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- EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM! -

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Middle aged heterosexual, WASP male. Semi retired, semi-sane and semi-serious. And endangered species and I'm not going quietly!!!!

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Guest Post: Michael Coren

Today's guest post is by Michael Coren.

I like it enough that it is reproduced here in it's entirety:

Sliding into an abyss!

Sometimes we in the media merely play a game, making little ripples at the side of the water rather than diving right in to make an almighty splash.

In other words, we run around the edge of various problems and debates but are afraid to shine light on the authentic dilemmas of our age.

Whether it's politics, economics, culture or morality, the culture, society and various pundits always assume that things are getting better -- that we're making progress and that what we have and what is to come is superior to what was.

Problem is, it's mostly nonsense.

If anything, North American society is slipping into the abyss as the years go by.

Yet if any of us point to the past and argue that just half a century ago the world was more civilized, gentle, kind and moral we are dismissed --at best -- as nostalgic cranks. Facts, however, are more significant than abuse.

A few examples: Those much-despised 1950s were, we are told, oppressive, confining and prudish. Yet since then the teenage suicide in North America has increased by 5,000%, which is a figure so extraordinary that some of you probably think it a misprint. No, five times one thousand.

The allegedly dark days of half-a-century ago seldom saw young Canadians and Americans try to, and often succeed, in killing themselves. Not now!

In 1958 a broad cross-section of school principals were asked what were the five most challenging problems they faced in dealing with students.

The answers were as follows: Not doing homework; not respecting property, such as throwing books; leaving lights and/or doors and windows open; throwing spitballs in class; running in the halls.

In 1988 the same question was put to a similar group of teachers. This time the answers were a little different: Children having abortions; young people infected with AIDS; incidents of rape; widespread use of soft and increasingly hard drugs; a fear of murders and guns and knives in class.

We were told in the 1960s that the almost universal availability of the contraceptive pill and condoms would liberate women, increase marital happiness and lead to sexual fulfillment.

In fact there has been a steady increase in so-called unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, divorce and the use of antidepressants.

Rather than empowering women, contraceptives have had the opposite effect and are used by men to have sexual intercourse without responsibility.

Every serious survey reveals that young girls today feel far more pressured to reluctantly agree to sex than their mothers and grandmothers did 20 and 40 years ago.

More children are raised by single parents now than was thought remotely possible by even the most pessimistic analysts 35 years ago.

Those children fortunate enough to have both parents in the home see their fathers -- and especially their mothers -- substantially less often than was the norm in the '50s and '60s.

In schools we spend more money than ever before but genuine literacy levels have declined to such an extent that university teachers now complain that student essays are indecipherable.

We abolished uniforms so that children could express their individuality and they dress in identical baggy pants and baseball caps.

The great writer G.K. Chesterton referred to the democracy of the dead. Listen to the past a little, it's amazing the wisdom and common sense you might hear.

Michael is the type of person you either agree wholeheartedly with, or not at all! There doesn't seems to be too much in that is wishy-washy about this guy!

Today I agree!

Allan

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Happy 65th Birthday Kim Jong Il



Our congratulations to Kim Jong-il on his 65Th birthday today!

(The official biography holds that his birth at Mount Paektu was foretold by a swallow, and that his birth was heralded by the appearance of a double rainbow over the mountain and a new star in the heavens. Let's see you top THAT!)

Since he is now of retirement age, Kim's possible successor is a continuing topic of speculation.

South Korean media have suggested that he is grooming his son, Kim Jong-chul. (His eldest son, Kim Jong-nam, was earlier believed to be the designated heir, but he appears to have fallen out of favour after being arrested at Narita International Airport in Narita, Japan, near Tokyo, in 2001 while traveling on a forged passport. He tried to sneak into Japan because..........{Are you ready for this?} he wanted to visit Tokyo's Disneyland. He's sort of like North Korea's equivalent to Pee Wee Herman!)

Your "All the news that fits" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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(Hollywood) in Re-hab!

It hasn't been a good week for poor old _______!

