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- EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM! -

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Middle aged heterosexual, WASP male. Semi retired, semi-sane and semi-serious. And endangered species and I'm not going quietly!!!!

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Elvis is Alive!

Last year, we here at Perspective reported that Elvis was not only alive, but doing well in his new life as an unknown around the Nashville area.

This was naturally met with a bit of scepticism and most people chose not to believe it, but lo and behold, while on a fact-finding mission to New Orleans this week one of our Perspective staff members ran into Elvis down there and took this picture.

(Although we did get this shot of him, Elvis didn't really want his picture taken and refused an interview with us so we will repeat this article we first published last year!)

Thirty years after the reported death of Elvis Presley your fearless reporter has uncovered evidence that Elvis never really died back in 1977.

It seems it was all false publicity to get Elvis out of the spotlight for a while and give him a chance to rest. Then when he started to make more money "dead" than when he was alive they had to keep him permanently under wraps, so to speak!

Yes bunky, all those Elvis sightings were not someones imagination after all. Elvis was seen here, there and everywhere across America but since everyone thought he was dead all the sightings were discounted as hoaxes.

Even though he was out of the public spotlight Elvis's health continued to deteriorate due to a bad diet and drug use and he actually did come close to death in the early eighties as this file photo shows!


After an "Intervention" by his friends and family he regained his health and started living a simple life as a busker in New Orleans where he stayed for about twenty years until returning to Memphis.

Elvis mostly hid out in the back wing of Graceland and secretly watched the tourists as they filed through. He rarely ventured out unless in disguise.

When he did go out his favorite trips were to Disneyland and Michael Jackson's Neverland ranch where he sometimes worked as a roustabout.

He also did an occasional busker job in the south end of Memphis!

Here Elvis is shown in a photo taken on his 72'nd birthday last January 8th.

A small party was held for him at the playboy mansion with an "invitation only" crowd in attendance.

Your "hush, hush and on the Q.T." scribe;
Allan W Janssen

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com

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Saturday Morning Confusion #249

Do everyday things get you confused? Do you often ponder what it's all about? Does day to day living give you a headache? Has your wife had her period so long it's turned into a semi-colon? Are you losing the hair on your head and getting it in your nose and on your ass instead? Is that what's bothering you.......Bunky?

Well, this blog explains it all!

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For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads.

Most of us have naively thought this was connected with religion, or marriage, or something, but the Indian Embassy in Washington, DC has recently revealed the true story...

When a Hindu woman marries, she brings a dowry into the union.

On her wedding night, the new husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop, or a motel in the United States..

If there is nothing under the dot, he must take a job in India answering telephones and giving technical advice that no one can understand.

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Unfortunately Barak Obama gets to be our "loser of the day" for all the weird, nasty and just plain strange things Rev. Wright has been saying to the media this past week!

It's amazing what some people will do and say just to keep the spotlight on themselves once they get a taste of it!

That he is derailing Obama in his bid for the Presidency doesn't seem to matter as much as staying in the public eye, so the Reverend gets our "Asshole of the week" award!

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More stuff to bug and confuse us!

1. When I was born, I got a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I can't remember what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Q: What's an Australian kiss? A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.......

15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life? A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.

16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ? A: Breasts don't have eyes.

17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives !!!

And dat's the name of that tune!

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com

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Friday, May 02, 2008

10 comandments from a man to a woman!

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite one) is part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself. Take about 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh touting. He has just been with a lot of work weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc and then run a dust cloth over the tables.

3. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with an intense personal satisfaction.

4. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces. If they are small comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

5. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer and vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

6. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first. Remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

7. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his very real need to be home and relax. Your goal. Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

8. Don’t greet him with complaints and problems. Don’t complain if he’s home late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

9. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low soothing and pleasant voice.

10. Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. A good wife always knows her place.

This is an extract from a 1950’s home economics book, but it’s a brave man today who takes this home with any expectations:-)

My how times have changed!

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com

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You can run, but you can't hide!

I've never heard of this trend before, but according to USA Today, subprime borrowers buying a car are required to have a little box mounted under the car's dashboard that forces them to make payments on time.

A light on the box flashes when payments are due, and if the payment is not made on time, the box starts to beep until a four-digit code is punched in to reset the system. The only way to get this code is by making the payment, and if that payment is not made on time, the car won't start.

