Well then step right up because we're going to find out just what sort of a hairpin you are!
Just take the TEST!
WHAT'S YOUR COMMUNICATION STYLE?
ARE YOU AN ANALYTICAL THINKER?
HOW WELL DO YOU HANDLE A CRISIS?
WHAT ARE YOUR STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES?
HOW HONEST ARE YOU?
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Saturday Morning Confusion #67 1/2
What a way to waste a Saturday morning. Canadian artist Melanie Coles is revamping an age-old kid's game with satellites, Google Earth and a brightly colored rooftop painting.
Coles's project, Where on Earth is Waldo?, is a twist on the popular series of books Where's Waldo?, but instead of identifying Waldo among pages of cluttered illustrations, players can hunt for Waldo using Google Earth. (Me)
Coles constructed a 55-foot long Waldo, clad in his characteristic red-and-white striped sweater, matching ski cap and glasses, on a rooftop somewhere in Greater Vancouver, Canada, though she's keeping mum on the exact location.
The word is spreading and I not only heard about it this morning, but have spent the last two hours trying to find the not-so-little dipstick!
Let me tell you something Melanie, if I don't find him in the next hour you're getting my "asshole of the day" award!
If I do, I'm giving myself the "winner of the day" prize!
I'm sorry I can't write any more at the moment but I've got to find that damn Waldo!
If I do I will write. (But ya ain't gettin the location!)
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Coles's project, Where on Earth is Waldo?, is a twist on the popular series of books Where's Waldo?, but instead of identifying Waldo among pages of cluttered illustrations, players can hunt for Waldo using Google Earth. (Me)
Coles constructed a 55-foot long Waldo, clad in his characteristic red-and-white striped sweater, matching ski cap and glasses, on a rooftop somewhere in Greater Vancouver, Canada, though she's keeping mum on the exact location.
The word is spreading and I not only heard about it this morning, but have spent the last two hours trying to find the not-so-little dipstick!
Let me tell you something Melanie, if I don't find him in the next hour you're getting my "asshole of the day" award! If I do, I'm giving myself the "winner of the day" prize!
I'm sorry I can't write any more at the moment but I've got to find that damn Waldo!
If I do I will write. (But ya ain't gettin the location!)
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Friday, April 18, 2008
Another reason I don't like cats!
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Spencer Tunick and Borat!
We have all heard of the old maxim that television will always sink to it's lowest common denominator? (Look at Jerry Springer here or Benny Hill in Britain.)
Well let me tell you bunky, it's NOOoooo different on the Internet.
Out of curiosity today I looked at what subjects drew the most readers and response.... and to my surprise, (stupid me) I found out that Spencer Tunic (The guy who photographs crowds of naked people) and BORAT in his bathing suit, outranked any other subject or article by a margin of over 10-1.
Never mind anything about politics, humorous side of life, religion, current events, lifestyle, finances, international or local events, or a host of other things.
Nope!
Just hundreds of naked people or Borat being an asshole!
Thank God I don't do stuff on Britney Spears!
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Well let me tell you bunky, it's NOOoooo different on the Internet.
Out of curiosity today I looked at what subjects drew the most readers and response.... and to my surprise, (stupid me) I found out that Spencer Tunic (The guy who photographs crowds of naked people) and BORAT in his bathing suit, outranked any other subject or article by a margin of over 10-1.
Never mind anything about politics, humorous side of life, religion, current events, lifestyle, finances, international or local events, or a host of other things.Nope!
Just hundreds of naked people or Borat being an asshole!
Thank God I don't do stuff on Britney Spears!
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
What's the matter with kids these days?
Got this in the mail today!
SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007
Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counsellors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.
Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane pain t bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.
I wish this could hit every e-mail - pass it on!
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007
Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counsellors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.
Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane pain t bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.
I wish this could hit every e-mail - pass it on!
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Kim Jong-ill NOT so ill after all.
Since we mentioned him in the previous article, it seems fair to say that Fearless Leader Kim Jong-ill is not as crazy as we make him out to be. He sure seems to be able to run rings around his contemporaries on the International stageEveryone thought that North Korea was going to dismantle is nuclear program according to an agreement reached after a bizarre amount of haggling.
(Remember when demands were coming one after the other and changing every other week? But we were finally led to believe that an agreement had been reached, hadn't we Bunky?)
Well guess what kids! (Jong-ill trying not to laugh!)->
The United States on Thursday for the first time admitted it was scaling back its demands of North Korea in a bid to break a diplomatic stalemate on dismantling Pyongyang's nuclear arms programs.
The top Asia hand at the US National Security Council, Dennis Wilder, said North Korea was not "off the hook" on fully declaring its atomic programs, but that proliferation issues would be "handled in a different manner."
(Right!)
On Wednesday, the United States said it was working with its diplomatic partners on a new mechanism to scrutinize any nuclear declaration by North Korea.
The announcement of the new verification measure came amid criticism of a reported prospective deal reached earlier this month between US and North Korean envoys, which caused a great deal of skepticism among experts.
The United States never seems to have heard of that old saying "fool me once, shame on you, fools me twice shame one me!"
I would like to add this; "fool me over and over, and what the hell is wrong with me!"
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Thursday Notes
News from here, there and everywhere by the award winning Perspective research department!
First the "there."
