I'm not even going to tell you what it's about.......... just watch!
Surprise!
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
HUMOR-101
This is funny!
THIS IS NOT!!!
Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at http://www.god-101.com/ and the blog "Perspective" at http://god-101.blogspot.com/
THIS IS NOT!!!
Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at http://www.god-101.com/ and the blog "Perspective" at http://god-101.blogspot.com/
Friday, July 13, 2007
Images that are "special"
Take a long hard look at the faces of these Washington men!
They live in the insular world of Washington. People that inhabit this world don't have a clue as to what the average American thinks!
Yet, these are the same men who are sitting around the "Iraq Study Group" and trying to figure out how the average Arab thinks and feels!!!
It's certainly no wonder things are so fucked up over there!
On a lighter note, I ran across this little gem I'd like to pass along.
I have absolutely no idea why I find this so funny, but I sure do!
Allan
They live in the insular world of Washington. People that inhabit this world don't have a clue as to what the average American thinks! Yet, these are the same men who are sitting around the "Iraq Study Group" and trying to figure out how the average Arab thinks and feels!!!
It's certainly no wonder things are so fucked up over there!
On a lighter note, I ran across this little gem I'd like to pass along.
I have absolutely no idea why I find this so funny, but I sure do!Allan
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Sunday, March 18, 2007
No more egg on your face.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, now even you can learn how to cook.
As long as you know how to boil water, science has taken care of the rest for you.
The
“British Egg Information Service” has developed a new self-timing egg that tells you when it’s cooked — using heat-sensitive ink.
The egg has a heat-sensitive ink that displays only when the correct temperature is reached, meaning when your egg is done. The eggs come in hard-boiled, medium, or soft varieties, meaning you have to buy the kind you want or else the ink is useless.
Your "what will they think of next" scribe;
Allan W Janssen
As long as you know how to boil water, science has taken care of the rest for you.
The “British Egg Information Service” has developed a new self-timing egg that tells you when it’s cooked — using heat-sensitive ink.
The egg has a heat-sensitive ink that displays only when the correct temperature is reached, meaning when your egg is done. The eggs come in hard-boiled, medium, or soft varieties, meaning you have to buy the kind you want or else the ink is useless.
Your "what will they think of next" scribe;
Allan W Janssen
Saturday, March 17, 2007
North Korea Develops "Nude Bomb"
You no doubt remember that 1980 movie "The Nude Bomb" which was taken from the T.V. show "Get Smart"
In the movie unknown terrorists developed a new type of bomb that destroys clothing, but leaves people unharmed. Agent Maxwell Smart (Don Adams) is taken out of retirement and sent back into the field to track down these madmen and put a stop to their plans.
Well science fiction has a strange way of becoming science fact.
North Korea has just announced that it finally developed a "Nude Bomb" and would not hesitate to use it against any aggressor.
This is a photo of Dear Leader Kim Jong-il, apparently relaxed and well satisfied after watching a test of the weapon.
He issued a statement saying that the "Bomb" would be deployed along the border with South Korea and attached to missiles aimed at Japan.
Japan, a very conservative country, is said to be deeply concerned about the possibility of it's citizens suddenly running around the streets naked and is implementing an emergency clothing stockpile.
Your " the bare facts" scribe;
Allan W Janssen
In the movie unknown terrorists developed a new type of bomb that destroys clothing, but leaves people unharmed. Agent Maxwell Smart (Don Adams) is taken out of retirement and sent back into the field to track down these madmen and put a stop to their plans.
Well science fiction has a strange way of becoming science fact.
North Korea has just announced that it finally developed a "Nude Bomb" and would not hesitate to use it against any aggressor.
This is a photo of Dear Leader Kim Jong-il, apparently relaxed and well satisfied after watching a test of the weapon. He issued a statement saying that the "Bomb" would be deployed along the border with South Korea and attached to missiles aimed at Japan.
Japan, a very conservative country, is said to be deeply concerned about the possibility of it's citizens suddenly running around the streets naked and is implementing an emergency clothing stockpile.
Your " the bare facts" scribe;
Allan W Janssen
Saturday Morning Confusion!
Here it is Saturday morning again and we have a wonderful bag of tricks for your amazment and delight.