Apparently, customers hate them, while lenders love the little boxes because it lowers default rates.

Sekurus, the company who sells these boxes, has sold over 250,000 at $250, and its competitors are looking at ways to make these payment enforcement devices more efficient.

One company is selling wireless systems that sends text messages to the car, and another one is adding GPS functionality to the device to make it easy for lenders to repossess the car.'

I know times are tough for everyone, but is this really necessary?

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com

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CONNECTIONS!

Another in the riveting series about how and why things work the way they do!



Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com

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Thursday, May 01, 2008

Must Have Books!

After much debate and argument the "Perspective" research department presents a selection of history's most notable cult writings.

Some are classic. Some are catastrophic. All have the power to inspire!

(Now you have to realize that this is a highly subjective list, but as far as I am concerned these books are a must read for a well rounded education and world view!)

Cult books include some of the most cringe making collections of bilge ever collected between hard covers. But they also include many of the key texts of modern feminism; some of the best journalism and memoirs; some of the most entrancing and original novels in the canon and much more!

Cult books are somehow, intangibly, different from simple bestsellers – though many of them are that. The Carpetbaggers was a bestseller; Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance was a cult.

They are different from books that have big new ideas – though many of them are that. On The Origin of Species changed history; but Thus Spoke Zarathustra was a cult.

They are different from How-To books – though many of them are that.

The Highway Code is a How-To book; Baby and Child Care was a cult. These are books that became personally important to their readers: that changed the way they lived, or the way they thought about how they lived.

The Bible, the Koran and the Communist Manifesto, of course, changed lives – but, in the first instance, they changed the life of the tribe, not of the individual.

In compiling our list, we were looking for the sort of book that people wear like a leather jacket or carry around like a totem.

The book that rewires your head: that turns you on to psychedelics; makes you want to move to Greece; makes you a pacifist; gives you a way of thinking about yourself as a man or a woman, or a voice in your head that makes it feel okay to be a teenager; conjures into being a character who becomes a permanent inhabitant of your mental flophouse.

These twenty books do this and more. Everyone might not agree with the list but then that is why we have the comments section at the bottom.

Anything we missed or should have included, then by all means let us know!

I promise I won't let the list get over 100 books! -ED.

Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut (1969) Sideways fantasy from the Diogenes of American letters, a comic sage who survived the firebombing of Dresden and various familial tragedies to work out his own unique brand of science-fictional satire. Like much of Vonnegut's stuff, this is savage anger barely masked by urbane anthropological sarcasm. Very much the place to start.

Catch-22 by Joseph Heller (1961) Bitterly bouncy military farce, responsible for inventing the dilemma to which it gave its name: you're only excused war if you're mad, but wanting an exemption argues that you must be sane. Literary history would be entirely different if Heller had followed his original intention and called it Catch-18: it was changed to avoid confusion with a Leon Uris book.

The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger (1951) Ur-text of adolescent alienation, beloved of assassins, emos and everyone in between, Gordon Brown included. Complicated teen Holden Caulfield at large in the big city, working out his family and getting drunk. You've probably read it, be honest.

The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield (1993) Deep in the South American jungle an intrepid explorer is about to stumble on a sequence of ancient prophecies that could change our way of living, even save the world. If only we didn’t have to buy the other novels in that the series to find out what they were! For a similar effect on the cheap, rent an Indiana-Jonesalike film – Tomb Raider, say – and ask a hippy to whisper nonsense in your ear while you're watching it.

Chariots of the Gods: Was God An Astronaut? by Erich Von Däniken (1968) Those Easter Island things, they're blokes wearing space suits, aren’t they? Er, no. Hugely influential work of mad-eyed fabricated Arch & Anth, responsible for decades of pub pseudoscience as well as for splendid stuff such as The X-Files. Increasingly common at jumble sales these days, though Von Däniken happily got another 25 books out of the idea.