News out of North Korea from our Asian Bureau that Fearless Leader Kim Jong-ill is going to make the ultimate sacrifice for his Country and fly to a working holiday in China and Vietnam.
Apparently Kim has a big fear of flying and takes the train everywhere, even on a trip to Moscow some years ago.
Since he is going to be flying, he needed a personal plane, so the government went to Russia and bought him one for this trip.
Meanwhile North Korea is once again near mass starvation for it's people. (And the reason the army is so big is because they get regular food!)
South Korea expressed disappointment that Kim Jong-ill's "ultimate sacrifice" didn't mean that he was going to kill himself!
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Next; Hot off the "Persective" news wire. Marth Stewart's dog has died!
It made all the papers.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well pimp my Pope.......
Pope Benedict XVI has criticised US bishops for their handling of child sex scandals involving Catholic Priests, saying their response to the crisis had sometimes been very poor.
However, he laid part of the blame for the crisis, of which he feels "deeply ashamed", on a breakdown in US values which allowed the priests to perpetrate those acts.
(Yup, if a guy's a pedophile, it's Societies fault!!!)
By the way, on the third day of his visit to the United States, Pope Benedict will celebrate Mass in Washington's new baseball stadium and perform the traditional "blessing of the ball!",
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From Fox News, the flagship of Journalistic integrity: Oprah Winfrey may have gone too far in exploiting and distributing the teachings of a questionable New Age writer.
On Monday night this week, Winfrey conducted her weekly web “event” seminar with new age writer Eckhart Tolle. His message: “Life is the dancer and you are the dance.”
Got that?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And finally; Global auction house Sotheby's failed to hammer off a 72.22-carat, "D" flawless white diamond at its Asian sales last week in a possible sign of weakness in the global diamond trade.
The large diamond which had a pre-sale estimate of $10-12 million, attracted a final bid of HK$73 million ($9.24million) that fell short of the reserve price and went unsold, said Sotheby's press officer Rhonda Yung.
(That reserve must have been $10 million. Oh well, another day, another dollar!)
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
First the "there."
News out of North Korea from our Asian Bureau that Fearless Leader Kim Jong-ill is going to make the ultimate sacrifice for his Country and fly to a working holiday in China and Vietnam.
Apparently Kim has a big fear of flying and takes the train everywhere, even on a trip to Moscow some years ago.
Since he is going to be flying, he needed a personal plane, so the government went to Russia and bought him one for this trip.
Meanwhile North Korea is once again near mass starvation for it's people. (And the reason the army is so big is because they get regular food!)
South Korea expressed disappointment that Kim Jong-ill's "ultimate sacrifice" didn't mean that he was going to kill himself!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Next; Hot off the "Persective" news wire. Marth Stewart's dog has died!
It made all the papers.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well pimp my Pope.......
Pope Benedict XVI has criticised US bishops for their handling of child sex scandals involving Catholic Priests, saying their response to the crisis had sometimes been very poor. However, he laid part of the blame for the crisis, of which he feels "deeply ashamed", on a breakdown in US values which allowed the priests to perpetrate those acts.
(Yup, if a guy's a pedophile, it's Societies fault!!!)
By the way, on the third day of his visit to the United States, Pope Benedict will celebrate Mass in Washington's new baseball stadium and perform the traditional "blessing of the ball!",
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From Fox News, the flagship of Journalistic integrity: Oprah Winfrey may have gone too far in exploiting and distributing the teachings of a questionable New Age writer.
On Monday night this week, Winfrey conducted her weekly web “event” seminar with new age writer Eckhart Tolle. His message: “Life is the dancer and you are the dance.”
Got that?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And finally; Global auction house Sotheby's failed to hammer off a 72.22-carat, "D" flawless white diamond at its Asian sales last week in a possible sign of weakness in the global diamond trade. The large diamond which had a pre-sale estimate of $10-12 million, attracted a final bid of HK$73 million ($9.24million) that fell short of the reserve price and went unsold, said Sotheby's press officer Rhonda Yung.
(That reserve must have been $10 million. Oh well, another day, another dollar!)
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Terrorists arrested for playing PAINTBALL?
A while back (2006) there were 18 alleged "Terrorists" arrested in Toronto for plans to blow up the Canadian Parliament Buildings, kidnap politicians, bomb public monuments and the TTC subway!
From the news reports at the time it sounded as if these guys were going to destroy Canadian society and bring our way of life to it's knees.
(OK boys, roll to the present!)
Now we are starting to get a whole different "Perspective" on what really went on with these "TERRORISTS!"
First three of them were released for being minors and lack of evidence and now another four have been released this week with no explanation other than the courts would not proceed with cases against them!
We now have about half of them released and one of the last four has made a statement that the "Terrorist Training Camp" they were supposed to be attending was in fact a weekend of "Paintball!" (This means me and my kid and are terrorists too!)
We now are faced with a situation where 11 terrorists are sitting behind bars and there are a whole lot of red-faced politicians and cops and spies etc. etc.
Personally I don't doubt that some of the guys left in custody will eventually be found guilty of some half-assed plot, BUT, what really disturbs me is this!
These people have been held for close to two years in a prison, in solitary confinement, and for most of that time did not have access to a lawyer of even had charges brought against them.
They were held under a "security certificate!"
As in the States, our rule of law was thrown out the window because of the knee jerk reaction of the authorities.
