My Photo

Middle aged heterosexual, WASP male. Semi retired, semi-sane and semi-serious. And endangered species and I'm not going quietly!!!!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Dating Game

My wife is from Scotland so aside from learning how to speak Scottish I have also come to appreciate the Scots sense of humour.

In typical Glaswegian manner even the lonely hearts advertisements have a distinctive brand of Scottish pragmatism combined with an off-the-wall outlook on life.

Here are a few examples of actual ads in a Glasgow paper. Whether they are on the level or not is rather irrelevant.

*Grossly overweight Buckie turf-cutter, 42 years old and 23 stone, (320 lbs.) Gemini, seeks nimble sex-pot, preferably South American, for tango sessions, candlelit dinnrs and humid nights of screaming passion. Must have own car and be willing to travel. Box 457

*Aberdeen man, 50, in desperate need of a "ride," anything considered. Box 34

*Glasgow area man, 35, heavy drinker, seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in pints, fags, (smokes) Celtic football club and starting scraps on Argyle Street at three in the morning. Box 201

*Bitter, disillusioned Dunedian lately rejected by longtime fiance seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in the cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches. Box 104

*Ginger-haired troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shitty after a few. Seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more. Box 257

*Artistic Edinburgh woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the beach, writing poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice dishes. Seeks mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more as we bounce along like little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful crazy journey. Strong stomach essential. Box 122

*Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties will include cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to office social functions. References required. No timewasters. Box 167

*Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard living in a damp cottage in the arse end of the Orkney's, seeks attractive 21-year old blonde lady with big chest. Box 288

*Devil-worshiper, Stirling area, seeks like-minded lady for wining and dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks and slaughtering dogs in cemetaries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon. Box 666

*Attractive brunette, Maryhill area, winner of Miss Wrangler competition at Frampton 92's nightclub, Maryhill area in September 1978. Seeks nostalgic man who's not afraid to cry for long nights spent comfort-drinking and listening to old Abba records. Please, Please. Box 283

*Govan man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8 p.m. and 11:30 p.m. Box 177

*Cullen man, mid twenties, seeks nubile young lady for cooking, cleaning and fornication contract. Must be prepared to ba a live-in and have a strong knowledge of local dialect. Oh, and big tits! Box 192

And you thought dating was rough where you live!

Labels: , ,

Friday, November 17, 2006

Oh, to be young and foolish!

I don't think this requires too much in the way of comment!

WICHITA, Kan. (AP) - A botched kidnapping ended with one of the assailants shooting himself in the groin, police said.

The man had just stuck the gun in his waistband when it fired, shooting him in the left testicle, authorities said. He cringed, causing the gun to fire again and strike him in the left calf, they said.

The 23-year-old man managed to walk into a hospital for treatment. He and his two alleged accomplices, ages 18 and 20, were arrested on attempted kidnapping charges.

They were accused of trying to kidnap a teenager in a dispute over stereo speakers.

Labels: , , ,

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Guest Post - Michael Coren

Note: Michael Coren is a broadcaster with CFRB in Toronto and a writer for the National Post amongst other media endeavours.

I have a lot of respect for the guy and this is one of the reasons why.

Michael Coren, National Post
Published: Friday, November 03, 2006

Dr. Tawfik Hamid doesn't tell people where he lives. Not the street, not the city, not even the country. It's safer that way. It's only the letters of testimony from some of the highest intelligence officers in the Western world that enable him to move freely.

This medical doctor, author and activist once was a member of Egypt's Al-Gama'a al-Islamiyya (Arabic for "the Islamic Group"), a banned terrorist organization. He was trained under Ayman al-Zawahiri, the bearded jihadi who appears in Bin Laden's videos, telling the world that Islamic violence will stop only once we all become Muslims.

He's a disarmingly gentle and courteous man. But he's determined to tell a complacent North America what he knows about fundamentalist Muslim imperialism.

"Yes, 'imperialism,' " he tells me. "The deliberate and determined expansion of militant Islam and its attempt to triumph not only in the Islamic world but in Europe and North America. Pure ideology.

Muslim terrorists kill and slaughter not because of what they experience but because of what they believe."

Hamid drank in the message of Jihadism while at medical school in Cairo, and devoted himself to the cause. His group began meeting in a small room. Then a larger one. Then a Mosque reserved for followers of al-Zawahiri. By the time Hamid left the movement, its members were intimidating other students who were unsympathetic.

He is now 45 years old, and has had many years to reflect on why he was willing to die and kill for his religion. "The first thing you have to understand is that it has nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with poverty or lack of education," he says. "I was from a middle-class family and my parents were not religious. Hardly anyone in the movement at university came from a background that was different from mine.