A Clockwork Orange; Anthony Burgess' 1963 classic stands alongside Orwell's 1984 and Huxley's Brave New World as a classic of twentieth century post-industrial alienation, often shocking us into a thoughtful exploration of the meaning of free will and the conflict between good and evil.Told by the central character, Alex, this brilliant, hilarious, and disturbing novel creates an alarming futuristic vision of violence, high technology, and authoritarianism. Recognized as one of the literary geniuses of our time, Anthony Burgess produced thirty-two novels, a volume of verse, sixteen works of nonfiction, and two plays. Originally a composer, his creative output also included countless musical compositions, including symphonies, operas, and jazz. The author's musicality is evident in the lyrical and dramatic reading he gives in this recording. Anthony Burgess died in 1993.

Dune by Frank Herbert (1965) Sandworms, ornithopters, Atreides, Harkonnen and spice: chop and blend for sci-fi fantasy, strangely like an intergalactic cousin of James Clavell. The first in an increasingly soap-operatic sequence. Equally cultishly adapted for the screen by David Lynch, and the root of many a lifelong passion for complex character names and/or arcane ceremonial weaponry.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams (1979)Forget Asimov or PKD. Douglas Adams was so brilliant a visionary that even in the late 1970s he was able to foresee a time when digital watches would look pretty silly. The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy – a radio show before it was a novel, and a film, and a game, and a TV show – was incredibly clever and wildly funny. Thanks to the Guide, an entire generation of Britons was nursed to adulthood with the phrases "Don’t Panic" and "Mostly Harmless", and the number 42.

The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test by Tom Wolfe (1968)New journalism, non-fiction novel – however you define it, Tom Wolfe’s 1968 account of the novelist Ken Kesey’s psychedelic bus ride across America with his "Merry Pranksters" established a style of free-associating, hyperbolic writing (count the exclamation marks!!!) that spawned countless imitations. To a generation of readers it fostered a burning envy that they had not been in San Francisco when the Kool-Aid dispensers were being spiked with "Purple Haze". Now a vivid social history of a period that seems as remote as Byzantium.

Fear of Flying by Erica Jong (1973) More 1970s searching for "authenticity" and "selfhood": a housewife has an affair with a radical psychoanalyst ("Adrian Goodlove", geddit?) and fantasises about sexual liberation. At the end, though, she goes back to her husband. John Updike called it the most "delicious erotic novel a woman ever wrote" – but really, what on earth was all the fuss about?

Nineteen Eighty-Four (also titled 1984),by George Orwell (the pen name of Eric Arthur Blair), is an English novel about life in a dictatorship as lived by Winston Smith, an intellectual worker at the Ministry of Truth, and his degradation when he runs afoul of the totalitarian government of Oceania, the state in which he lives in the year that he presumes is 1984.
Nineteen Eighty-Four was published in 1949 and has been translated to sixty-two languages. The novel's title, its terms and its language (Newspeak), and its author's surname are bywords for personal privacy lost to national state security. The adjective "Orwellian" denotes totalitarian action and organisation; the phrase: Big Brother is Watching You connotes pervasive, invasive surveillance. The following quotation from the novel has become famous:
War is Peace
Freedom is Slavery
Ignorance is Strength

Although the novel has been banned or challenged in some countries, it is among literature's most famous dystopias. In 2005, Time magazine listed it among the best one hundred English-language novels published since 1923. The novel WE by Yevgeny Zamyatin is considered by some to have been an influence on 1984 and is also a dystopia.

The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail by Michael Baigent, Richard Leigh and Henry Lincoln (1982) Similar territory to The Da Vinci Code but earlier, less balefully stupid and with the nerve to claim factual accuracy (its authors took Dan Brown to court and lost). The usual song and dance about Templars, bloodlines of Christ and global conspiracies, but somehow still chilling for all that. Staple text of the bonkers brigade.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S Thompson (1971) Needs little introduction. Bad craziness as the Duke of Gonzo and his helpless attorney blaze a streak of pharmaceutical havoc across 1970s California, all in demented bar-fight prose and fever-dream set-pieces. Now also a core text for ex-public school drug bores, which tends to obscure the anarchic excellence of HST's journalistic talent.

The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran (1923) Pocket-sized set of aphorisms that sound like they were written by a medieval monk but were actually the product of a Lebanese-American alcoholic who died of cirrhosis of the liver in 1931. The Prophet is a beautifully phrased exercise in pointing out the obvious but Sixties hippy kids loved it.

The Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyám by Edward FitzGerald (1859) This is among the best-selling volumes of poetry of all time, and does all that a translation should: it introduces the idea of an exotic, different culture; and it expresses what its readers feel, but lets them blame it on someone else. Here, in an age of doubt, aesthetics and Darwinism, these mysterious verses, drawn from 11th-century Persian, stand as little examples of how to celebrate life even as it slips away.

Fahrenheit 451; The novel presents a future in which all books are restricted, individuals are anti-social and hedonistic, and critical thought is suppressed. The central character, Guy Montag, is employed as a "fireman" (which, in this future, means "book burner"). The number "451" refers to the temperature (in Fahrenheit) at which a book or paper autoignites. Over the years, the novel has been subject to various interpretations, primarily focusing on the historical role of book burning in suppressing dissenting ideas. Bradbury has stated that the novel is not about censorship; he states that Fahrenheit 451 is a story about how television destroys interest in reading literature, which ultimately leads to ignorance of total facts.

The Teachings of Don Juan: a Yaqui Way of Knowledge by Carlos Castaneda (1968) Take an enterprising anthropology student (Castaneda) and a Mexican shaman (Don Juan), mix in liberal quantities of peyote, and you end up with a text rooted in "nonordinary reality". Castaneda's multi-part account of his adventures, which started to appear in 1968, and includes lessons in how to fly and talk to coyotes, has always elicited queries as to its veracity. But when you’ve taken that many drugs, it may not matter.

Animal Farm; The only guy to make this list twice, Orwell's novel is an allegory in which animals play the roles of the Bolshevik revolutionaries and overthrow and oust the human owners of the farm, setting it up as a commune in which, at first, all animals are equal; class and status disparities soon emerge, however, between the different animal species. The novel describes how a society's ideologies can be manipulated and twisted by individuals in positions of social and political power, including how a utopian society is made impossible by the corrupting nature of the very power necessary to create it.

Brave New World; Although the novel is set in the future, it contains contemporary issues of the early 20th century. The Industrial Revolution was bringing about massive changes to the world. Mass production had made cars, telephones and radios relatively cheap and widely available throughout the developed world. The Russian Revolution of 1917 and the first World War (1914–1918) were resonating throughout the world.
Huxley was able to use the setting and characters from his futuristic fantasy to express widely held opinions, particularly the fear of losing individual identity in the fast-paced world of the future. An early trip to the United States gave Brave New World much of its character. Not only was Huxley outraged by the culture of youth, commercial cheeriness and inward-looking nature of many Americans,[2] he also found a book by Henry Ford on the boat to America. There was a fear of Americanisation in Europe, so to see America firsthand, as well as read the ideas and plans of one of its foremost citizens, spurred Huxley to write Brave New World with America in mind. The "feelies" are his response to the "talkie" motion pictures, and the sex-hormone chewing gum is parody of the ubiquitous chewing gum, which was something of a symbol of America at that time. In an article in the May 4, 1935 issue of Illustrated London News, G. K. Chesterton explained that Huxley was revolting against the "Age of Utopias" - a time, mostly before World War I, inspired by what H. G. Wells and George Bernard Shaw were writing about socialism and a World State.

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: an Inquiry into Values by Robert M Pirsig (1974) Burnt-out hippy takes son on bike trip. Remembers previous self: lecturer who had nervous breakdown contemplating Eastern and Western philosophy. Very bad course in Ordinary General Philosophy follows. If he’d done Greek at school and knew what "arête" meant, we could have been spared most of the 1970s.

You will notice that despite great temptation I did not include my book "The Plain Truth About God" (What the church doesn't want you to know!)in this list. Now that's what I call restraint!!!

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com

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Oh Shit! Yea..... and lots of it!

If you haven't heard it all by now, this will help you on the way!

A pile of dinosaur crap 130 million years old sold at a New York auction Wednesday for nearly $1,000.

The prehistoric deposit fetched $960, said a spokeswoman for Bonhams New York.

Its pre-auction estimate was $450.

The fossilized dung is from the Jurassic era, the auction house said. It looks like a rock on the outside and a colourful mineral inside.

The buyer was Steve Tsengas of Fairport Harbor, Ohio.

The 71-year-old owns OurPets, a company that sells products to treat dog and cat waste.