We let a guy called Mahar Arar be abducted by US authorities and then gave false information about him. This caused him to be sent to the Middle East to be tortured.
They also kept some other guy, whose name escapes me at the moment, in jail for five years on the same certificate without charges......... before being released!
(On a side note, things are so bent out of shape that during this same time we had a bunch of cops in Toronto charged with corruption and they just had their lawyers delay the proceeding for six months...... and then got off because they were being denied their right to a "speedy trail!")
Terrorism is a threat that has been grossly over hyped (In spite of 9/11 etc.) and the average person on the street would be more likely to get hit by lightning than die in a bombing or other act.
However! Let's get something back into perspective here, if the terrorists objective is to cause panic and confusion in our general society then they have succeeded magnificently because there is something seriously wrong here!
Your "one the spot" scribe;
Allan W Janssen
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
From the news reports at the time it sounded as if these guys were going to destroy Canadian society and bring our way of life to it's knees.
(OK boys, roll to the present!)
Now we are starting to get a whole different "Perspective" on what really went on with these "TERRORISTS!"
First three of them were released for being minors and lack of evidence and now another four have been released this week with no explanation other than the courts would not proceed with cases against them!
We now have about half of them released and one of the last four has made a statement that the "Terrorist Training Camp" they were supposed to be attending was in fact a weekend of "Paintball!" (This means me and my kid and are terrorists too!)
We now are faced with a situation where 11 terrorists are sitting behind bars and there are a whole lot of red-faced politicians and cops and spies etc. etc.
Personally I don't doubt that some of the guys left in custody will eventually be found guilty of some half-assed plot, BUT, what really disturbs me is this!
These people have been held for close to two years in a prison, in solitary confinement, and for most of that time did not have access to a lawyer of even had charges brought against them.
They were held under a "security certificate!"
As in the States, our rule of law was thrown out the window because of the knee jerk reaction of the authorities.
We let a guy called Mahar Arar be abducted by US authorities and then gave false information about him. This caused him to be sent to the Middle East to be tortured.
They also kept some other guy, whose name escapes me at the moment, in jail for five years on the same certificate without charges......... before being released!
(On a side note, things are so bent out of shape that during this same time we had a bunch of cops in Toronto charged with corruption and they just had their lawyers delay the proceeding for six months...... and then got off because they were being denied their right to a "speedy trail!")
Terrorism is a threat that has been grossly over hyped (In spite of 9/11 etc.) and the average person on the street would be more likely to get hit by lightning than die in a bombing or other act.
However! Let's get something back into perspective here, if the terrorists objective is to cause panic and confusion in our general society then they have succeeded magnificently because there is something seriously wrong here!
Your "one the spot" scribe;
Allan W Janssen
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Gas? Why trade a headache for an upset stomach!
I got this today from a faithfull reader and he makes a good point.
I don't know what you guys are paying for gasoline.... but here in California we are also paying higher, up to $3.50 per gallon. But my line of work is in petroleum for about 31 years now, so here are some tricks to get more of your money's worth for every gallon..
Here at the Kinder Morgan Pipeline where I work in San Jose , CA we deliver about 4 million gallons in a 24-hour period thru the pipeline. One day is diesel the next day is jet fuel, and gasoline, regular and premium grades. We have 34-storage tanks here with a total capacity of 16,800,000 gallons.
Only buy or fill up your car or truck in the early morning when the ground temperature is still cold. Remember that all service stations have their storage tanks buried below ground. The colder the ground the more dense the gasoline, when it gets warmer gasoline expands, so buying in the afternoon or in the evening....your gallon is not exactly a gallon. In the petroleum business, the specific gravity and the temperature of the gasoline, diesel and jet fuel, ethanol and other petroleum products plays an important role.
A 1-degree rise in temperature is a big deal for this business. But the service stations do not have temperature compensation at the pumps.
When you're filling up do not squeeze the trigger of the nozzle to a fast mode. If you look you will see that the trigger has three (3)stages: low, middle, and high. In slow mode you should be pumping on low speed, thereby minimizing the vapors that are creat ed while you are pumping. All hoses at the pump have a vapor return. If you are pumping on the fast rate, some other liquid that goes to your tank becomes vapor. Those vapors are being sucked up and back into the underground storage tank so you're getting less worth for your money.
One of the most important tips is to fill up when your gas tank is HALF FULL or HALF EMPTY. The reason for this is, the more gas you have in your tank the less air occupying its empty space. Gasoline evaporates faster than you can imagine. Gasoline storage tanks have an internal floating roof. This roof serves as zero clearance between the gas and the atmosphere, so it minimizes the evaporation. Unlike service stations, here where I work, every truck that we load is temperature compensated so that every gallon is actually the exact amount.
Another reminder, if there is a gasoline truck pumping into the storage tanks when you stop to buy gas, DO NOT fill up--most likely the gasoline is being stirred up as the gas is being delivered, and you might pick up some of the dirt that normally settles on the bottom. Hope this will help you get the most value for your money.
DO SHARE THESE TIPS WITH OTHERS!
WHERE TO BUY USA GAS, THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO KNOW. READ ON
Gas rationing in the 80's worked even though we grumbled about it. It might even be good for us! The Saudis are boycotting American goods. We should return the favor.
An interesting thought is to boycott their GAS.
