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Middle aged heterosexual, WASP male. Semi retired, semi-sane and semi-serious. And endangered species and I'm not going quietly!!!!

Saturday, March 22, 2008

A Quote from GOD!


Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site http://www.god-101.com/

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Just so the Jews don't feel left out at Easter!


Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Food For Thought!

This important bulletin just came into the "Perspective" newsroom from AP and CNN!

CHICAGO, Illinois (AP) -- Two sisters from Virginia sold their Illinois-shaped cornflake on eBay Friday night for $1,350.

"We were biting our nails all the way up to the finish, seeing what would happen," said Melissa McIntire, 23. "There's a lot of relief involved."

The winner of the auction, which lasted more than a week, is the owner of a trivia Web site who wants to add the cornflake to a traveling museum.

"We're starting a collection of pop culture and Americana items," said Monty Kerr of Austin, Texas. "We thought this was a fantastic one."

Kerr owns TriviaMania.com and said he will likely send someone to Virginia to pick up the flake by hand, so it won't be damaged.

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Saturday Morning Confusion. # 5

Since this is Easter weekend, it's time to pick on the Christians.

I am confused as hell by all the religious nuts who would let themselves be nailed to a cross just because some guy was killed that way 2000 years ago.

Is the whole world nuts?

Here we go again with a story from the Philippines!

Philippine devotees re-enacted Jesus Christ's suffering Friday by having themselves nailed to crosses. (I do have to admit that the Catholic Church has matured somewhat because these rites are now frowned upon by church leaders in Asia's largest predominantly Roman Catholic nation.)

This means our current chump is a double-play winner of the "Looser of the Week" trophy" and also the "Asshole of the day" award.

Fernando Mamangon, 37, was among the first of some 30 men scheduled to go through the Good Friday rites in three villages in northern Pampanga province's San Fernando city.

Five other devotees, including a woman, were nailed to crosses in nearby Bulacan province. (What the hell, let's have a gang-hang and nominate all 30 of them for these awards. Come on folks, let's hear it for them!!!!!!)

It was Mamangon's 13th straight year for the rite, which penitents endure to fulfill a vow or pray for a cure for illnesses.

"I started having myself nailed to the cross in 1995 because my eldest son got sick and almost died," Mamangon, clad in a maroon robe with a crown of vines and thorns, said minutes before he was nailed to a wooden cross on a dusty mound in Santa Lucia village.

He said his eldest son was cured of complications from measles, but his 5-year-old son Alex still suffers from a stomach ailment.

On Wednesday, Archbishop Paciano B. Aniceto of San Fernando city urged devotees not to turn Holy Week into a "circus."

Aniceto said he has been telling penitents "to take time to thank God for the blessings and never use their devotion for tourism purposes."

The yearly tradition has become a tourist attraction, especially in San Fernando's San Pedro Cutud village, which sometimes draws thousands of local and foreign tourists.

Aside from the cross nailing, scores of men pound their bleeding bare backs with bamboo sticks dangling from ropes in a flagellation rite meant to atone for sins.

Aniceto lamented that a surge of vendors and tourists has injected too much commercialism into Holy Week celebrations.

But Mamangon vowed to continue with the practice handed down by his late father, who was nailed to the cross 15 times.

"After being nailed to the cross, I feel so refreshed, like all my sins are washed away," Mamangon said. "I will continue this until my son Alex is cured."

Ain't faith grand?

(On a side note; I am really glad that Christ wasn't crucified in the twentieth century. Otherwise we would all be walking around with little, wee electric chairs hanging on a chain around our neck!)

NOW! We are going to take a test to see just how good a Christian some of you folks are......!

Answer these questions as truthfully as possible.

(By the way, these are the only things you need to get into the "Church of Allan!")

1. Trying to keep the Ten Commandments.
2. Gifts to charity
3. Doing your best.
4. Living a good life.
5. Good works.
6. Trying to obey the Golden Rule.
7. Giving money to the church. (VERY IMPORTANT!)
8. Being Ecologically responsible.
9. Confirmation.
10. Prayers.

OK, how many did you get? 5? 7? All 10?

DON'T MATTER, YOU'RE SCREWED UNLESS YOU FOLLOW THE CHURCH RULES;

You don't have to do a God Damned thing except believe what the Christian Church feeds you.

"NO! None of these things can save you stupid! You can do nothing to earn eternal life.

It is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ alone that can save you.

The way to have eternal life is not found in what we do ourselves, but by having a perfect righteousness given to us.

We receive this when we believe the Lord Jesus Christ took our sins on Himself and paid for them by His death on the cross."


So there you have it boys and girls, you don't have to do ANYTHING!

It's a no fuss, no bother religion that fits in with our easy living lifestyle.

Screw up your life all you want because you can go to church on Sunday and have it all forgiven so that you can go out Monday morning and do it all over again.

If Jesus knew what his teachings have been turned into he would spin in his grave!

(And for all this we can thank Paul, because he is the actual originator of Christianity and just used Jesus as a stage prop!)

Your "Let's put things back into perspective here!" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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The Church of Allan - The Plain Truth About God

A serialization of the book, The Plain Truth About God.

Chapter 12. Thanks for the Meme-ories!


One of the great advantages offered by the Bible in replicating itself is a unique variety of strategies that will insure its survival. This method of self-preservation is closely associated with our whole enterprise of human culture.

This, in its simplest terms is a method of fending off the threat of death.

It is a survival mechanism that has found a way of promising survival in the face of the inevitability of individual death.

In other words, the individual may die, but we have immortality expressed as a soul continuing in lock step with the culture that nourished it.

Being a faithful follower of a religious group, our duty is to then to ensure our own survival by enhancing the long-term prospects for continuation of our beliefs and way of life.

In other words, the afterlife of the believer is strictly tied to the continuity of the Meme pool (or community) within that faith.

This strategy is offered to the reader of the biblical text, along with a stern warning on the likely outcome of failing to abide by the word of the text. (Hell!)

This is aligned to a particular set of strategies that reinforce the integrity of the biblical text and maintain continuity and cultural identity by filtering out undesirable interlopers.

The bible has within itself powerful instructions that re-enforce its own unique worth and the limits to be placed on foreign information or texts into the communities that propagate it.

The whole process of canonization for instance, reveals a complex interaction between the text and the community that it serves.

The propagation of the text and the founding of new communities to spread the text are linked to the survival of the reader and his or her own community (Meme-pool).

The Hebrew and Christian Bible, and the Koran, are full of admonitions about the duty to hand down their teachings, and by implication their text, to the next generation.

Secondly, the text contains a strong message of evangelization. The survival of the reader’s community depends on the production of new texts and new communities. This complex of strategies forms a powerful ensemble to ensure the accurate transmission of the text.

Communities based on the bible have a strong interest in conserving it unchanged.
Paradoxically, from the point of view of the bible itself however, its ability to adapt to new communities is an essential part of its success.

The fact that so much human ingenuity has been expended on ensuring that the bible does not change, and that such mutations have at times been physically rooted out, merely goes to show how strong the pressure is to mutate, and its potential for evolution.

After all, the interests of the text and those of its nurturing community may not always coincide, but since the Meme (text) can be considered symbiotic, rather than parasitic, its co-operation with its host ensures a mutual benefit.