Tsengas bought the dung in hopes of motivating his employees and using it as a marketing tool by displaying it at the company's booth at trade shows, he said.

"Poop," he said, "is a big business in the pet industry."

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com

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CONNECTIONS!

Another in the riveting series about how and why things work the way they do!



Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com

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Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Rev. Wright is Wrong - Obama

It took him a while, but U.S. presidential hopefull Barak Obama has finaly made our "Winner of the Day!"

Democratic US presidential hopeful Barack Obama has expressed "outrage" yesterday at comments made by Rev Jeremiah Wright. He said that any relationship he had with his former pastor "has now changed" as a result of the comments.

Mr. Obama was responding to a series of recent public appearances by Rev Wright, in which the pastor refused to back down from the controversial statements made in his sermons.

In two recent speeches, to journalists and African-American activists, Mr Wright has attempted to hit back at his critics, saying that attacks on him were attacks on the black church and that his six years of service in the military was proof of his patriotism.

In his comments on Tuesday, Mr Obama said: "I believe that they do not portray accurately the perspective of the black Church.

They certainly don't portray accurately my values and beliefs."

"I am outraged by the comments that were made and saddened by the spectacle that we saw yesterday," Mr Obama told reporters.

The Illinois senator described Rev Wright's comments as "divisive and destructive" and said they "end up giving comfort to those that prey on hate".
Reverend Wright initially stayed silent when footage of old sermons containing politically-charged remarks were first circulated on television and online in March, but now that he has briefly held the spotlight it seems to have affected his rhetoric and his comments are getting more radical.

(In one clip, from a sermon delivered after the attacks of 11 September 2001, Mr Wright suggested that the US had brought the attacks on itself through its own foreign policy. And in a passage from a 2003 sermon, he said black Americans should condemn the US because of continuing racial injustice, saying: "God damn America for treating our citizens as less than human.")

"The person I saw yesterday was not the person that I met 20 years ago... Whatever relationship I had with Reverend Wright has changed as a consequence of this," Obama said.
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com

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All Together Now!

Four part harmony!

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com

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CONNECTIONS!

Another in the riveting series about how and why things work the way they do!



Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com

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Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Questions I have never been able to answer!

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum."

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on……. Yes, it caught me too!

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com

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Moons

The Moon comes in many different shapes and forms. Vote in the comments for your favorite!
Moon Shadow!
Blue Moon
New Moon!
Full Moon!
Stormy Moon!
Harvest Moon!
Twin Moons of Lucinda
Halloween Moon!












Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com

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How to tell if you are having a bad day!

If this is your neighbor, it's going to be a bad day
If you see this on your way to work, it's going to be a REALLY bad day!











Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com

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Lightning never strikes twice?

The chances of being struck by lightning are very slim; the chances of being struck by lightning twice (on different days) is seemingly impossible; so what are the odds of being struck by lightning seven times? With our world record holder, Roy Sullivan, the events happened as follows:

1942 - Sullivan was hit for the first time when he was in a lookout tower. The lightning bolt struck him in a leg and he lost a nail on his big toe.
1969 - The second bolt hit him in his truck when he was driving on a mountain road. It knocked him unconscious and burned his eyebrows.
1970 - The third strike burned his left shoulder while in his front yard.
1972 - The next hit happened in a ranger station. The strike set his hair on fire. After that, he began to carry a pitcher of water with him.
1973 - A lightning bolt hit Sullivan on the head, blasted him out of his car, and again set his hair on fire.
1974 - Sullivan was struck by the sixth bolt in a campground, injuring his ankle.
1977 - The seventh and final lightning bolt hit him when he was fishing. Sullivan was hospitalized for burns in his chest and stomach.

This is one guy to stay away from folks!

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com

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CONNECTIONS!

Another in the riveting series about how and why things work the way they do!



Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com

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Monday, April 28, 2008

Miley Cyrus says she is embarrassed!

Never trust politicians or people in the entertainment industry. Miley Cyrus said she is embarrassed by an apparently racy photo spread appearing in the upcoming issue of Vanity Fair. Yea right!