Every time you fill up the car, you can avoid putting more money into the coffers of Saudi Arabia . Just buy from gas companies that don't import their oil from the Saudis.
Nothing is more frustrating than the feeling that every time I fill-up the tank, I am sending my money to people who are trying to kill me, my family, and my friends.
I thought it might be interesting for you to know which oil companies are the best to buy gas from and which major companies import Middle Eastern oil.
These companies import Middle Eastern oil:
Shell........................... 205,742,000 barrels
Chevron/Texaco......... 144,332,000 barrels
Exxon/Mobil............... 130,082,000 barrels
Marathon/Speedway... 117,740,000 barrels
Amoco............................62,231,000 barrels
Citgo gas is from South America , from a Dictator who hates Americans. If you do the math at $30/barrel, these imports amount to over $18 BILLION! (oil is now $90 - $100 a barrel
Here are some large companies that do not import Middle Eastern oil:
Sunoco..................0 barrels
Conoco................. .0 barrels
Sinclair..................0 barrels
BP/Phillips.............0 barrels
Hess......................0 barrels
ARC0.....................0 barrels
If you go to Sunoco.com
All of this information is available from the Department of Energy and each is required to state where they get their oil and how much they are importing.
But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of gas buyers. It's really simple to do.
Now, don't wimp out at this point.... keep reading and I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people!!
I'm sending this note to about thirty people. If each of you send it to at least ten more (30 x 10 = 300)...and those 300 send it to at least ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000) .. and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth generation of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers !!!!!!! If those three million get excited and pass this on to ten friends each, then 30 million people will have been contacted!
If it goes one level further, you guessed it ..... THREE HUND RED MILLION PEOPLE!!!
Again, all you have to do is send this to 10 people. How long would all that take?
Sincerely;
M.
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
I don't know what you guys are paying for gasoline.... but here in California we are also paying higher, up to $3.50 per gallon. But my line of work is in petroleum for about 31 years now, so here are some tricks to get more of your money's worth for every gallon..
Here at the Kinder Morgan Pipeline where I work in San Jose , CA we deliver about 4 million gallons in a 24-hour period thru the pipeline. One day is diesel the next day is jet fuel, and gasoline, regular and premium grades. We have 34-storage tanks here with a total capacity of 16,800,000 gallons.
Only buy or fill up your car or truck in the early morning when the ground temperature is still cold. Remember that all service stations have their storage tanks buried below ground. The colder the ground the more dense the gasoline, when it gets warmer gasoline expands, so buying in the afternoon or in the evening....your gallon is not exactly a gallon. In the petroleum business, the specific gravity and the temperature of the gasoline, diesel and jet fuel, ethanol and other petroleum products plays an important role.
A 1-degree rise in temperature is a big deal for this business. But the service stations do not have temperature compensation at the pumps.
When you're filling up do not squeeze the trigger of the nozzle to a fast mode. If you look you will see that the trigger has three (3)stages: low, middle, and high. In slow mode you should be pumping on low speed, thereby minimizing the vapors that are creat ed while you are pumping. All hoses at the pump have a vapor return. If you are pumping on the fast rate, some other liquid that goes to your tank becomes vapor. Those vapors are being sucked up and back into the underground storage tank so you're getting less worth for your money.
One of the most important tips is to fill up when your gas tank is HALF FULL or HALF EMPTY. The reason for this is, the more gas you have in your tank the less air occupying its empty space. Gasoline evaporates faster than you can imagine. Gasoline storage tanks have an internal floating roof. This roof serves as zero clearance between the gas and the atmosphere, so it minimizes the evaporation. Unlike service stations, here where I work, every truck that we load is temperature compensated so that every gallon is actually the exact amount.
Another reminder, if there is a gasoline truck pumping into the storage tanks when you stop to buy gas, DO NOT fill up--most likely the gasoline is being stirred up as the gas is being delivered, and you might pick up some of the dirt that normally settles on the bottom. Hope this will help you get the most value for your money.
DO SHARE THESE TIPS WITH OTHERS!
WHERE TO BUY USA GAS, THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO KNOW. READ ON
Gas rationing in the 80's worked even though we grumbled about it. It might even be good for us! The Saudis are boycotting American goods. We should return the favor.
An interesting thought is to boycott their GAS.
Every time you fill up the car, you can avoid putting more money into the coffers of Saudi Arabia . Just buy from gas companies that don't import their oil from the Saudis.
Nothing is more frustrating than the feeling that every time I fill-up the tank, I am sending my money to people who are trying to kill me, my family, and my friends.
I thought it might be interesting for you to know which oil companies are the best to buy gas from and which major companies import Middle Eastern oil.
These companies import Middle Eastern oil:
Shell........................... 205,742,000 barrels
Chevron/Texaco......... 144,332,000 barrels
Exxon/Mobil............... 130,082,000 barrels
Marathon/Speedway... 117,740,000 barrels
Amoco............................62,231,000 barrels
Citgo gas is from South America , from a Dictator who hates Americans. If you do the math at $30/barrel, these imports amount to over $18 BILLION! (oil is now $90 - $100 a barrel
Here are some large companies that do not import Middle Eastern oil:
Sunoco..................0 barrels
Conoco................. .0 barrels
Sinclair..................0 barrels
BP/Phillips.............0 barrels
Hess......................0 barrels
ARC0.....................0 barrels
If you go to Sunoco.com
All of this information is available from the Department of Energy and each is required to state where they get their oil and how much they are importing.