Let me give you an example of this:

“The Bible is full of so many stories of a contradictory nature and moral purpose that every generation can find scriptural justification for nearly any action it proposes, from incest, to slavery and mass murder, to the most refined love, courage and self-sacrifice. Indeed, this has surely contributed to its survival.”
-Carl Sagan


A book to which both the Apartheid regime of South Africa and its most fervent opponents could turn to justify their positions may not offer simple moral precepts, but does ensure that both sides will own their own copies!

For the survival of “The Book,” its amazing capacity to sustain opposing camps is a very successful strategy.

The Bible contains more information than any one community can readily assimilate, especially as it may seems mutually contradictory or impossible to apply in a given situation.

What happens then is the formation of a canon within the canon where the community opts to read and follow a particular smaller set of instructions, read with its own particular interpretive slant.

This is an existence bound up with the identity, adaptability and continuity that the Bible confers.

Conversely, that continuity is bound up with, and depends upon, the continued existence of the Bible.

The community of readers sees it as its duty to ensure the survival of the book, but more than this, it sees the book as the guarantor of its own continuity and survival.

The book itself contains a whole array of strategies for survival, and in particular, is the record of an amazing feat of cultural continuity among the widely divergent communities of Jews.

They managed to retain a sense of themselves as Israelites and members of one “Meme-pool” or culture, protected by firm filters from external contamination.

Despite the evidence of all that might have led to its dissolution and destruction, the community has maintained itself……...! In addition, the text is also preserved!

Daniel Dennett, in his book Consciousness Explained, says this: “The haven that all Memes depend on reaching is the human mind. But a human mind is itself an artifact created when Memes restructure a human brain in order to make it a better habitat for themselves.

The avenues of entry and departure are modified to suit local conditions, and are strengthened by various artificial means to enhance fidelity in replication!”

Susan Blackmore, (The Meme Machine) has pointed out that many religious beliefs exemplify Memic selection, especially those that advocate spreading “The Message.”

To quote Susan Blackmore: “Although old minds differ from young minds, and male minds differ from female minds, what Memes provide is an easily transferable store of advantages.”

In this context Christianity, Islam and Judaism are highly successful Memes.
Through the idea of a father-like God, they offer a sense of purpose, of security, and of belonging that is familiar and attractive to all humans.

At the social level, they provide cultural identity, legitimize social structures, and sanctify moral codes.

Like all good Memes, the religious ones protect themselves in various ways.

First they place absolute reliance on faith, which precludes any introduction of reason that would be detrimental to the Meme.

Secondly, they also have a naturally embedded “catch 22” situation.

** “This Meme says it is the Divine truth; so whatever it says must be true! Therefore it must be Divine truth because it says so and all competing memes must be the work of the devil!”

Upon detailed analysis of Memes, we usually see the following features that help it establish itself in the minds of its host.

1. Promise heaven for belief!

2. Threaten eternal punishment for disbelief!

3. Boost the believer’s egos by telling them they are “chosen” or “superior” to believers of false memes!

4. Disable the means to disbelieve by claiming that faith is superior to reason!

5. Establish itself as the “One True Meme,” usually by some sort of holy book containing catch 22 situations. (circular logic)

** “This Religion” is the one true religion.

We know “This Religion” is the one true religion because God has approved only “This Religion.”

God has approved “This Religion” because “This Religion” contains statements that say so!

Therefore we know what “This Religion” says is true because “This Religion” is the one true religion.


Most religions teach that they are the one true path to salvation and all unbelievers are cast into hell.

This is a doctrine known as exclusivist, and unfortunately, certain sects of Christianity went to great lengths to claim that they were the one true faith and the other denominations of Christianity were corrupt, (or even in league with the Anti-Christ).


To this day “Extra Ecclesiam Nulla Salus” (No salvation outside our Church) is still the official doctrine of the Catholic Church.

Now once it has established itself in the mind of its host, (congregation) a Meme needs to propagate itself.

Therefore, a successful Meme will contain instructions for some or all of the following:

A. Holy War - convert or kill all non-believers

B. Intimidation - threaten and discriminate against unbelievers!

C. Social isolation or “death to apostates.”

D. Encourage believers to breed faster than believers in false Memes!

E. Dis-information - spread lies about rival Memes. Demonize them.

F. The bigger the lie the more likely it is to be believed!

Now here comes the good part—we have had many centuries, even millennia, to perfect this way of thinking and have it down to a science.

(Not an “Art,” it is now at the point where it is a “Science.”)

These two types of self-referential statements, “propagate me” and “I am the only truth” provide the driving force for Memes to invade the minds of their hosts and spread throughout susceptible populations.

In addition, all religious Memes contain the instructions “help people who believe in this Meme, attack people who do not!”

And there you have it; an instant recipe for religious war!

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Friday, March 21, 2008

Shroud of Turin, AGAIN

You have to admire the religious nuts for one thing! The son-of-a-bitches never give up!!!

Barrie Schwortz, the photographer who documented the original Shroud of Turin Project, told TODAY’s Matt Lauer in a Good Friday interview in New York, “The result of the first test done in 1988 was almost an embarrassment at one point. Now that we’re 20 years later, the technology certainly has improved.”

In other words, he wants to beat a dead horse by saying that the technology is so much better now that scientists will realize they made a MISTAKE and prove the religious guys right. (After all, they must be right, they have God on their side!)

You will remember that in 1978, the keepers of the shroud at the Cathedral of St. John the Baptist in Turin, Italy, allowed scientists to examine it closely.

A small piece was snipped from a corner and divided into three samples that were sent to laboratories to be dated by radiocarbon analysis. In 1988, the labs reported that the cloth dated back to no earlier than 1290 A.D. In other words; a FAKE!

Since then, various religious groups dedicated to research on the relic have argued that the tests were done hastily and were flawed for a number of reasons.

(Could they let it go? Noooo!)

One argument holds that the fabric snipped for testing was taken from a patch added to the shroud by nuns who repaired it after it was damaged in a fire in 1532.

Another holds that scientists did not consider whether the long-ago fire altered the chemical makeup of the carbon in the linen, which could have skewed the date, and finally, the segment tested may have been otherwise contaminated.

“The shroud has been handled so many times. It’s been displayed publicly. It has been hung from a balcony for public display, so the opportunity for contamination to settle on the cloth is high.

Also, remember it’s been burned in fires; the heating of the cloth could have contributed to the contamination,” Schwortz told Lauer. “There really are a spate of reasons why that might have occurred, and I think that’s why we’re concerned about it now.”
NO kids, the tests were not wrong and there is no need to go over the whole thing again since it only has to be proven once, not over and over until the faithful get what they hope will be a favourable result.

This is so typical of religious convictions. People refuse to believe in anything but their own dogma in spite of any amount of evidence. It's no wonder that some of the faithful run around thinking the world is only 7000 years old and even some who still think the world is flat!!!!!

They make the people who claim the moon landings were fake look like geniuses in comparison

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Can Money buy happiness?

Research to be published in the journal Science today proves the scientific grounds behind the adage "it's emotionally better to give than to receive," said Elizabeth Dunn, a psychologist at the University of British Columbia.