"I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be 'artistic' and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed," Cyrus said Sunday in a statement through her publicist. "I never intended for any of this to happen and I apologize to my fans who I care so deeply about."
The photos, appearing in the upcoming issue of Vanity Fair, were taken by Annie Leibovitz, a renowned celebrity photographer whose edgy, silver-toned portraits have included subjects such as Angelina Jolie, Scarlett Johansson and a naked, pregnant Demi Moore.

"I'm sorry that my portrait of Miley has been misinterpreted," Leibovitz said in a statement released by Vanity Fair. "Miley and I looked at fashion photographs together and we discussed the picture in that context before we shot it. The photograph is a simple, classic portrait, shot with very little makeup, and I think it is very beautiful."
The Cyrus pictures accompany an interview with the 15-year-old pop star and her father, singer Billy Ray Cyrus. One photo in particular is causing the biggest stir: the teen idol is wrapped in what appears to be a satin bedsheet, looking over her shoulder with her back exposed.

Vanity Fair defended the story and photo shoot in a statement of its own.

"Miley's parents and/or minders were on the set all day," the magazine said. "Since the photo was taken digitally, they saw it on the shoot and everyone thought it was a beautiful and natural portrait of Miley."
In a caption released by Vanity Fair with the photo, Cyrus expressed her comfort with how the apparently topless picture turned out.

"I think it's really artsy," she told the magazine at the time. "It wasn't in a skanky way. Annie took, like, a beautiful shot, and I thought that was really cool. That's what she wanted me to do, and you can't say no to Annie."
Cyrus is one of the biggest acts in the United States and is often considered a role model for young girls. Her "Best of Both Worlds" tour sold out arenas, and her successful 3-D concert film collected US$31.3 million in its opening weekend in February.

Now with her statements about the photo shoot raising public awareness it is guaranteed to be a hit as well!

As for her modesty, crocodile tears kids, crocodile tears!

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com

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CONNECTIONS!

Another in the riveting series about how and why things work the way they do!



Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com

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Pat tells it like it is!

Pat Condell has some pretty strong views and he might not be far off with some of them.





More of this can be found at "Live Leak" http://www.liveleak.com/

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com

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Islam has one hell of a P.R. problem in the West.

Whether it's deserved or not, Islam has one hell of a P.R. problem in the West.

Thanks to the example of a few, the many are being painted with an ugly brush, and they are not standing up and condemning what is wrong with radical Islam with enough conviction to satisfy most Westerners.

Here are a few opinions on Muslims that are becoming more common throughout North America and Europe and unfortunately, they are not entirely undeserved!



That was one opinion from England and several relevant points were made that should not be ignored by the general Muslim population.

Here is another from the States.

Subject: Professor Wichman

The story begins at Michigan State University with a mechanical engineering professor named Indrek Wichman who sent an e-mail to the Muslim Student's Association.

The e-mail was in response to the students' protest of the Danish cartoons that portrayed the Prophet Muhammad as a terrorist.

The group had complained the cartoons were 'hate speech.'

Enter Professor Wichman. In his e-mail, he said the following:

Dear Muslim Association,

As a professor of Mechanical Engineering here at MSU I intend to protest your protest.

I am offended not by cartoons, but by more mundane things like beheading of civilians, cowardly attacks on public buildings, suicide murders, murders of Catholic priests (the latest in Turkey ), burnings of Christian churches, the continued persecution of Coptic Christians in Egypt , the imposition of Sharia law on non-Muslims, the rapes of Scandinavian girls and women (called 'whores' in your culture), the murder of film directors in Holland, and the rioting and looting in Paris France.

This is what offends me, a soft-spoken person and academic, and many, many of my colleagues.

I counsel you dissatisfied, aggressive, brutal, and uncivilized Muslims to be very aware of this as you proceed with your infantile 'protests!'

If you do not like the values of the West - see the 1st Amendment - you are free to leave.

I hope for God's sake that most of you choose that option

Please return to your ancestral homelands and build them up yourselves instead of troubling Americans.

Cordially,

I. S. Wichman

Professor of Mechanical Engineering


As you can imagine, the Muslim group at the university didn't like this too well.

They're demanding that Wichman be reprimanded and the university impose mandatory diversity training for faculty and mandate a seminar on hate and discrimination for all freshmen

Now the local chapter of CAIR has jumped into the fray.