But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of gas buyers. It's really simple to do.
Now, don't wimp out at this point.... keep reading and I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people!!
I'm sending this note to about thirty people. If each of you send it to at least ten more (30 x 10 = 300)...and those 300 send it to at least ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000) .. and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth generation of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers !!!!!!! If those three million get excited and pass this on to ten friends each, then 30 million people will have been contacted!
If it goes one level further, you guessed it ..... THREE HUND RED MILLION PEOPLE!!!
Again, all you have to do is send this to 10 people. How long would all that take?
Sincerely;
M.
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Let's get things back into perspective here!
I get so downhearted when I run into people like the guy on the previous post.
I have, as one of my major flaws, very little patience with ignorance, (the classical ignorance, as in lack of knowledge) prejudice or intolerance.
This guy that wrote me a sweet little love note about my book that rambled on for sentence after sentence with utter disregard for grammar or logic. I got a whole lot of dogma that I am not even going to attempt to argue against, since first of all, not all that much of it made sense anyways, and secondly he is so mired in his ways that nothing I could say would have any impact on him.
The only thing that really caught my eye was the statement that Jesus had such an im-pact on the people around him that withing a few short years 500 souls were willing to sacrifice themselves for his cause.
Listen my friend, a lot of other prophets had as great or even greater impact on the populous of the time.............. they just didn't make it for the long haul.
And If you want to use deaths of adherents as your main yardstick then Jim Jones has got Christ beat by about 2 to 1!
Tomorrow.... why the 18 TERRORIST in Toronto got arrested for playing "Paintball!"
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://allans-perspective.blogspot.com
I have, as one of my major flaws, very little patience with ignorance, (the classical ignorance, as in lack of knowledge) prejudice or intolerance.
This guy that wrote me a sweet little love note about my book that rambled on for sentence after sentence with utter disregard for grammar or logic. I got a whole lot of dogma that I am not even going to attempt to argue against, since first of all, not all that much of it made sense anyways, and secondly he is so mired in his ways that nothing I could say would have any impact on him.
The only thing that really caught my eye was the statement that Jesus had such an im-pact on the people around him that withing a few short years 500 souls were willing to sacrifice themselves for his cause.
Listen my friend, a lot of other prophets had as great or even greater impact on the populous of the time.............. they just didn't make it for the long haul.
And If you want to use deaths of adherents as your main yardstick then Jim Jones has got Christ beat by about 2 to 1!
Tomorrow.... why the 18 TERRORIST in Toronto got arrested for playing "Paintball!"
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://allans-perspective.blogspot.com
Sunday, April 13, 2008
I love you Jesus, but I'm not so crazy about some of your followers
Product Description
Allan W. Janssen has published: "The Plain truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know)." God-101 presents a fascinating insight into how the original “cult” teachings of Jesus were altered by Greek philosophy, Pagan beliefs and Pauline thought to become the sayings of “The Christ,” and the basis of our modern Bible. God-101 gives an analysis of how the “priesthood” has corrupted Christianity and the other major religions. It shows how “Dogma” has led to the polarization of different sects within the same religion, (Catholic/Protestant – Shiite/Sunni) and how religious strife affects society as a whole, including the upcoming world - wide clash between Christianity and Islam! The book can be reviewed at http://www.God-101.com or http://groups.msn.com/God-101
From the Publisher
Book Description This book comes in two parts. The first half looks at how we as a civilization got to where we are now in our physical and spiritual development.
The second half allows us to take a long look at ourselves as a people. It examines our beliefs, and the practices of the "priesthood and organized religion," that has made our world here in the twenty first century the way it is!
This book has attempted to separate the fact of a "God" from the myths of humanity that have so shaped our lives.
Now,here we go!
The author, Allan W. Janssen, is seriously deprived of Biblical, historical, and archeological knowledge. God is not mocked, nor subject to personal views. The Dead Sea scrolls though not Christian, do produce a fact, Isaiah was written approx. 700 years before Christ, and are perfectly precise and accurate. Of course anyone who doesn't know, the Qumran(dead sea tribe) scrolls were found in the 1940's and have exact letter for letter manuscripts of Isaiah's prophecy of Christ! This is not, nor could be a "church" cover up. Before one does an undertaking to seriously mislead people as knowledgable, one MUST actually do their homework and make sure what they are stating is fact. The fcats we know are this: Pontius Pilate was a Roman Curator and governor, and did have Jesus from Nazareth crucified (Josephus, The Works of Josephus). Jesus of Nazareth was a human, whom did exist during the reigh of Herod the Tetarch (fact). After the crucifixion of Jesus, he was placed in a sealed tomb with a stone weighing close to 2 tons or more (fact) and placed under Roman elite guard (Josephus). Jesus of Nazareth did compel many, many people with diverse miracles (fact). Fact, the tomb is still empty! And of course one last fact, many many witness saw Jesus after the resurrection, close to 500 witnesses who went to their deaths, being burned alive, eaten alive, or tortured to death for their faith in the only One who can give salvation...why did they do this...fame? (I think not, Rome didn't like that)...legacy (I think not, they're dead)...Riches (no way, you can't take it with you)..then what? perhaps what they said is truth, they saw dead raised, sick healed, blind people see, deaf hear, and prophecies so long ago taught them totally true.
