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Middle aged hetrosexual, WASP male. Middle of the road, reasonably sane and  reasonably employed.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

72 Virgins

Just so that we give everyone equal time I have to make one more quick comment on that asinine statement Pope Helmut 11 made about Catholicism being the one "true" faith.

That was an outright stupid, dumb, ignorant thing to say if his purpose was to reassure the flock or to try and bring someone else into the fold.

The Pope
And by the way, this isn't the first time he said something weird. Remember the "Islam is a religion of violence" thing.

It's one thing if someone like me slams Islam or Catholicism or Scientology or whatever. That's my job. But it's certainly not the Pope's job. He's there for leadership and it seems to be lacking.

Glad I'm not Catholic.

The only problem is that I don't really think he would be that careless, so there has got to be another motive behind it, but damned if I can figure out what it is.

Any ideas?

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Sorry folks, that was supposed to be a picture of the Pope up there....... not Popeye!

(Nice hat by the way!) -->


Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) at www.God-101.com

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Asshole of the Week!

We are going to give our "Asshole of the Week" award, and a loud fart, to the second woman to win it in the last few weeks!

A young woman (Bouchra El Hor) encouraged her husband to become a Muslim martyr, the Old Bailey Court in London heard. In a letter, she urged him to fight against non-believers and vowed that their baby son would follow in his footsteps.

The letter was read out to the jury trying El Hor, 24, for failing to disclose information on terrorism. Her husband Yassin Nassari, 28, is charged with having documents and data on terrorism. (Note: I find it hilarious that her name is El Hor!)

The couple, who had a five-month old son when they were detained in May, last year, deny the charges. Bouchra El Hor allegedly said in her letter: 'I am so proud of my husband. I am happy that Allah has granted you the chance to be a martyr.

'I am writing to let you know that you have my support and to remind you to be strong and do not let Satan influence you... to remind you that jihad is now compulsory and we are now obligated to protect Islam, to help our brothers and sisters to fight the kuffar [non-believer].

'Maybe one day I can follow you. If I can't, I will send our son to you so he can follow his father's footsteps.'

The letter was photocopied by police at Luton Airport when the couple's luggage was searched as they returned to Britain from Holland, jurors heard.

Aftab Jafferjee, prosecuting, said its true significance was recognised only after police analysed the hard drive of a computer seized at Nassari's home in Ealing, West London.

It was found to have instructions on how to make missiles and handle explosives.

He added: 'His wife was not only aware of his intention, but positively encouraged it – despite the fact that his actions would almost certainly result in his death in some form of combat, and would also result in their son being without a father.'

Yep, the award was well given this week, can't think of anyone that deserves it more!

Your "pass the ammunition" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) at www.God-101.com

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Saturday Morning Confusion!

Yes friends and neighbors it's time once again to have a look at all the stuff that goes on around us.

Ah, those crazy Aussies.

I have always had a soft spot in my heart for anyone that can stand up and say; "Every once in a while ya just gotta say, What the Fuck!"

A man has gone on a rampage in an army tank in Sydney Australia's West end overnight, destroying six mobile phone towers and an electricity sub-station.

Police Chief Inspector Guy Haberley says officers followed the tank through several suburbs as it left a path of destruction in its wake.

"The vehicle continued to other locations within the Mount Druitt local area command and continued to destroy mobile phone tower communications sheds by crashing through the perimeter fence and colliding with structures, causing significant damage," he said.

Police say the pursuit ended in Dean Park about 90 minutes later when the tank stalled as it was being driven towards another mobile phone tower.

(Not a word on where he got the tank in the first place!)

It’s not just Christians who find Jesus or the Virgin Mary on pieces of toast - a Muslim man from Bradford in England has found the arabic script for Allah, the Muslim God, on a chapatti.

He showed it to his stunned family and since then neighbours and members of the Muslim community have flocked to view it. All agree that the markings on the food appear to spell out the holy name.

Mr Iqbal said: “It was definitely an unusual event. A lot of religious leaders have come to check it and they have confirmed that it is very clearly the name of Allah in Arabic.

“In every other respect it is just a normal chapatti. We left it as it is, but unfortuantely, while no one was looking, the dog got a hold of it and ate it.”

I can well relate to this since I had my own miracle about ten years ago on a cold winters night in January.

As I was sitting in the living room watching television when the window started to frost up and as it did so an image of my next door (dead) neighbor George started to appear.

Amazed, I called my wife and she saw it too!

The next morning we called a guy from the paper to have a look but by the time he got there it had warmed up outside and the frost had melted.

This left us slightly embarassed but certainly fulfilled spiritualy since these are all matters of faith, and I had mine renewed! [sic]

A few elephants packed their trunks and left town.

Garden Bros. Circus is appearing through this weekend in Toronto.

Three Asian elephants, had a compound set up in the parking lot where they were cared for by trainer Billy Morris.