"I've heard this poverty nonsense time and time again from Western apologists for Islam, most of them not Muslim by the way. There are millions of passive supporters of terror who may be poor and needy but most of those who do the killing are wealthy, privileged, educated and free.

If it were about poverty, ask yourself why it is middle-class Muslims -- and never poor Christians -- who become suicide bombers in Palestine."

His analysis is fascinating. Muslim fundamentalists believe, he insists, that Saudi Arabia's petroleum-based wealth is a divine gift, and that Saudi influence is sanctioned by Allah. Thus the extreme brand of Sunni Islam that spread from the Kingdom to the rest of the Islamic world is regarded not merely as one interpretation of the religion but the only genuine interpretation.

The expansion of violent and regressive Islam, he continues, began in the late 1970s, and can be traced precisely to the growing financial clout of Saudi Arabia.

"We're not talking about a fringe cult here," he tells me. "Salafist [fundamentalist] Islam is the dominant version of the religion and is taught in almost every Islamic university in the world.

It is puritanical, extreme and does, yes, mean that women can be beaten, apostates killed and Jews called pigs and monkeys."

He leans back, takes a deep breath and moves to another area, one that he says is far too seldom discussed: "North Americans are too squeamish about discussing the obvious sexual dynamic behind suicide bombings.

If they understood contemporary Islamic society, they would understand the sheer sexual tension of Sunni Muslim men.

Look at the figures for suicide bombings and see how few are from the Shiite world. Terrorism and violence yes, but not suicide. The overwhelming majority are from Sunnis.

Now within the Shiite world there are at least what is known as temporary marriages, lasting anywhere from an hour to 95 years. It enables men to release their sexual frustrations.

"Islam condemns extra-marital sex as well as masturbation, which is also taught in the Christian tradition. But Islam also tells of unlimited sexual ecstasy in paradise with beautiful virgins for the martyr who gives his life for the faith."

Don't for a moment underestimate this blinding passion or its influence on those who accept fundamentalism."

A pause. "I know. I was one who accepted it."

This partial explanation is shocking more for its banality than its horror. Mass murder provoked partly by simple lust. But it cannot be denied that letters written by suicide bombers frequently dwell on waiting virgins and sexual gratification.

"The sexual aspect is, of course, just one part of this. But I can tell you what it is not about. Not about Israel, not about Iraq, not about Afghanistan. They are mere excuses.

Algerian Muslim fundamentalists murdered 150,000 other Algerian Muslims, sometimes slitting the throats of children in front of their parents. Are you seriously telling me that this was because of Israel's treatment of the Palestinians or American foreign policy?"

He's exasperated now, visibly angry at what he sees as a willful Western foolishness. "Stop asking what you have done wrong. Stop it! They're slaughtering you like sheep and you still look within. You criticize your history, your institutions, your churches. Why can't you realize that it has nothing to do with what you have done but with what they want."

Then he leaves -- for where, he cannot say. A voice that is silenced in its homeland and too often ignored by those who prefer convenient revision to disturbing truth. The tragedy is that Tawfik Hamid is almost used to it.

- Michael Coren is an author and broadcaster. www.michaelcoren.com

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) at; www.God-101.com
And the petition to have people mind their own business instead of yours at; http://www.petitiononline.com/moses/petition.html

Labels: , , , , , , , ,

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Never give an inch!

Good old right-wing Republicans in the U.S.of A.
They just NEVER give up.
This is a mural of "Adam and Eve" on the wall of a Babtist Church somewhere in the Southern Sates.

Check out Adam. Who does it remind you of?

Labels: , ,

Monday, November 13, 2006

Got a steel plate in your head?

It's a well known phrase but what makes this head so remarkable is that all the major parts are made of actual pieces used in re-constructive surgery.

Labels: ,

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Short, sweet and straight to the point!

My wife's cousin is a Jehovah's Witness and she never stops trying to slip religion in when she phones.

My wife has developed cancer and today asked her cousin to pray for her and the reply was that they didn't pray for other people, except to pray that they become Witnesses as well.

These people believe that they are the ONLY ones going to "Heaven" and everyone else is damned.

As if this wasn't bad enough my wife says that the Witnesses (according to her cousin) actually drive around in the best neighbourhoods and pick what house they want to live in when everybody is sent to hell and they are left with "Heaven on Earth!"

I called her cousin and told her never to phone here again!!!!!!!!

Your pissed scribe;
Allan W Janssen

Labels: ,