Think again Janssen.
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Allan W. Janssen has published: "The Plain truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know)." God-101 presents a fascinating insight into how the original “cult” teachings of Jesus were altered by Greek philosophy, Pagan beliefs and Pauline thought to become the sayings of “The Christ,” and the basis of our modern Bible. God-101 gives an analysis of how the “priesthood” has corrupted Christianity and the other major religions. It shows how “Dogma” has led to the polarization of different sects within the same religion, (Catholic/Protestant – Shiite/Sunni) and how religious strife affects society as a whole, including the upcoming world - wide clash between Christianity and Islam! The book can be reviewed at http://www.God-101.com or http://groups.msn.com/God-101
From the Publisher
Book Description This book comes in two parts. The first half looks at how we as a civilization got to where we are now in our physical and spiritual development.
The second half allows us to take a long look at ourselves as a people. It examines our beliefs, and the practices of the "priesthood and organized religion," that has made our world here in the twenty first century the way it is!
This book has attempted to separate the fact of a "God" from the myths of humanity that have so shaped our lives.
Now,here we go!
The author, Allan W. Janssen, is seriously deprived of Biblical, historical, and archeological knowledge. God is not mocked, nor subject to personal views. The Dead Sea scrolls though not Christian, do produce a fact, Isaiah was written approx. 700 years before Christ, and are perfectly precise and accurate. Of course anyone who doesn't know, the Qumran(dead sea tribe) scrolls were found in the 1940's and have exact letter for letter manuscripts of Isaiah's prophecy of Christ! This is not, nor could be a "church" cover up. Before one does an undertaking to seriously mislead people as knowledgable, one MUST actually do their homework and make sure what they are stating is fact. The fcats we know are this: Pontius Pilate was a Roman Curator and governor, and did have Jesus from Nazareth crucified (Josephus, The Works of Josephus). Jesus of Nazareth was a human, whom did exist during the reigh of Herod the Tetarch (fact). After the crucifixion of Jesus, he was placed in a sealed tomb with a stone weighing close to 2 tons or more (fact) and placed under Roman elite guard (Josephus). Jesus of Nazareth did compel many, many people with diverse miracles (fact). Fact, the tomb is still empty! And of course one last fact, many many witness saw Jesus after the resurrection, close to 500 witnesses who went to their deaths, being burned alive, eaten alive, or tortured to death for their faith in the only One who can give salvation...why did they do this...fame? (I think not, Rome didn't like that)...legacy (I think not, they're dead)...Riches (no way, you can't take it with you)..then what? perhaps what they said is truth, they saw dead raised, sick healed, blind people see, deaf hear, and prophecies so long ago taught them totally true.
Think again Janssen.
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Now I'm upset
First someone hacked into my computer and wrote a post and then I saw an add for Scientology, put there by Google
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Friday, April 11, 2008
Sorry Americans
Sorry; I just really don't like guns, all they do is kill things (like people)
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
PISS OF THE AMERICANS
I realy busy, I'm out of town and "doncha' know I'm outta sight" (Thank you James
Brown) BUT! I jusy heard an article on the CBC news that said Canada is going to require regiatration of ALL firearms. Won't this piss off the Americans!
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Brown) BUT! I jusy heard an article on the CBC news that said Canada is going to require regiatration of ALL firearms. Won't this piss off the Americans!
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
usup
Drin bak home from the coffee shop I had the most amzin revelation but now vthat I'm in front of the keyboard, do you think I can remember what it was? No way!
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Sunday Morning Funnies #36
Who said Scottish Romance is dead! These are REAL ADS from the Lonely-hearts column.
1. Grossly overweight Buckie turf-cutter, 42 years old and 23 stone, Gemini, seeks nimble sexpot, preferably South American, for tango sessions, candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming passion. Must have own car and be willing to travel. Box 09/08
2. Aberdeen man, 50, in desperate need of a ride. Anything considered. Box06/03
3. Heavy drinker, 35, Glasgow area, seeks gorgeous sex addict interested In pints, fags, Celtic football club and starting scraps on Sauchiehall Street at three in the morning. Box 73/82 .
4. Bitter, disillusioned Dundonian lately rejected by longtime fiancée seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches. Box /41
5. Ginger-haired Paisley troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shitty after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more. Box 84/87
6. Artistic Edinburgh woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the beach, writing poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice dishes. Seeks mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more as we bounce along like little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful crazy journey. Strong stomach essential Box 12/32
7. Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties will Include cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to office social functions. References required. No timewasters. Box 3/45
8. Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard living in a damp cottage in the arse end of Orkney seeks attractive 21-year old blonde lady with big chest. Box 40/27
9. Devil-worshiper, Stirling area, seeks like-minded lady for wining and dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks and slaughtering dogs in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon. Box 52/07
10. Attractive brunette, Maryhill area, winner of Miss Wrangler Competition at Frampton's Nightclub, Maryhill, in September 1978, Seeks nostalgic man who's not afraid to cry, for long nights spent comfort-drinking and listening to old Abba records. Please, Please! Box 30/41
11. Govan man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8pm and 11.30pm.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5 year old son playing with his new electric train in the living room.