The researchers ran three experiments to measure how happy people felt after either spending money on themselves, or giving money to pro-social causes such as buying someone a meal or a charitable donation.

"We found that people who reported spending more money on others were happier," said Dunn, lead author of the study co-authored by master's student Lara Aknin and Michael Norton of the Harvard Business School.

Dunn said previous studies found a correlation between happiness and charitable giving, but the new research revealed that pro-social giving is an actual cause of happiness. "We provide the evidence for this idea that's been around for a while," Dunn told AFP.

The first study simply measured how happy 630 people said they felt, rated on a scale of one to five, after they either spent money on themselves or gave to others.

Those who "gave" reported being happier.

The second study measured the change in happiness of workers at a company after they spent a profit-sharing bonus of between 3,000 dollars and 8,000 dollars.

"Those who spent more of their bonus on pro-social spending were happier," said Dunn, with the difference between spending none of the bonus on others compared to spending one-third on others showing a full 20 percent increase in happiness.

What affected happiness, she added, "was not so much the size of the bonus but how they spent it ... the message is not that people should get high-paying jobs to earn as much as possible and spend it on others."

In the third experiment, university students in Vancouver were given either five dollars or 20 dollars and instructed to spend the money that same day. Half were told to spend the money on themselves, while the rest were told to treat others. At the end of the day, students who spent their money on others reported being happier, said the report.

"The vast majority of research in this area has been to examine the relationship between how much money people make and how happy they are," said Dunn. "What we did instead is to look at how people use what they have."

Dunn said she next wants to investigate whether giving time or volunteering services would boost happiness as much as giving money.

Well kids, let me put this into a nutshell for you! I don't want to comment on spending money on others, but on a personal level I have been both very well off and broke!

After many ups and downs I have come to the conclusion that money CANNOT buy you happiness.

BUT, you sure can RENT IT!

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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The Church of Allan - The Plain Truth About God

A serialization of the book, The Plain Truth About God.

Chapter 12. Thanks for the Meme-ories!


If you are sitting in a state of blissful ignorance about a Meme-infestation, what are the tell tale signs to look for? Imagine how a medical symposium might describe the symptoms.

1. The patient finds him/herself impelled by some deep inner conviction that something feels true, right, or the way it should be; a conviction that does not have any evidence or reason, but which, nevertheless, they feel is totally compelling or convincing!

Doctors refer to such a belief as “faith.”

The typical patient will make it a positive virtue to have his/her “faith” strong and unshakeable.

This feeling of superiority or righteousness will persist in spite of a lack of evidence. In fact most people will believe that the less evidence there is ----the more virtuous the belief!

This lack of evidence is a positive virtue where faith is concerned because if is a self-sustaining program. This means that once a proposition is believed, it automatically undermines opposition to itself.

The “lack of evidence is a virtue” idea is admirable since it teams up with “faith” itself to form a mutually supportive viral program!

2. Along with the two already mentioned symptoms of a Memics infection, we have a related symptom that may also be present in a faith-sufferer.

This is the conviction that “mystery” (i.e. the mystery of faith) is not something to be solved. It is not a virtue to solve mysteries, but rather we should enjoy them and revel in their insolubility.

Roman Catholics, for example, have a belief in infallible authority, which compels them to accept that wine becomes physically transformed into blood.

By the same token, they have the exact same trick performed in the “mystery” of the Trinity!

3. If you have a faith bug, it is statistically overwhelming that it is the same faith as your parents and grandparents had.

Moving stories and parables, along with stirring music and magnificent houses of worship have had some influence, but by and large, the most important variable in determining your religion is an accident of birth!

The convictions that you so passionately believe would have been a completely different set of beliefs if you had been born somewhere, or by someone else!

4. The infected persons may find themselves behaving intolerantly towards rival faiths, in extreme cases even killing them or advocating their deaths. They may be similarly inclined towards apostates or heretics!

This feeling of animosity can even be translated into hostility towards other modes of thought that are potentially inimical to their faith, such as the scientific method (evolution, etc.) which may be an anti-viral agent to him/her.

The road that leads to denunciation of another person’s faith is a long and perilous journey at best.

Because these viruses implant themselves so deeply into our psyche, often from a very early age on, to challenge them or attempt to “bring down the house of cards” can have serious consequences for the individual.

The threat to kill the distinguished novelist Salmon Rushdie or the Danish cartoonist who made fun of Muhammad is only one in a long list of sad examples.

Murder is an extreme example of course, but we have examples of even more extreme behavior in the suicide of the militant observers of a faith.

Like a soldier ant in a colony of Arab, or Japanese, or Sikh extremists, (ants) they are programmed to sacrifice their life.

To die in a holy war is the quickest way to heaven.

'On the surface, this may seems outright preposterous, but remember, the true test of a faith is the ability to believe without question!

Memes are not only immaterial thoughts, but can also manifest themselves as concrete objects when they are employed as the bases for objects such as a book.

A book is a successful way of transmitting a Meme and we are going to look at one of the most successful Memes of all time. The Bible!

In terms of the number of copies in existence, the Bible represents one of the most prolific books ever produced. Where other great texts of the ancient world have either been lost or else exist only in a relatively small number of copies, the Bible is everywhere!

The Bible has existed generally in its present form for the last two millennia.

If “survival of the fittest” has any validity as an evolutionary slogan, then the Bible seems a fair candidate for the accolade of the fittest of all books.

It exists today in over two thousand different languages and is distributed worldwide making it one of the best examples of a self-propagating “Meme.”

The Bible has exerted more influence on Western and even World culture than any other book. In art, literature, politics and religion, the biblical narratives and quotations are all-pervasive.

As Western culture became globalized, so to did the Bible. For example, fully one quarter to one third of all Japanese households today possess a bible. This in a country where only one or two percent of the population has any Christian adherence whatsoever.

The Bible has propagated itself so well in Japan because it is regarded as essential background for a proper understanding of Western culture.

This means that one effect of the spread of Western culture through trade, conquest and missionary activity has been the spread of an ancient Hebrew and Greek text to every corner of the globe.

Where Western culture goes, so goes the Bible.

“What a Meme!” And remember, a Meme has exactly the same psychological motivation for us as a chain letter; “If you propagate me then something nice will happen. If not, then something horrible will happen!” (Hell?)

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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CONNECTIONS!

Another in the riveting series about how and why things work the way they do!



Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Happy Easter, Purim, Narouz, Eid Milad an Nabi, Small Holi and Magha Puja!

Guest Post by DAVID VAN BIEMA

Today more than two billion Christians around the world will mark the gravest observance on their Calendar, Good Friday, the day Jesus died on the cross.

(To be followed in two days by Easter Sunday, to mark his Resurrection).

But unlike some holy days - say, Christmas, which some non-Christians observe informally by going to a movie and ordering Chinese food - on this particular Friday, March 21, it seems almost no believer of any sort will be left without his or her own holiday.

In what is statistically, at least, a once-in-a-millennium combination, the following will all occur on the 21st:

Good Friday

Purim, a Jewish festival celebrating the biblical book of Esther.
Narouz, the Persian New Year, which is observed with Islamic elaboration in Iran and all the "stan" countries, as well as by Zoroastrians and Baha'is.
Eid Milad an Nabi, the Birth of the Prophet, which is celebrated by some but not all Sunni Muslims and, though officially beginning on Thursday, is often marked on Friday.
Small Holi, Hindu, an Indian festival of bonfires, to be followed on Saturday by Holi, a kind of Mardi Gras.
Magha Puja, a celebration of the Buddha's first group of followers, marked primarily in Thailand.