First on the list is this little gem that any dog lover can't do without.
Diaper Harness for Doggies
The STA-ON diaper harness is used to keep diapers on dogs, whether young puppies, untrained adult dogs, or elderly incontinent dogs.
The idea is the invention of Dorrie Krenkel, who grew tired of diapers that kept falling off of her dachshund, Bucky.
The harness is intended to work with babies' diapers (you just poke a hole to pull the tail through), and you can get the harness in a variety of colors. They sell for $12.95 for the smallest size to $16.95 for the largest. "Puppy powder" for diaper rash is extra!
Shave Your Vagina in Sixty Seconds.
The "Bikini Line Genie" is billed as a protective shield that let's women shave their vaginas without fear of hurting the most sensitive areas, and prevents loose stubble from entering.
It works by tucking in between the labia majora to cover the more sensitive labia minora and clitoris, while blocking off the vaginal opening so no foreign material may enter.
It comes with illustrated instructions, may be used sitting or standing and works with any type or size of beaver.
FROM SALT LAKE CITY - SkyWest Airlines apologized yesterday to a passenger who said he wasn't allowed to use the restroom during a one-hour flight and ended up urinating in an air-sickness bag.
ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. - A 15-year-old girl who hiccuped her way through part of January and all of February is hiccuping once again. Jennifer Mee, who hiccuped close to 50 times each waking minute for more than five weeks starting Jan. 23, began hiccuping again Thursday morning after a nose bleed, said her mother, Rachel Robidoux. It occured during Mee's second day back at school since her first bout of hiccups stopped Feb. 28.
NEW YORK - A New York restaurateur has cooked up the most world's most extravagant pizza -- a $1,000 pizza topped with six sorts of caviar and fresh lobster.
Nino Selimaj, who runs six pizza restaurants in New York unveiled his Luxury Pizza, a 12 inch, thin crust topped with caviar, lobster, creme fraiche and chives. Cut into eight, it works out at $125 a slice.
"I know this won't be for everyone but there are people in New York who can afford it and once tried, they'll be back for more. It is delicious," said Selimaj, who moved to New York from Albania about 29 years ago.
"Sure, some people will say it is just a publicity stunt but I have researched this for over a year and think there is a demand. I have already sold one."
Selimaj said his restaurant Nino's Bellissima, which is the only one of his restaurants to offer the Luxury Pizza, needs 24 hours notice for the gourmet dish as it orders the caviar in advance. "But where better to experiment with pizza than in New York where people love their pizza," he said.
If diners are still peckish after the Luxury Pizza, they can always head over to the midtown restaurant Serendipity that sells a $1,000 ice-cream sundae called Golden Opulence which is covered in 23K edible gold leaf.
Your "all the news that fits" scribe;
Allan W Janssen
First on the list is this little gem that any dog lover can't do without.
Diaper Harness for Doggies
The STA-ON diaper harness is used to keep diapers on dogs, whether young puppies, untrained adult dogs, or elderly incontinent dogs.
The idea is the invention of Dorrie Krenkel, who grew tired of diapers that kept falling off of her dachshund, Bucky.The harness is intended to work with babies' diapers (you just poke a hole to pull the tail through), and you can get the harness in a variety of colors. They sell for $12.95 for the smallest size to $16.95 for the largest. "Puppy powder" for diaper rash is extra!
Shave Your Vagina in Sixty Seconds.
The "Bikini Line Genie" is billed as a protective shield that let's women shave their vaginas without fear of hurting the most sensitive areas, and prevents loose stubble from entering.
It works by tucking in between the labia majora to cover the more sensitive labia minora and clitoris, while blocking off the vaginal opening so no foreign material may enter.
It comes with illustrated instructions, may be used sitting or standing and works with any type or size of beaver.
FROM SALT LAKE CITY - SkyWest Airlines apologized yesterday to a passenger who said he wasn't allowed to use the restroom during a one-hour flight and ended up urinating in an air-sickness bag.
ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. - A 15-year-old girl who hiccuped her way through part of January and all of February is hiccuping once again. Jennifer Mee, who hiccuped close to 50 times each waking minute for more than five weeks starting Jan. 23, began hiccuping again Thursday morning after a nose bleed, said her mother, Rachel Robidoux. It occured during Mee's second day back at school since her first bout of hiccups stopped Feb. 28.