She heard the train stop and her son saying, 'All you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now...cause this is the last stop!
And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train... cause we're going down the tracks.
The horrified mother went in and told her son, 'We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS.
When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train.
Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say... 'All passengers, please remember your things, thank you and hope your trip was a pleasant one.
We hope you will ride with us again soon.
She heard her little darling continue... 'For those of you just boarding, remember, there is no smoking in the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.'
As the mother began to smile, the child added, 'and for those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen.'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Parrot;
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.
The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.
The parrot yelled back.
John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.
John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was a total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the freezer door.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said 'I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.
I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.'
John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot why he had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird continued.
'May I ask what the turkey did?'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BLIND MAN IN A BIKER BAR
A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.
After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the server, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blond joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice the woman next to him says,'Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair -- given that you're blind -- that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blond girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blond girl.
3. I'm a 6 f oot tall, 175 lb. blond woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blond and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blond and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do y ou still wanna tell that joke?'
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head,and mutters,
'No... Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'
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At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue.
While he was checking the books, he turned to the Rabbi and said: 'I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?'
'Good question' noted the Rabbi. 'We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles.'
'Oh' replied the auditor (somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer; but on he went, in his obnoxious way): 'What about all these biscuit purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?'
'Ah, yes', replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying to
trap him with an unanswerable question. 'We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of holy biscuits'.
'I see' replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster
the know-it-all Rabbi. 'Well, Rabbi...' he went on '...what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?'
'Here, too, we do not waste' answered the Rabbi. 'What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and once a year they send us a complete prick'.
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
1. Grossly overweight Buckie turf-cutter, 42 years old and 23 stone, Gemini, seeks nimble sexpot, preferably South American, for tango sessions, candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming passion. Must have own car and be willing to travel. Box 09/08
2. Aberdeen man, 50, in desperate need of a ride. Anything considered. Box06/03
3. Heavy drinker, 35, Glasgow area, seeks gorgeous sex addict interested In pints, fags, Celtic football club and starting scraps on Sauchiehall Street at three in the morning. Box 73/82 .
4. Bitter, disillusioned Dundonian lately rejected by longtime fiancée seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches. Box /41
5. Ginger-haired Paisley troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shitty after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more. Box 84/87
6. Artistic Edinburgh woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the beach, writing poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice dishes. Seeks mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more as we bounce along like little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful crazy journey. Strong stomach essential Box 12/32
7. Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties will Include cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to office social functions. References required. No timewasters. Box 3/45
8. Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard living in a damp cottage in the arse end of Orkney seeks attractive 21-year old blonde lady with big chest. Box 40/27
9. Devil-worshiper, Stirling area, seeks like-minded lady for wining and dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks and slaughtering dogs in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon. Box 52/07
10. Attractive brunette, Maryhill area, winner of Miss Wrangler Competition at Frampton's Nightclub, Maryhill, in September 1978, Seeks nostalgic man who's not afraid to cry, for long nights spent comfort-drinking and listening to old Abba records. Please, Please! Box 30/41
11. Govan man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8pm and 11.30pm.
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A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5 year old son playing with his new electric train in the living room.
She heard the train stop and her son saying, 'All you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now...cause this is the last stop!
And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train... cause we're going down the tracks.
The horrified mother went in and told her son, 'We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS.
When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train.
Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say... 'All passengers, please remember your things, thank you and hope your trip was a pleasant one.
We hope you will ride with us again soon.
She heard her little darling continue... 'For those of you just boarding, remember, there is no smoking in the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.'
As the mother began to smile, the child added, 'and for those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen.'
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The Parrot;
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.
The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.
The parrot yelled back.
John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.
John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was a total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the freezer door.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said 'I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.
I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.'
John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot why he had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird continued.
'May I ask what the turkey did?'
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BLIND MAN IN A BIKER BAR
A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.
After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the server, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blond joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice the woman next to him says,'Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair -- given that you're blind -- that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blond girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blond girl.
3. I'm a 6 f oot tall, 175 lb. blond woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blond and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blond and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do y ou still wanna tell that joke?'
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head,and mutters,
'No... Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue.
While he was checking the books, he turned to the Rabbi and said: 'I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?'
'Good question' noted the Rabbi. 'We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles.'
'Oh' replied the auditor (somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer; but on he went, in his obnoxious way): 'What about all these biscuit purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?'
'Ah, yes', replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying to
trap him with an unanswerable question. 'We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of holy biscuits'.
'I see' replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster
the know-it-all Rabbi. 'Well, Rabbi...' he went on '...what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?'
'Here, too, we do not waste' answered the Rabbi. 'What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and once a year they send us a complete prick'.
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Sunday Stuff!
We have a big time "Asshole of the Week" award for you this time around!
Texas officials investigating a potential child abuse case said on Saturday 183 children and women had been removed from a ranch that is home to a breakaway Mormon sect linked to jailed polygamist leader Warren Jeffs.
Texas authorities descended on the ranch this week in response to allegations that a 50-year-old man there had married and fathered a child with an underage girl.
The ranch is a compound for the renegade Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, a polygamist group led by Jeffs until last year.
In November, Jeffs was sentenced in a Utah court to 10 years to life in prison as an accomplice to rape for forcing a 14-year-old girl to marry her 19-year-old first cousin.