"Half the world's population is going to be celebrating something," says Raymond Clothey, Professor Emeritus of Religious studies at the University of Pittsburgh.

"My goodness," says Delton Krueger, owner of www.interfaithcalendar.org, who follows "14 major religions and six others." He counts 20 holidays altogether (including some religious double-dips, like Maundy Thursday and Good Friday) between the 20th (which is also quite crowded) and the 21st.

He marvels: "There is no other time in 2008 when there is this kind of concentration."

And in fact for quite a bit longer than that. Ed Reingold and Nachum Dershowitz, co-authors of the books Calendrical Calculations and Calendrical Tabulations, determined how often in the period between 1600 and 2400 A.D. Good Friday, Purim, Narouz and the Eid would occur in the same week.

The answer is nine times in 800 years. Then they tackled the odds that they would converge on a two-day period. And the total is ... only once: tomorrow. And that's not even counting Magha Puja and Small Holi.
(Unless you are mathematically inclined, however, you may not see the logic in all this. If it's the 21st of March, you may ask, shouldn't all the religions of the world celebrate the same holiday on that date each year? Say on the first day of Spring! - ED.)

No. There are a sprinkling of major holidays (Western Christmas is one) that fall each year on the same day of the Gregorian calendar, a fairly standard non-religious system and the one Americans are most familiar with.

But almost none of tomorrow's holidays actually follows that calendar. All Muslim holy days, for instance, are calculated on a lunar system.

Keyed to the phases of the moon, Islam's 12 months are each 29 and a half days long, for a total of 354 days a year, or 11 days fewer than on ours. That means the holidays rotate backward around the Gregorian calendar, occurring 11 days earlier each year.

That is why you can have an "easy Ramadan" in the spring, when going without water all day is relatively easy, or a hard one in the summer. And why the Prophet's birthday will be on March 9 next year.

Then there is the Jewish calendar, which determines the placement of Purim. It is "lunisolar," which means that holidays wander with the moon until they reach the end of what might be thought of as a month-long tether, which has the effect of maintaining them in the same season every year.

Good Friday, meanwhile, like many of the other most important Christian holidays, is a set number of days before Easter.

The only problem is that the date of Easter is probably the most complicated celebratory calculation this side of Hinduism, which has a number of competing religious calendars.

The standard rule is "the Sunday after the first full moon on or after the day of the vernal equinox."

But in fact, the actual divination of the date is so involved that it has its own offical name: "computus."

And so challenging that Carl Friedrich Gauss, one of history's greatest mathematicians, devoted the time to create an algorithm for it. It goes on for many lines.

You can look it up. And, of course, it doesn't work for Eastern Orthodox Easter (about one month later than the Western Christian one this year, on April 27).

So, should we celebrate all these celebrations? Yes, says William Paden, the author of Religious Worlds: The Comparative Study of Religion and a professor at the University of Vermont - at least to the extent that we revere the drive to carve out sacred time in the middle of the day-by-day profane.

"Each of these religions is creating its own world, with its own time and space and memory system," he says. They recognize what's of real value, and they encode it, and it forms an architecture of memory."

"Yes," says Bruce Lawrence, the head of Islamic Studies at Duke University, who was invited to speak at a nearby synagogue when the beginnings of Rosh Hashanah and Ramadan happened to coincide last year.

But be cautious, since human nature is as fickle as coincidence.

"When one group is grieving and one is jubilant there are some unfortunate tensions," says Anand Kumar, with the Centre for the Study of Social Systems at Jawaharlal Nehru University in New Delhi, a city with considerable experience with multiple faiths.

Such conjunctions have led to conflicts and even riots, not just when moods clash, but because "the public sphere is being contested."

Kumar is convinced, however, that "a new generation is emerging that is more pluralistic and they don't feel threatened just because someone is from another religion."
And that will be what this writer meditates on Today.

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Iran: Death penalty for converts who leave Islam!

We just received this report from "Perspective's" Middle-East Bureau.

In its first session since last week's general elections, the new Iranian parliament is expected to discuss a law that will condemn to death anyone who decides to leave the Muslim faith and convert to other religions.

The parliament, also known as the Majlis, will debate the new law which has been presented by the government of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

Under the proposed law, anyone who is born to Muslim parents and decides to convert to another faith, will face the death penalty.

Currently converts, particularly those who have decided to leave the Muslim faith for Evangelical churches, are arrested and then released after some years of detention.

The new legislation, which has caused concern in Iran and abroad, was proposed mainly because of fears of proselytising activities by Evangelical churches particularly through the use of satellite channels.

There has also been concern over fact that many young people in Iran have abandoned Islam because they're tired of the many restrictions imposed by the faith.

According to unofficial sources, in the past five years, one million Iranians, particularly young people and women, have abandoned Islam and joined Evangelical churches.

This phenomenon has surprised even the missionaries who carry out their activities in secret in Iran.

An Evangelical priest and former Muslim in Iran told Adnkronos International (AKI) that the conversions were "interesting, enthusiastic but very dangerous".

"The high number of conversions is the reason that the government has decided to make the repression of Christians official with this new law," said the priest on condition of anonymity.

"Often we get to know about a new community that has been formed, after a lot of time, given that the people gather in homes to pray and often with rituals that they invent without any real spiritual guide," he told AKI.

"We find ourselves facing what is more than a conversion to the Christian faith," he said. "It's a mass exodus from Islam."
You know, I don't think this is much of a change since the "Crusades!"

All the rhetoric and posturing is still there and Christianity and Islam are still at loggerheads! Only the actual fighting has died down somewhat.

I like to think this is because we are becoming more civilized, but then again, maybe I'm only deluding myself!

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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THE CANADIAN INVASION OF AMERICA!

The love-hate relationship continues as witnessed from these exchanges on Fox News!



But what Ann and the rest of the boys don't realize is that we have our own invasion plans and they have been underway in typical Canadian fashion for quite some time now! (Meaning you don't even realize it!)

This is one of them!



And to top it all off, the poor bastards down south don't realize that it's now almost complete. To give you an example, here is a brief rundown on some of the people we have sent down to control the media in the States!



(By the way the song on this next video is by Lenard Cohen, who this past week was inducted into the "American" Rock and Roll Hall of Fame! See what I mean!)



And Randy Bachman of B.T.O. and the Guess Who-----



Even if the actual invasion collapses, by the time Americans realize they have been under attack we will have bought up all of the good properties anyway!

To get a better "Perspctive" on that, click H E R E

Your "Live from the front" scribe;
Allan w Janssen

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site http://www.god-101.com/

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Thursday, March 20, 2008

Las Vegas Toilet!


Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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42 1/2 Virgins

Due to the recession and cutbacks in Paradise the availability of Virgins for the Islamic Martyrs has been reduced from 72 down to 42 1/2.

That works out to 42 regular Virgins and one midget!

As if that weren't bad enough, the pisser is that the Virgins are all "Retired Nuns!"