After Monday's disastrous box office/sales results for _____ new ________, things have taken a turn for the worse and gone on a dangerous downward spiral.

Tuesday started a week of heavy drinking and partying which led to allegations of a homosexual affair on Wednesday evening at a popular Hollywood night spot.

This lead to a shooting at __________'s home in the early morning hours when _________ walked in on the illicit affair.


Police charged ___________ with aggravated assault and he/she was released on bail pending a court appearance next month.

By Thursday ________ is rumoured to have slept with ________ best friends _________ and also performed some sort of lewd act with the family pet while _____ was out of town !

Friday night is not much better for our newly shaved bald friend as he/she was arrested for D.U.I. by Beverly Hills police, who then found thirteen tabs of ecstasy in the car.

Saturday morning _______was bailed out by his/her _________ who immediately filed for divorce and is seeking a 120 million dollar settlement plus custody of the monkey.

Sunday morning _______ tried to make amends with ________, but couldn't get near the house since the dog kept growling and barking at him/her.

_____ then took ________ into re-hab so that he/she would be in shape for next weeks start of production on ___________ which is reported to have the biggest budget in Hollywood history.

_________ payday for this ________ will be a $25 million dollar advance, which will bring his/her earnings this year to $120 million.

Your "Hush, Hush, and on the Q.T." scribe;
Allan W Janssen

(Just fill in who, and what, you want! It won't be too far off!)

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Friday, February 16, 2007

Anna, I've decided to come clean!

O.K. I will admit it!

Rather than have all this nonsense go on and on about the paternity of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, I have to put the record straight and say that she is really my daughter!

Although this will cause my family great distress, I can't live a lie anymore and must come clean.

Last winter, while on vacation, I ran into Anna at a small out of the way resort and one thing led to another until I ended up spending the night with her.

It was a pleasurable enough interlude even if she wasn't all that great in the sack, but then a few months later Anna phoned and told me she was pregnant, and what was I going to do about it!

With enough on my plate already, I told here that she was on her own, and I'm sure she had enough money to properly look after the child.

I didn't want to complicate her life any further and told her so!

This all seemed well enough until I started hearing all these outlandish claims of paternity from every Tom, Harry and Dick. ;-)

Anyway, I can't bear the thought of some uncaring, callous lout being involved in this mess for purely financial reasons, so I think I had better set the record straight and do the right thing, so that I can look after the little girl properly.

Just so you know!

Your "True Blue" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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Three Stages in a Man's Life!

SINGLE
MARRIED
DIVORCED

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A Penny For Your Thoughts!

Canada, along with a bunch of other countries including the States, is planning to do away with the penny. Instead, all our calculations will be rounded out to the nearest 5 cents.

I think this would make things much easier when making change, but more than that it might save us a pile of money too.

Apparently minting all those coins costs us a lot of money.

If memory serves me, it could be in the hundreds of millions of dollars!

Why so much you ask?

I'm glad you asked!

I just found out that in typical government fashion, it cost them 4 cents to mint 1 cent.

Why doesn't this surprise me?

Your "fiscally conservative" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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Thursday, February 15, 2007

Open Sesame!

Let's suppose you're 500 miles from home and you lock your keys in the car.

Better yet, let's say you left the car running and the auto locks clicked shut and you're out in the cold, so to speak.

Out of Luck? Not today, Jose.

Phone home on your cell phone. Get someone to hold the second (back-up)remote door opener up to the phone and press "open" while you hold the cell phone about a foot from the drivers door!

Your car is open and you're on your way...........

You're welcome!

Your "handyman" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

(Two days later....O.K. After much scientific study and analysis we did a research project and the door opener over the phone thing DID NOT work. I don't know if it was my particular set or what, but no-go. BUT, [listen to this] my REMOTE CAR STARTER DID WORK!)

Go figure!
Allan

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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Even More Ways to Bug a Cat!










Here kitty, kitty, kitty! You can do it!

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Happy Valentines Day!

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.

It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list.

Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" she heard someone whisper. "I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!" and, "I didn't know others liked me so much." were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again.

She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another.

That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in Viet Nam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student.