He is in jail in Arizona awaiting trial on similar charges for arranged marriages there.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper is proclaiming victory at last week's NATO summit in Romania after securing allied reinforcements for Canadian troops in southern Afghanistan.
The French have apparently agreed to send in more troops, and the Poles have a few choppers to spare.
Any help wherever we can get it will no doubt come as a relief to our beleaguered Canadian forces fighting on the bloodiest front lines of the Afghan conflict, their casualty rates by far the highest of any NATO country with boots on the ground.
But hold the victory parade for either Harper or NATO.
Strip away the spin, and reality is the U.S. is coming to the rescue in a war that is increasingly difficult to disguise as anything but an American-led effort.
Truth is, most NATO countries have been dutifully serving the cause in Afghanistan only as long as they didn't have to do anything dangerous anywhere their troops might get blown up by roadside bombs, or shot by Taliban guns.
The Bucharest summit didn't change that.
Even the French, who supposedly answered Canada's call for help in the dangerous southern Kandahar region, have wimped out as usual and aren't actually going anywhere near the place and so win our award for "Loser of the Day."
Instead, French troops are being deployed to the less perilous eastern area of Afghanistan, supposedly to free up U.S. forces there to join the Canadian efforts in the south.
It's not as though the Americans are so short of manpower that they need to be spelled off by anyone. At last count, U.S. forces already account for well over 32,000 of the 44,000 soldiers from the several dozen NATO countries deployed in Afghanistan.
On top of that, another full expeditionary unit of 3,200 U.S. Marines is en route to Afghanistan to mount a major offensive over the next seven months, mainly in the south where Canadian troops are fighting.
It seems clear that the Harper and Bush administrations agreed months ago they would publicly try to push the European NATO countries into doing some of the heavy lifting in the southern Afghan battle zones.
Failing that, the U.S. would do whatever was necessary to keep Canada from withdrawing.
When Harper said he was confident a deal could be reached at Bucharest to meet Canada's needs, he likely wasn't talking about NATO. No sir, it was our Winners of the Day," the United States of America!
As was reported more than two months ago, even as John Manley's advisory group was releasing its January report recommending the reinforcements and equipment Canada would need to stay in Afghanistan, the U.S. military brass was in Ottawa arranging to provide it all.
Fact is, despite all the political talk of success in Bucharest last week, NATO isn't answering Canada's call, nor is France. The Yank's are. Period.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
Texas officials investigating a potential child abuse case said on Saturday 183 children and women had been removed from a ranch that is home to a breakaway Mormon sect linked to jailed polygamist leader Warren Jeffs. Texas authorities descended on the ranch this week in response to allegations that a 50-year-old man there had married and fathered a child with an underage girl.
The ranch is a compound for the renegade Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, a polygamist group led by Jeffs until last year.
In November, Jeffs was sentenced in a Utah court to 10 years to life in prison as an accomplice to rape for forcing a 14-year-old girl to marry her 19-year-old first cousin.
He is in jail in Arizona awaiting trial on similar charges for arranged marriages there.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper is proclaiming victory at last week's NATO summit in Romania after securing allied reinforcements for Canadian troops in southern Afghanistan.
The French have apparently agreed to send in more troops, and the Poles have a few choppers to spare.
Any help wherever we can get it will no doubt come as a relief to our beleaguered Canadian forces fighting on the bloodiest front lines of the Afghan conflict, their casualty rates by far the highest of any NATO country with boots on the ground.
But hold the victory parade for either Harper or NATO.
Strip away the spin, and reality is the U.S. is coming to the rescue in a war that is increasingly difficult to disguise as anything but an American-led effort.
Truth is, most NATO countries have been dutifully serving the cause in Afghanistan only as long as they didn't have to do anything dangerous anywhere their troops might get blown up by roadside bombs, or shot by Taliban guns.
The Bucharest summit didn't change that.
Even the French, who supposedly answered Canada's call for help in the dangerous southern Kandahar region, have wimped out as usual and aren't actually going anywhere near the place and so win our award for "Loser of the Day." Instead, French troops are being deployed to the less perilous eastern area of Afghanistan, supposedly to free up U.S. forces there to join the Canadian efforts in the south.
It's not as though the Americans are so short of manpower that they need to be spelled off by anyone. At last count, U.S. forces already account for well over 32,000 of the 44,000 soldiers from the several dozen NATO countries deployed in Afghanistan.
On top of that, another full expeditionary unit of 3,200 U.S. Marines is en route to Afghanistan to mount a major offensive over the next seven months, mainly in the south where Canadian troops are fighting.
It seems clear that the Harper and Bush administrations agreed months ago they would publicly try to push the European NATO countries into doing some of the heavy lifting in the southern Afghan battle zones.
Failing that, the U.S. would do whatever was necessary to keep Canada from withdrawing.
When Harper said he was confident a deal could be reached at Bucharest to meet Canada's needs, he likely wasn't talking about NATO. No sir, it was our Winners of the Day," the United States of America!
As was reported more than two months ago, even as John Manley's advisory group was releasing its January report recommending the reinforcements and equipment Canada would need to stay in Afghanistan, the U.S. military brass was in Ottawa arranging to provide it all. Fact is, despite all the political talk of success in Bucharest last week, NATO isn't answering Canada's call, nor is France. The Yank's are. Period.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com
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