I don't know how this whole "Virgins for Martyrs" thing started but the very idea shows just how misogynistic and full of themselves the average Islamic Fundamentalist really is!

Sure, it's a good line to feed to some 16 or 17 year old country bumpkin, but the fact that somebody could dream this up and then actually have these kids believe them is beyond imagination.

And how did they get 72? I think some old guy just pulled a number out of his hat or made it up on the fly and "Lo and Behold" it stuck!!! What's even worse is the poor kids that actually believe this shit.

I don't profess to know what the afterlife is like, or even IF there is an afterlife, but I can tell you with 100% certainty that there won't be no 72 Virgins waiting for me!

As a matter of fact, with my luck, it might just be my ex-wife!

Whatever the case, the Afterlife won't be anything like we imagine it, so if these kids do get to Paradise all these poor, misguided suicide bombers are in for one hell of a letdown.

Or just plain Hell!



Your humble servant;
Allan W Janssen

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Questions about Canada

The TORONTOIST magazine and website gets a lot of strange questions but these 30 all from the same person hold a special place in my heart for this innocent young girl!

1. What is Nova Scotia?

An excellent source of cold beer and warm people. See also Newfoundland and New Brunswick. PEI: the same with beaches.

Avoid Alberta: the beer is cold but bland - and so are the people.

In BC, both the beer and the people get more interesting as you go. In Quebec, beer is served in generous quarts ... and you’ll need a few of them before people warm up to you.

2.Why is Toronto called "T.Dot"?

Because some lame-asses thought it was a cool abbreviation of the already brief T.O.

People who use this term also often think Ben Mulroney has talent.

3. The black people in Canada- are they from the USA?

Gawd! You’d think so with all the oppressed ghetto culture they buy into, but no.

They are predominately Carribean, occasionally African and, very rarely, from the US.

4. Do you have Mexicans in Canada?

We grow lettuce, don’t we?

5. Drugs: What's legal?

Depends on who your lawyer is.

6. Legal system: Is there a death penalty? Do judges in Canada where those silly wigs that they do in England?

No death penalty. And judges only wear wigs and skirts in their chambers.

7. Food: Do you guys have grocery stores, with shopping carts and stuff?

Yes. Please, however, leave the shopping cart at the furthest point from the store so Bubbles can grab it without too much hassle.

8. Is French the official language? Oui? Non?

Oui! Except in Alberta where it’s American.

Like many things in Canada, however, if you don’t like it, you are free to pick something else.

Mandarin is popular, Arabic is gaining ground and Punjabi will always have it’s niche. You can get by with English.

9. If I live in Montreal but do not speak French, will life be difficult?

Not if you speak Hebrew.

10. Where did white Canadians come from? I mean, weren't there Eskimo/Aleutian people there first?

Europe: exporters of fine white folk for more than 1,000 years.

11. Why do you oppress those that aren't white?

Tradition.

12. Does white privilege exist?

Not if you want a job, social benefits or affordable housing.

13. In Michael Moore's documentary, Bowling for Columbine, he visits Toronto or some city near Michigan. Anyway, the people in this particular city do not lock their doors--even when they leave. Isn't that weird?

Actually, it was Windsor and, outside of Toronto, it’s not that weird.

14. Being a US born citizen, do I get priority over other people who want to move to Canada?

Oh yeah. We just luuuuv Americans. Especially those who come here because they don’t like America and then whine about how things are better in the US.

15. What is a bounty?

Average annual snow fall.

16. Is there a gay problem in Canada?

Only for the homophobes. But we’re working on a vaccine.

17. Do you guys have amazon.com?

Uhhh, yesss.

18. What does the water taste like?

Exactly like water. Except in some parts of Toronto where it tastes like old rotten pipes.

19. Why do Canadians pursue a college education?

They aren’t that hard to catch.

20. Why is Avril Lavigne not as popular as before?

Justice.

21. Why is Sandra Oh really famous in Canada, but in the US, she's just blah?

Blah here too: that’s why we sent her there.

We keep our REALLY famous people hidden so nobody knows we have them.

22. Why did Ryan Reynolds leave Alanis Morsiette? He's hot.

She’s cold.

23. Ryan Gosling is hot too.

Maybe we can set him up with Ryan Reynolds.

24. I get anxiety attacks. Can I buy Xanax over the counter or do I need a prescription?

I hate the doctors here! They think everyone is a drug addict.

Shit, I'm not a junkie. :(

You might not need them once you leave the US.

25. Do you guys have AT&T?

Nope. Dixie cups and a length of string will do the trick.

26. Where does the area code 416 go? My area code is 415.

Hey! We’re already neighbours!

27. Does Canada resemble India?

They are identical. Except for the geography. And the weather. And the culture, history, religion, laws, government, architecture, plant and wildlife. And some other things.

Otherwise, you can’t tell the difference.

28. Is there an obesity problem there?

Nope. It’s as easy to be a fat blob here as it is in America: we eat your food, watch your television and share your love of sloth.

29. I don't have anymore questions.

30. Do you want to add something??

Learn all the words to at least one Stompin’ Tom Connors tune, express an interest in clubbing baby seals and be prepared to explain the difference between an igloo and a quince. These points will make your transition to Canada much easier.

Your "Freindly Canuck" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Top 10 Internet Cons!

Con artists have gone high-tech, using the Internet to defraud consumers in a variety of clever ways.

Whether they're using the excitement of an Internet auction to entice consumers into parting with their money, applying new technology to peddle traditional business opportunity scams be wary of the Ineternet con artist.

Whether they use email to reach vast numbers of people with false promises about earnings through day trading, or hijacking consumers' modems and cramming hefty long-distance charges onto their phone bills, scam artists are just a click away.

Fortunately, law enforcement is on the cyber-case. Using complaints to Consumer Sentinel, a consumer fraud database, as their guide, law enforcement officials have identified the top 10 dot cons facing consumers who surf the Internet, as well as many of the fraudsters behind them.

In addition to putting many online con artists out of business, the Federal Trade Commission, the nation's chief consumer protection agency, wants consumers to know how not to get caught in their web.

According to the FTC, here's what online consumers are complaining about most, both in the United States and Canada:

Internet Auctions

The Bait: Shop in a "virtual marketplace" that offers a huge selection of products at great deals.

The Catch: After sending their money, consumers say they've received an item that is less valuable than promised, or, worse yet, nothing at all.

The Safety Net: When bidding through an Internet auction, particularly for a valuable item, check out the seller and insist on paying with a credit card or using an escrow service.

Internet Access Services

The Bait: Free money, simply for cashing a check.

The Catch: Consumers say they've been "trapped" into long-term contracts for Internet access or another web service, with big penalties for cancellation or early termination.

The Safety Net: If a check arrives at your home or business, read both sides carefully and look inside the envelope to find the conditions you're agreeing to if you cash the check. Read your phone bill carefully for unexpected or unauthorized charges.

Credit Card Fraud

The Bait: Surf the Internet and view adult images online for free, just for sharing your credit card number to prove you're over 18.

The Catch: Consumers say that fraudulent promoters have used their credit card numbers to run up charges on their cards.