She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature.

The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. She nodded: "yes." Then he said: "Mark talked about you a lot."

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

"We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it."

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times.

The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

"Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around.

Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home."

Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album."

"I have mine too," Marilyn said "It's in my diary."

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group "I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: "I think we all saved our lists."

That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be.

So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.

And One Way To Accomplish This Is: Send this message on. If you do not send it, you will have, once again passed up the wonderful opportunity to do something nice and beautiful

If you've received this, it is because someone cares for you and it means there is probably at least someone for whom you care.

The more people that you send this to, the better you'll be at reaching out to those you care about.

Remember, you reap what you sow. What you put into the lives of others comes back into your own.


May Your Day Be As Blessed As You Are Special!

Unknown.

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) www.God-101.com

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This is one of the reasons I quit drinking!


End of story!

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Tuesday, February 13, 2007

CAN'T BEAT THIS!


Beatbox
Uploaded by loranger

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) www.God-101.com

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Give 'Em the Finger!

Here are the guys we talked about in the piece below!



Your 'undercover' scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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Survey Says!

Well, this is the time of year where there seems to be an awards show every week and a new poll every day.

I found a few interesting facts about Muslims in Canada from a new Environics poll conducted in association with the CBC.

A much larger proportion of Canadian Muslims are satisfied with the way things are going today in Canada than is the case in Europe.

More than 80 per cent of Canada's roughly 700,000 Muslims are broadly satisfied with their lives here and only a very small percentage - 17 per cent - feel that many or most Canadians are hostile toward their religion.

The proportion is greater even than the 61 per cent of Canadians who generally feel their lives are on the right track.

In general terms, the poll found that 73 per cent of Canadian Muslims describe themselves as "very proud" to be called Canadians, even if many of them see their religion as coming first in certain instances.

As well, they have very little sympathy for extremists or terrorist groups and they aren't crazy about the northern climate,
-it tops the list of things they like least.

Now comes the interesting part! Asked about the arrests last summer of the 18 Muslim men and boys who were allegedly plotting terrorist attacks in southern Ontario, 73 per cent of the Muslim respondents said these attacks were not at all justified and 82 per cent said they had no sympathy for those who wanted to carry them out.

O.K. That means 27 percent felt there was some justification for the terrorists and 18 percent had some sympathy for the perpetaraitors. Why isn't it 0%

Now I realise that these small percentages are probably accounted for by the under thirty crowd, but just the same it is worrying!

Almost half (49 per cent) of the general Canadian population feel new immigrants should blend in with the rest of the country, while 40 per cent feel they should be encouraged to maintain their religious and cultural practices.

The differences are more pronounced when it comes to women: 81 per cent of non-Muslim Canadians feel ethnic minorities should adapt to mainstream Canadian beliefs about the rights and roles of women, whereas only 36 per cent of Canadian Muslims feel that way, the poll suggests.

A majority of the Muslim respondents (53 per cent) would also like to see Islamic Sharia law adopted for divorce and other family disputes, and a much larger number, 86 per cent, of Canadian Muslims do not feel governments should ban the wearing of headscarves by Muslim women in public, including public schools.

Many of these concerns are more strongly backed by young Muslims under 30, the survey suggests, and Haideh Moghissi, a York University sociologist who has worked extensively in this area, says these should probably be seen as more of a "political gesture than a religious one" by those who have felt their community "bearing the brunt of this suspicion and fear" since the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks.

In fact, almost 60 per cent of Muslim women do not wear any kind of covering on a regular basis, the survey found. And 72 per cent of the respondents said they were not too worried or not worried at all about Muslim women taking on more modern roles in Canadian society.

These figures seems to suggest about the same numbers as for other ethnic groups over the years, except for the one disturbing aspect of some sympathy and support for terrorist ambitions.

This alone should justify any concerns about the Muslim community!

Your "ever vigilant" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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Monday, February 12, 2007

Monday, Monday!

The start of a brand new week and time to get serious about work again. Fortunately I work for myself, so when I'm on the lazy side the "boss" doesn't say too much!