CAIR, the Council on American-Islamic Relations, apparently doesn't believe that the good professor had the right to express his opinion.

For it's part, the university is standing its ground in support of Professor Wichman, saying the e-mail was private, and they don't intend to publicly condemn his remarks.

There you have it bunky! Doesn't matter if the preceding statements were 100% true or just a bunch of horseshit, it's the "perception" that counts and this "perception" could lead to some nasty backlashes in the future unless the average Muslim does more to stand up and condemn the actions of the few!

Just as Communism (Marxism) has proven to be unworkable and been put on the ash-heap of history, so too must Multi-Culturalism be discarded as a very bad idea. -ED.


Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com

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Party, Party!

Comedian Craig Ferguson has come up with a new way of describing the Canada-U.S. relationship. The United States is the party, apparently, and Canada's the apartment above trying to quell all the mayhem.

Ferguson, who hosted the White House Correspondents Association annual dinner on Saturday, told the crowd of Washington and Hollywood luminaries that relatives suggested he move to Canada when he left his native Scotland.

But Ferguson, who recently became a U.S. citizen, said the United States looked like a lot more fun. "We're down here all dancing and they're up there saying: 'Can't you keep the noise down?"'

We're like: 'Come to the party, Canada, Mexico wasn't invited but they're coming anyways, so why don't you?'

Yea right! With our water and oil, having Canada at the party would be like having an open bar!

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com

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Sunday, April 27, 2008

Sunday Morning Funnies #73

An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is.

"I'm 90 years old," he says.

"90!" replies the woman. "Don't you realize you've had it?"

"Oh, sorry," says the old man, "how much do I owe you?"

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A guy is in line at the local Wal-Mart when he notices that a rather hot blonde behind him has just smiled "Hello" to him.

He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him... and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from... so he says... "Sorry... Do you know me?"

She replies, "I may be mistaken... but I thought you might be the father... of one of my children."

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful. "Holy crap...", he says, "are you that stripper from my bachelor party that I screwed on the pool table in front of all my friends.... while your girlfriend whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my behind?"

"No...", she replies, "I'm your son's teacher..."

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A young girl had not been feeling well and went to her family doctor.

"Young lady," the doctor began, "you're pregnant."

"But that can't be. The only men I've been with are nudists and in, our colony we practice sex only with our eyes."

"Well my dear," said the doctor, "someone in that colony is cockeyed."

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A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher.

The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk answers, "Yes, I am."

So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother, have you found Jesus?"

The drunk replies "No, I haven't found Jesus."

The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer this time. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus, my brother?"

The drunk again answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus."

By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the water again - but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.

The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus?"

The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

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A very shy guy goes into a pub on Valentine's Day night and sees a beautiful young woman sitting alone at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I brought you a drink?"

She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"

Everyone in the pub started staring at them. Naturally, the guy was terribly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table totally red faced.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm really sorry if I embarrassed you just then. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."

At this the guy responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean? $300?"

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://Allans-Perspective.blogspot.com

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Some People are Fucking Idiots!

I am not going to make many friends with this piece but it needs to be said.

Never mind all the arguments back and forth between the Darwinists and the Creationists! If you want a good indicator of who is right and who is wrong read this!

The previous article was a spoof on the evolution - creation debate called "People are not Animals." (Which of course we are!)

I distributed this piece to my two blogs, God-101/Perspective and Allans-Perspective plus to My Space, My Yahoo and Gather. From the large amount of mail I got back something came to light which both disturbed and saddened me.

Almost without exception every person who knew that Evolution/Darwinism was real recognized the article as "satire" and "sarcasm" and treated it as such. O.K.?

Now, EVERY person who BELIEVED in CREATIONISM, (without exception) thought the article was supporting their point of view and congratulated me on setting the record straight.

In other words they were too fucking stupid to realize they were getting their leg pulled!

But then again if they believed in Creationism in the first place what more could we expect from them!

What a shame!

(I will reproduce it here one more time! Special thanks to Edward Current for this!)



AND JUST FOR GOOD MEASURE, LET'S THROW THIS ONE IN AS WELL!



Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available at the web site www.God-101.com

AND FINALY, LET'S CONVERT TO EVERY RELIGION! (Just in case!)



Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://allans-perspective.blogspot.com

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