The Safety Net: Share credit card information only when buying from a company you trust. Dispute unauthorized charges on your credit card bill by complaining to the bank that issued the card. Federal law limits your liability to $50 in charges if your card is misused.

NEVER GIVE YOUR CARD NUMBER TO SOMEONE THAT HAS CALLED YOU, ONLY IF YOU PHONED THEM!

International Modem Dialing

The Bait: Get free access to adult material and pornography by downloading a "viewer" or "dialer" computer program.

The Catch: Consumers complained about exorbitant long-distance charges on their phone bill. Through the program, their modem is disconnected, then reconnected to the Internet through an international long-distance number.

The Safety Net: Don't download any program to access a so-called "free" service without reading all the disclosures carefully for cost information. Just as important, read your phone bill carefully and challenge any charges you didn't authorize or don't understand.

Web Cramming

The Bait: Get a free custom-designed website for a 30-day trial period, with no obligation to continue.

The Catch: Consumers say they've been charged on their telephone bills or received a separate invoice, even if they never accepted the offer or agreed to continue the service after the trial period.

The Safety Net: Review your telephone bills and challenge any charges you don't recognize.

Multilevel Marketing Plans/ Pyramids

The Bait: Make money through the products and services you sell as well as those sold by the people you recruit into the program.

The Catch: Consumers say that they've bought into plans and programs, but their customers are other distributors, not the general public. Some multi-level marketing programs are actually illegal pyramid schemes. When products or services are sold only to distributors like yourself, there's no way to make money.

The Safety Net: Avoid plans that require you to recruit distributors, buy expensive inventory or commit to a minimum sales volume.

Travel and Vacation

The Bait: Get a luxurious trip with lots of "extras" at a bargain-basement price.

The Catch: Consumers say some companies deliver lower-quality accommodations and services than they've advertised or no trip at all. Others have been hit with hidden charges or additional requirements after they've paid.

The Safety Net: Get references on any travel company you're planning to do business with. Then, get details of the trip in writing, including the cancellation policy, before signing on.

Business Opportunities

The Bait: Be your own boss and earn big bucks.

The Catch: Taken in by promises about potential earnings, many consumers have invested in a "biz op" that turned out to be a "biz flop." There was no evidence to back up the earnings claims.

The Safety Net: Talk to other people who started businesses through the same company, get all the promises in writing, and study the proposed contract carefully before signing. Get an attorney or an accountant to take a look at it, too.

Investments

The Bait: Make an initial investment in a day trading system or service and you'll quickly realize huge returns.

The Catch: Big profits always mean big risk. Consumers have lost money to programs that claim to be able to predict the market with 100 percent accuracy.

The Safety Net: Check out the promoter with state and federal securities and commodities regulators, and talk to other people who invested through the program to find out what level of risk you're assuming.

Health Care Products/Services

The Bait: Items not sold through traditional suppliers are "proven" to cure serious and even fatal health problems.

The Catch: Claims for "miracle" products and treatments convince consumers that their health problems can be cured. But people with serious illnesses who put their hopes in these offers might delay getting the health care they need.

The Safety Net: Consult a health care professional before buying any "cure-all" that claims to treat a wide range of ailments or offers quick cures and easy solutions to serious illnesses.

Can you avoid getting caught by a scam artist working the web? Not always. But prudence pays. The FTC offers these tips to help you avoid getting caught by an offer that just may not click:

Be wary of extravagant claims about performance or earnings potential. Get all promises in writing and review them carefully before making a payment or signing a contract.

Read the fine print and all relevant links. Fraudulent promoters sometimes bury the disclosures they're not anxious to share by putting them in teeny-tiny type or in a place where you're unlikely see them.

Look for a privacy policy. If you don't see one - or if you can't understand it - consider taking your business elsewhere.

Be skeptical of any company that doesn't clearly state its name, street address and telephone number. Check it out with the local Better Business Bureau, consumer protection office or state Attorney General.

The FTC works for the consumer to prevent fraudulent, deceptive, and unfair business practices in the marketplace and to provide information to help consumers spot, stop, and avoid them.

To file a complaint or to get free information on consumer issues, visit ftc.gov or call toll-free, 1-877-FTC-HELP (1-877-382-4357); TTY: 1-866-653-4261.

The FTC enters Internet, telemarketing, identity theft, and other fraud-related complaints into Consumer Sentinel, a secure online database available to hundreds of civil and criminal law enforcement agencies in the U.S. and abroad.

Your "Wanna buy a duck?" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Bin Laden has Faulty Wiring!

When people start to act crazy there is a simple explanation for it all that was put into "Perspective" for me by the writer Kurt Vonnegut many years ago.

All our thoughts and ideas are the result of electrical currents in our brain and if we start doing weird things it is the result of a physical injury or a chemical imbalance in our "wiring!"

For example, Epilepsy is a result of a "short-circuit" of the wiring in our brains and so are various neurological diseases including schizophrenia.

On the other hand, some mental illnesses are chemically fueled while others result from faulty "wiring" when our neural pathways were being formed when we were kids.

They even say that "God" and Religion are the by-products of certain chemical reactions deep within the old noggin, although I personally remain sceptical on that one.

Just the same, a lot of Religious beliefs and ideals come from how our brains were wired when we were young and these are almost impossible to change to any great degree.

That would perhaps explain (But certainly not excuse!) why Al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden warned Europe Wednesday of a "reckoning" for publishing controversial cartoons of the Prophet Mohammed, US monitoring groups said.

(Here comes the part where his priorities are all screwed up!)

Bin Laden said that publishing the "insulting drawings" was a greater crime than Western forces targeting Muslim villages and killing women and children.

Let's see if I have this straight? Killing women and children is not nice but....!

When you insult some long dead guy then that's REALLY BAD!

This major defect in bin Laden's "wiring" does not justify anything this guy has done, but it certainly explains it.

The only thing left to do is disconnect him!

Your "Live from the front" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

WHERE IS BIN LADEN?

Forget Waldo, (He's right out front!) what happened to bin Laden?




ANSWER; He is probably hiding in one of the shitters. (Where he should feel right at home!)

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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The Church of Allan - The Plain Truth About God

A serialization of the book, The Plain Truth About God.

Chapter 12. Thanks for the Meme-ories!


Among some Psychologists and nearly all Sociologists of the last few decades, a new phrase has come into use that describes a “belief system” which contains within itself the instructions for its own self-propagation.

This belief system we could call a replicator!

In The Selfish Gene-Viruses of the Mind (1976) Richard Dawkins proposed that just as biological evolution can be studied at various levels - cultural evolution can also be broken down and studied in its most basic forms.

He argues that the clearest way to think about any form of evolution would be to work from the point of view of its smallest replicating entities.

In the case of genetics, it is the gene.

By analogy, studies of cultural evolution in Darwinian terms can best be looked at by examining the smallest replicating units in a culture.

In this case, they are units, or ideas, that we call “Memes.”

Examples of these “Memes” are popular tunes, catch phrases, fashion, and ways of making certain objects or cultural norms that are practiced by everyone.

** Thoughts, like fleas, jump from man to man. But they don’t bite everybody.—Stanislaw Lec (1909-1996)

Just as genes propagate themselves in the gene pool by leaping from body to body via sperm or eggs, so Memes propagate themselves in the Meme-pool by leaping from mind to mind by imitation.