Watched the Grammy's last night and was really impressed. Here is why. Not only was the show great for the most part, but there was NOT ONE RAP SONG!

O.K. one song was half-rap, but I can handle that!

Remember a few years ago when it seemed the whole show was rap?

Apparently public outrage in the form of viewers turning it off about half way through was noticed by the producers, and rap died the death it so richly deserves. (I actually hate rap more than Bruce Willis, if that's possible!)

Now, another quick note. The bullshit over Anna Nicole Smith's Estate has started.

The house in the Bahama's bore the brunt of the openning salvo!

Over the weekend U.S. developer and former boyfriend, (how many has she had?) G Ben Thompson said he had only loaned her use of the house and grounds in the Bahama's, not given it to her as she had claimed!

So, he changed the locks!

Then her purported husband Howard K. Stern had the locks changed again, took the kid and re-claimed the mansion. He set up housekeeping.

Next Stern's mother showed up, and then Anna's Mother, although it's not known if she was admitted.

If you think it's weird now, wait till everyone sets their sights on the hundred's of millions from her former husband that is still being disputed!

(This brings to mind a story I once heard. A guy says to a girl he met; "Would you sleep with me for a million bucks?" She thinks about it and says; "Yea, I guess so!" He then says; "Would you sleep with me for twenty bucks?" She says; "Are you kidding, what do you take me for?" He says; "Oh, we already established that, now we're just negotiating price!")

Your "hush, hush, and on the Q.T." scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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Sunday, February 11, 2007

What's All This Talk About Global Warming?

The people in this town obviously haven't heard about it!

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Revelation, or Delusional Again?

Continuing with our "two for one Sunday," a strange thought came to me as I sat in the back of the church with my wife today.

Thinking about the George Carlin piece, (below) I had a thought!

I can't quite decide if it was a revelation, or I am just being delusional again!

First of all, yes I was in St. Georges with my wife and don't consider this hypocritical in the least. If you have read this column at all you know that while I do believe in in some sort of Supreme Being that is responsible for "First Cause," *** I consider the Resurrection a myth and misleading.

(It just doesn't work that way in this Universe. When your dead, your dead. That's a rule and to break it negates the whole thing and the Universe falls apart.)

Anyway, although my wife is a very good Catholic and I am not a Christian by any means, I still take her to Church now, (Especially since she got cancer!) and it makes her feel better.

I guess you could say she's being a good Catholic and I'm being a good husband!

Now we come to the crux of the matter, and this is where I need your help!

Sitting there at the back of the Church, a thought occurred to me.

The revelation (?) I had was this. Maybe God still influences things in the Universe, just not with US, since the advent of "Free Will!"

Perhaps, since our "maturing" into "free will," we are expected to be more like adults now and make our own decisions. (Or at least teenagers, which is really scary.)

When we were in the Garden of Eden (operating by instinct instead of reason) we were under God's care. Now, with a taste of the "Apple" (Reason) we are like the bird that's kicked out of the nest and told to sink or swim! That would explain the lack of any outside involvement in our affairs.

I only had this thought a few hours ago so don't take a half baked idea as Gospel, ;-) but it does seem to have some interesting possibilities.

If you have any thoughts on it please let me know!!

Your "questioning" scribe;
Allan W Janssen


*** Please do not confuse, in any way, "First Cause" (Big Bang) with Intelligent Design.

I.D. seems to be a watered down form of Creationism to make it more palatable and is trying to slip religion in through the back door. (You have to watch those guys!)

I, on the other hand, am a Darwinist who simply thinks that everything we see is NOT without purpose.

Rather, Something had to set it in motion.

The Big Bang simple can't be put in the same category as "spontaneous human combustion."

It don't work that way!

There is always a cause, and especially with something on the scale of The Bang.

It can't simply have just "happened!"

(That's my story and I'm stickin with it!)

P.S. If you want to see what I have against "Religion," look below and listen to George Carlin put things into perspective!

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Sunday Morning Funnies!

Let's kill two birds with one stone this week. Religion AND Humour.


Allan

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