NEW YORK - A New York restaurateur has cooked up the most world's most extravagant pizza -- a $1,000 pizza topped with six sorts of caviar and fresh lobster.
Nino Selimaj, who runs six pizza restaurants in New York unveiled his Luxury Pizza, a 12 inch, thin crust topped with caviar, lobster, creme fraiche and chives. Cut into eight, it works out at $125 a slice.
"I know this won't be for everyone but there are people in New York who can afford it and once tried, they'll be back for more. It is delicious," said Selimaj, who moved to New York from Albania about 29 years ago.
"Sure, some people will say it is just a publicity stunt but I have researched this for over a year and think there is a demand. I have already sold one."
Selimaj said his restaurant Nino's Bellissima, which is the only one of his restaurants to offer the Luxury Pizza, needs 24 hours notice for the gourmet dish as it orders the caviar in advance. "But where better to experiment with pizza than in New York where people love their pizza," he said.
If diners are still peckish after the Luxury Pizza, they can always head over to the midtown restaurant Serendipity that sells a $1,000 ice-cream sundae called Golden Opulence which is covered in 23K edible gold leaf.
Your "all the news that fits" scribe;
Allan W Janssen
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Eureka!!!
O.K. boys and girls, one of life's most baffling mysteries has just been solved by your humble scribe!
The Misses Herself told me today that I should do more around the house, and from now on I whould be doing my own laundry since she does all the cooking for the both of us. {I've got her believing that I don't even know how to boil water}
While sitting in the laundry room waiting for the dry cycle to end I started thinking about that age old problem of the missing socks after doing laundry. (No matter how carefully you check the machine for leftovers.)
Interest aroused, I started doing some research into this mystery and believe I have developed a plausible theory on what happens to them.
We all know about the static "cling" that develops in the dryer and I now believe this static electricity sometimes surges and takes a sock and flips it into a different dimension.
As the electrical charge gradually diminishes they flip back into this universe but for some unknown reason they are transformed and come back as all those extra hangers in your closet!!
That's why we always have too many hangers and not enough socks.
Just so you know.
Your "enquiring mind" scribe;
Allan W Janssen
Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) www.God-101.com
The Misses Herself told me today that I should do more around the house, and from now on I whould be doing my own laundry since she does all the cooking for the both of us. {I've got her believing that I don't even know how to boil water}
While sitting in the laundry room waiting for the dry cycle to end I started thinking about that age old problem of the missing socks after doing laundry. (No matter how carefully you check the machine for leftovers.) Interest aroused, I started doing some research into this mystery and believe I have developed a plausible theory on what happens to them.
We all know about the static "cling" that develops in the dryer and I now believe this static electricity sometimes surges and takes a sock and flips it into a different dimension.
As the electrical charge gradually diminishes they flip back into this universe but for some unknown reason they are transformed and come back as all those extra hangers in your closet!!
That's why we always have too many hangers and not enough socks.
Just so you know.
Your "enquiring mind" scribe;
Allan W Janssen
Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) www.God-101.com
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Last Laugh, or, He Bought the Farm!
Ever have one of those days where you are just driving along and see something that makes you slam on your brakes and say "why didn't I have my camera here!"
This is one of them.
I was driving past a new subdivision on the edge of London (Ont) that had really expensive homes (Mansion size) when among them I saw a small simple house for sale.
I couldn't believe the contrast and said to a guy walking along the road,..... "poor guy is being forced out because he's embarrassed by his small house in such an expensive neighborhood eh!"
He turns to me and said; "I'm the guy, and these people are each paying me many, many times what I originally paid for the entire farm!"
Your scribe'
Allan W Janssen
This is one of them.
I was driving past a new subdivision on the edge of London (Ont) that had really expensive homes (Mansion size) when among them I saw a small simple house for sale.
I couldn't believe the contrast and said to a guy walking along the road,..... "poor guy is being forced out because he's embarrassed by his small house in such an expensive neighborhood eh!"
He turns to me and said; "I'm the guy, and these people are each paying me many, many times what I originally paid for the entire farm!"
Your scribe'
Allan W Janssen
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
CAN'T BEAT THIS!
Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) www.God-101.com
Monday, January 22, 2007
SORRY!
Sorry, but I don't have a thing today!
Absolutely nothing struck me as funny, disgusting or stupid!
Maybe it's me, maybe it's Monday, or maybe the whole world decided to be normal for once, which I doubt!
So - it's gotta be me***********!
Whether I'm right or whether I'm wrong.
Whether I find a place in this world or never belong!
I gotta be me, I've gotta be me.
What else can I be but that what I am.
I'll go it alone, that's how it must be!
I can't be right for somebody else,
If I'm not right for me!
I gotta be free, I've gotta be free,
Daring to try, to do it or die,
I've gotta be me............................................................!
.............................................sorry, I got carried away!)
Your "Speechless" Scribe;
Allan W Janssen
Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) www.God-101.com
Absolutely nothing struck me as funny, disgusting or stupid!
Maybe it's me, maybe it's Monday, or maybe the whole world decided to be normal for once, which I doubt!
So - it's gotta be me***********!
Whether I'm right or whether I'm wrong.
Whether I find a place in this world or never belong!
I gotta be me, I've gotta be me.
What else can I be but that what I am.
I'll go it alone, that's how it must be!
I can't be right for somebody else,
If I'm not right for me!
I gotta be free, I've gotta be free,
Daring to try, to do it or die,
I've gotta be me............................................................!
.............................................sorry, I got carried away!)
Your "Speechless" Scribe;
Allan W Janssen
Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) www.God-101.com
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Ultimate Christmas Lights.
There are Christmas lights, and then there are CHRISTMAS LIGHTS!
Click on this link, crank up the sound and be amazed!
Ultimate Christmas Lights
Allan
Click on this link, crank up the sound and be amazed!Ultimate Christmas Lights
Allan
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Sour Grapes
A duck goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?"
The bartender says, "No. This is a bar and we don't sell grapes."
The duck leaves.
The next day, the duck goes back to the bar and asks, "Got any grapes?" The bartender says, "I told you yesterday. This is a bar and we don't sell grapes."
The following day, the duck returns and asks,"Got any grapes?" The bartender loses it, grabs the duck by the neck and yells, "I already told you twice! This is a bar! I don't have any grapes!
If you ask me again, I'll nail your beak to the floor!"
The next day, the duck goes in the bar and asks, "Got any nails?"
The bartender sighs and says, "No, we don't have any nails."
The duck says, "Good! Got any grapes?"
The bartender says, "No. This is a bar and we don't sell grapes."
The duck leaves.
The next day, the duck goes back to the bar and asks, "Got any grapes?" The bartender says, "I told you yesterday. This is a bar and we don't sell grapes."
The following day, the duck returns and asks,"Got any grapes?" The bartender loses it, grabs the duck by the neck and yells, "I already told you twice! This is a bar! I don't have any grapes!
If you ask me again, I'll nail your beak to the floor!"
The next day, the duck goes in the bar and asks, "Got any nails?"
The bartender sighs and says, "No, we don't have any nails."
The duck says, "Good! Got any grapes?"
Monday, November 27, 2006
Some things you can do to bug a cat!
If this doesn't bug any cat enough I'm sure you could think of something better, just send it in!(Doesn't look very happy, does he?)
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Borat in space.
The Expedition 13 crew have returned from the International Space Station to Earth --specifically, the dry steppes of Kazakhstan, where they landed Thursday night local time in a Soyuz TMA 8 spacecraft. In the NASA image above, from left: Flight Engineer Anousheh Ansari, Commander Pavel Vinogradov and space tourist Borat who accompanied Expedition 13 crew members.
Just a few minutes before this photo was taken, they were extracted from their Soyuz capsule after landing on the Russian steppes.
Expedition 13 was up there for six months, and a NASA report says their tasks included ..."the arrival of two space shuttle missions, resumption of construction of the orbiting laboratory and the restoration of a three-member crew."
They'll now spend a few weeks in Star City, near Moscow, for debriefing, medical exams and rumba lessons.
One a day vitamins!!!!
I have no idea what's going on with these pills, all I know is that there are one hell of a lot of people taking them! I would even bet they are doing a lot more than one-a-day!Of course, it does explain a lot about the state this world is in!
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