In addition, this imitation is the sincerest form of flattery!

A perfect example of a self-replicating Meme is a catch phrase from a T.V. commercial for a hamburger that you might remember!

“Where’s the beef!”

This phrase was self-propagating to the point where it took on a life of its own and was repeated by everyone.

“Where’s the beef” became a catchword for the product itself and could stand on its own without any other explanation.

It had a rhyme and rhythm to it that made it a natural to be passed from one person the next and by this very characteristic is one of the prime examples of a cultural “Meme!”

These “Memes” or replicators, cannot do anything on their own of course, but have within themselves the ideas or “hooks” that can trigger a self-replicating process within our brains that seem to give them a life of their own.

Every bit of fashion, or style, or new song, or popular phrase, or idea that is a Meme will be self-replicating to a greater or lesser degree.

And like a virus or parasitic worm, every successful Meme must perform at least two actions.

1. Ensure it takes up long-term residence in its host.

2. Brings about the conditions for its spread.

Biological evolution works by the mutation of genes and natural selection. The genes that produce an advantage are reproduced at a greater rate than genes that fail to confer an adaptive advantage.

In other words, genes that produce a biological advantage are rewarded, while genes that do not are punished by being reproduced less and eventually dying out.

Evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins has argued that something similar happens with ideas and social practices.

Since ideas are not autonomous beings, we know that it is humans who do the actual competing for bits of information in our minds.

So, while these “Memes” do not compete on their own, they propagate in our minds.
Nevertheless, some ideas and practices act as if they were autonomous since they promote their own success by encouraging their survival and accurate reproduction in a large numbers of believers.

In the competition for believers, Memes that aggressively promote their own survival propagate, while those that do not die out.

This is what we mean by Memic selection.

In real life, Memes are usually sets of related ideas that we can call belief systems, and they must do more than simply require their reproduction in people.

Some beliefs become very adept at sticking in people’s minds, such as the phrase from an old T.V. commercial; “Where’s the beef!”

Because these Memes stick out, they eventually spread to wide prevalence.

This line of study, known as Memetics, has far-reaching implications for beliefs about religion, health, family politics, war, abortion, sexuality and just about every other topic that concerns us.

Memetics offers us new ways to look at the spread of irrational thoughts and ideas by reversing the old adage of how people acquire beliefs.

Instead, it asks us the reverse: “How beliefs acquire people!”

When beliefs take an active roll in acquiring new adherents, they are turned into very potent Memes that we can call “thought contagions!”

These “thought contagions” are insidious in their propagation from mind to mind because first of all, as the phrase suggests, they are so contagious.

(Where’s the beef!)

Secondly, and even more importantly, successful mind viruses, just like computer viruses, are extremely hard to detect. If you happen to be the victim of one, the chances are that you do not even know it!

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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CONNECTIONS!

Another in the riveting series about how and why things work the way they do!




Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Wednesday, March 19, 2008

What A Jerk (Off)!

And now, a different "Perspective" on jobs that we wouldn't want to do!

Last week, the Singapore Zoological Gardens announced that they were setting up a bank containing sperm samples of all the wildlife under their supervision. At the same time, zoo sperm bank worker Mohd. Binatang bin Goncang won a competition for "Worst Job in Singapore".

Wildlife Reserves Singapore (WRS), which runs the Singapore Zoo, has set up a bank of sperm and animal tissue in order to help preserve species.

The thankless task of collecting the sperm falls to Mr. Binatang, starting his rounds at 4 a.m.

"We start so early in the morning because a lot of the animals have 'morning glory' when they wake up, and it's easier to collect the sperm."

Wearing rubber gloves and carrying a cooler box filled with ice and tupperware, Mr. Binatang, 25, told us that he'd just graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in life sciences. He liked nature and animals, and thought that the Singapore Zoo would be the perfect place to work.

"I never thought I'd be giving an orang-utan a hand job every morning," he said somewhat ruefully. "And he is the worst, he expects to be kissed first." As we approached the orang-utan enclosure, we saw the Zoo's most famous resident lying casually on his back, hands behind his head, and sporting a huge erection.

Applying the massage oil onto his gloves, he lingered outside the enclosure before entering and knelt before the orange beast. About 2 minutes' worth of squelching noises could be heard before Mr. Binatang emerged again.

Next the tiger enclosure, the big cats were sprawled lazily on the grass verge, in a somewhat half-hearted manner as he put on a fresh set of gloves and entered the enclosure. "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty . . .!"
Moments later, he emerged with several tupperware full of viscous fluid.

"Isn't it dangerous?" we asked.

Mr. Binatang was silent for a while.

"They know I'm not there as an enemy," he finally said, a glazed, faraway look in his eyes.

Worked his way round the zoo, finished his rounds at 3 pm in the afternoon. Carrying out his duties with the tapirs, the rhinoceros, giraffe and the gorillas, amongst others. "Each animal is different," he said, removing his gloves, now speckled with traces of polar bear spunk.

"The chimpanzees always want to be hugged afterwards."

"The elephant is the most tricky because of the size of its thing . . .!
Sometimes I have to use both my arms to tug on it."


"As you can expect it's really affecting my sex life. I can't help it. Each time my wife initiates sex, these ejaculating hippos keep floating through my mind."

How long will he stay difficult to know, but deputy assistant director Lai Jee Seow thinks it is important to continue.

"It's because the animals have gotten too used to Binatang coming over every morning to pull them off," said "Many of them now can't be bothered to engage in real sex."

Your "wacked out" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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I DO! Now let's go out and play on the swings!

I have stated repeatedly that Muslims in the Middel-East, especially the Fundamentalists, are still living in the twlefth century. Back in those old times the life expectancy was nowhere near what it is now and people got married at a much earlier age to start a family. (Usually just after puberty!)

Well, thing don't change much in Saudi Arabia and other countries in that part of the world. No light has been shone on the dark ages over there for a long time.

An 11-year-old boy has married his 10-year-old cousin in the ultra-conservative Muslim kingdom of Saudi Arabia.

Mohammed al-Rashidi and his unidentified cousin will seal the marriage they contracted under the Sharia laws of Islam and move in together after a ceremony to take place in the summer, Al-Shams newspaper reports today.

“I am ready for this marriage. It will help me study better,” Mohammed, who goes to primary school in the northern province of Hail, was quoted by Al-Shams as saying.

“I invite all my classmates to do like me,” the boy said, adding that he wanted to “crown a love story through marriage.”

The schoolboy’s father, Muraizak al-Rashidi, told the newspaper he was busy sending out invitations for a summer celebration to seal the marriage.

(Dahim al-Jaber, the headmaster at Mohammed’s school, said marriage at such a young age was “inappropriate” but wished the couple a happy life together.)

This is once again another good reason to do away with Sharia Law.

(To think there are actually some bleeding heart Liberals who wanted to impliment Sharia Law here in Ontario. Thankfully, saner heads prevailed!)

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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The Church of Allan - The Plain Truth About God

A serialization of the book, The Plain Truth About God.

Chapter 11. Jihad Inc.

The Arab Muslim.


** Women have three roles - obey the father, obey the husband, obey the son.
—Mid-East Proverb.

** It goes without saying that societies in the Islamic, Christian, and Judaic areas of the Middle East have always been, and will try to stay, patriarchal societies.
—Anonymous

** “The true republic; men, their rights and nothing more.” ”Women; their rights and nothing less.” -Susan B. Anthony (1820-1906)


In spite of some of the harsh words leveled at Arabs and Muslims in this chapter, we must not loose sight of the fact that this culture has given the world much throughout its history.

As well as the worlds second largest (and growing) religion it is also the ancestral home to the numerical and mathematical system that is now used throughout the world.

This culture has given us great literature and art as well as the birthplace of many of our theories on the human condition.

Given the Arabs love of logic and debate, the Human family has benefited enormously from their contributions to the humanities and sciences.

Sufism.

Even with the constraints placed upon Islam that give it a great inertia against any change, there are nonetheless great movements in the religion that have manifested itself in two very different ways.

The first of these, Sufism, can be described as the “mystic” version of Islam and its adherents refer to themselves as Sufis---people who see themselves on a spiritual journey toward God.

In order to guide spiritual travelers and to express the states of consciousness experienced on this journey, the Sufis have produced an enormously rich body of literature.

Suffice to say that the Sufi, while acknowledging they are on the pathway to God and will achieve oneness of spirit in Paradise, also believe that it is possible to become close to God in this life.

Furthermore, the attainment of the knowledge that comes in intimacy with God is the very purpose of creation---while the difficulties in following the path derive primarily from one’s self or ego.

(Sounds a lot like the Eastern Religions)

In other words, it can be said that if one is not recognizing or experiencing God’s “closeness” (or presence) the responsibility for this condition lies within.

Some of the effects of the dominance of the ego are that one may become overwhelmed by the need to gratify desires such as anger, lust, anxiety, boredom, regret, self pity, depression, and the many addictions that afflict us.

Hence, one of the emphases of Sufism is the struggle to overcome the dominance of one’s ego. A struggle that first and foremost involves choosing at each moment to remember and surrender actively to God— irrespective of whether the form in which God manifests is one of absence or presence, benevolence or severity.

The struggle with one’s own ego has been called the greater struggle or greater “Holy War” (al-jihad al-akbar) in contrast to the lesser struggle, “holy war” (al-jihad al-asghar), which is against injustice in this world.

The lesser struggle of Jihad is certainly against perceived injustices and oppression in the world, but the greater struggle is what Muhammad talked about whenever he officially declared a “Jihad!”

It was, in effect, a war against the “seven deadly sins.”


Numerous Muslim scholars have spoken favorably about Sufism while one of the criticisms often leveled at Sufis by their fellow Muslims is that they withdraw from social and political activity.

This is far from being true in Muslim central Asia, where in Chechnya for example,

Sufis were very active in fighting against Russian invaders.

Baha’i.

The regions (Middle East) distinction as being the birthplace of a great majority of humanities philosophical and religious endeavors means it should come as no surprise that there is another movement in the works today that could once again change the course of our spiritual development.

Here I am referring the advent of the Baha’i faith and its possible impact on future religious thought!

The practice of Baha’i has at its core some of the seeds of a religion that could one day unify all the “people of the book.”

Its philosophy is not only simple and elegant, but seems to have the fundamentals of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam within its framework.

It has the potential to become a world religion that is not driven by the old demons (pardon the pun) of the past!

It bears watching!

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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CONNECTIONS!

Another in the riveting series about how and why things work the way they do!



Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Arthur C Clarke dies at 90

The "Perspective" team recieved this news bulletin earlier this afternoon:

It is with great regret and sadness that I have to inform you of the passing of British writer Sir Arthur C Clarke, who has died in Sri Lanka at the age of 90.

Sir Clarke came to fame when a short story called The Sentinel was made into the film 2001: A Space Odyssey by director Stanley Kubrick in 1968. Once called "the first dweller in the electronic cottage", his vision captured the popular imagination of the world.

Sir Arthur was born in Minehead, Somerset. A close aide said he died after a cardio-respiratory attack.

Sincerely;

H.A.L. 9000
Chicago
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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European Union

Speaking of the "Perspective" research department, we also looked into the rumours floating around about a further integration of the member countries.

The EU Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a United Urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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U.S. Gun Control

The "Perspective" research department, after an exhaustive study, has come up with this amazing fact..............!

If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq Theater of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000.

The firearms death rate in Washington D.C. is 80.6 per 100,000.

That means that you are about 25% more likely to be shot and killed in the Nation's Capitol than you are in Iraq.

Conclusion: You should immediately pull out of Washington D.C.

Your "Live from the front" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Take my life.........Please!

We have all had our moments of crisis and heartache and sorrow but this guy is doing what most of us never had the guts to do.

He is selling everything and starting over!

I don't just mean his stuff, I mean EVERYTHING! His house, his furniture, his car, his JOB and his Friends!

Ian Usher, a British immigrant to Australia, said Tuesday he would auction everything he owns and more on e-Bay starting June 22. "On the day it's all sold and settled, I intend to walk out of my front door with my wallet in one pocket and my passport in the other, nothing else at all," Usher says on his website.

Up for bid is Usher's three-bedroom house in the western city of Perth and everything inside it, his car, motorcycle, jet ski and parachuting gear.

Usher says he is also selling a one-time introduction to his friends and a trial run at his job - a plan endorsed by his friends and his employer.

In media interviews on Tuesday, Usher said he wants a fresh start after realizing that most things in his current life remind him of the relationship he had with the wife of five years whom he broke up with more than a year ago.

"Everything that I have - the furniture in the house - all has memories attached to it," Usher, 44, told Seven Network television. "It's time to shed the old, and in with the new."

Usher said his life will be sold in one lot, and that bidders should expect to pay more than 420,000 Australian dollars (US$390,000; Ç250,000), which is the upper end of a realtor's valuation of his house that he has posted online.
Joy Jones, who co-owns the rug store in Perth where Usher worked as a shop assistant, said she liked the auction idea and wanted to help out. Joy Jones Rugs is offering the successful bidder a two-week trial, which could be extended for three months and then become permanent if it works out.

"When Ian came with this idea - because we had seen him go through a breakup of marriage and pain and bits and pieces - I thought it was really exciting," Jones told the Australian Broadcasting Corp. "We thought, why not give it a go?"
Usher said his friends in Perth had also proved willing to be introduced to the highest bidder - allowing him to advertise his auction as offering a complete lifestyle.

Usher, who was born in Darlington, England, plans to open the auction at noon Perth time (0300 GMT) on June 22 and accept the last bid exactly one week later. He said he hopes to set off travelling, including a visit to his mother in England, as soon as the auction is over.

"My current thoughts are to then head to the airport, and ask at the flight desk where the next flight with an available seat goes to, and to get on that and see where life takes me from there," he wrote online.
Bon Voyage

(On a side note, I have wanted to do the same thing a few times over the years and go back to Vancouver where I spent a couple of years in the early 70's..... but I never had the guts and/or the opportunity when it presented itself, so I guess I'm destined to live out my life here in London, Ontario. Which all things considered is not that bad!)

Ian also qualifies for our "Winner of the Day" trophy because after all kids, if you're gonna do it, then do it right!!

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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