Morris said someone seems to have tripped over the power cord to the fence after he checked on the elephants just before 2:30 a.m. "The next thing I knew, the cops came to get me," he said. "Susie and Bunny had gone on the lam."

Susie wasn't far away, sampling the grass on the edge of the complex. Bunny kept going. A York Region Police dispatcher told patrol cars to be on the lookout for "one outstanding elephant . . . last seen heading north on Crossland Gate."

An officer radioed in that he had the "outstanding elephant" in view. "It's just eating someones tree."


That was Shu Mei's tree and Bunny made an untidy meal out of her lilies, too, scattering leaves around.

"It didn't wake me," she said. "My neighbour heard something, but she thought it was kids."

How do you get an elephant to stop eating and come home to bed?

"You just call their names and they'll follow you," Morris said. "They're good girls. It's probably best that no one was out on the sidewalk, but they wouldn't have hurt anyone. They love people."

Someone passing in a car spotted Susie and called police to say, "We've found an elephant."

"Sorry?" said the dispatcher, perhaps thinking it was one of those little pink ones that some people see. "How big are we talking here?"

Ian Garden, president and ringmaster of the Mississauga-based circus, said he believed this was the first elephant escape in its 70-year history.

"Obviously, you don't want elephants loose in the neighbourhood and we'll be taking steps to make sure this doesn't happen again," he said.

As Garden spoke, Morris was soaping up and hosing down the truants to get them ready for their two performances yesterday. The elephants lifted their feet, laid down and rolled over on command, opening their mouths for a drink from the hose and clearly enjoying being brushed behind their ears.

"My wife Carolina rides one of them in the ring," Garden said. "They're lovely, affectionate animals. And their dung makes very good fertilizer."

Shu Mei wasn't impressed.

"I didn't touch it," she said, ruefully eyeing her chewed-up lilies. "The circus sent someone to pick it up. They gave me tickets for the show. I'll see the elephants there."

Next, do we have..... an elderly man nearing death who wants to give something back to the world, or just a prankster?

The mystery of who is leaving envelopes of 10,000 yen ($82) bills in men's toilets at government offices around Japan has gripped the nation this week despite the existence of far weightier issues, such as a looming election.

Since April 9, some 4 million yen ($32,720) has been found in men's rooms from the northernmost island of Hokkaido to the southern island of Okinawa, Japanese media say.

Virtually all has been found in government office buildings.

The bills are individually wrapped in traditional Japanese "washi" paper with the word "remuneration" handwritten on the outside in ink.

Each comes with a handwritten letter in formal wording evoking Buddhist language, saying the giver hopes the money will be "useful for your pursuit of knowledge."

Newspapers have devoted lengthy articles to speculation about the identity of the unknown benefactor, and the mystery dominated evening news programs Wednesday. One domestic news agency even sent out urgent alerts as the number of bills found mounted.

The only thing everyone agrees on, given where the money is found, is that the person leaving them is a man.

THE LATEST IN FOOTWEAR TO HELP COPE WITH GLOBAL WARMING!
And finally, new studies have shown that people with a lot of MOLES seem to live a lot longer.......... and alone!

Your "confused as hell" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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Friday, July 13, 2007

Dancing Otter


WHEEEEEEEE!

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The Religious Spectrum.

We got yer basic Fundamentalists. Then thar's a bunch in between until ya git down to yer hard-core Atheist. Everyone's in there somewhere!

Personally I'm more of an Agnostic, but this video says a lot!


Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) at www.God-101.com

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FLIES!

Why aren't flies afraid of people? A lot of bigger things are!
(I sure wish they were! The little bastards!)

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Images that are "special"

Take a long hard look at the faces of these Washington men!
They live in the insular world of Washington. People that inhabit this world don't have a clue as to what the average American thinks!

Yet, these are the same men who are sitting around the "Iraq Study Group" and trying to figure out how the average Arab thinks and feels!!!

It's certainly no wonder things are so fucked up over there!

On a lighter note, I ran across this little gem I'd like to pass along.
I have absolutely no idea why I find this so funny, but I sure do!

Allan

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All Shook Up

Kim Jong-ill, glorious leader of North Korea has been embarrassed by foreign politicians.

It seems that at a party for visiting Chinese officials last week-end Glorious Leader lead a karaoke party where he sang a few of his favorite Elvis Presley songs.

The only problem was the Kin Jong-ill was used to a local crowd who would naturally applaud with great enthusiasm and tell him how wonderful he was.

Instead, these were Chinese officials who weren't that crazy about him to begin with and rather than the usual platitudes, he was greeted with a barrage of jeers and howls of laughter.

Apparently Kim baby was livid and next day North Korea's security agency ordered the shutdown of all karaoke bars, saying they are a threat to society, a South Korean newspaper reported Wednesday.

Refugees from the reclusive state say such outlets are largely located in the northern region that borders China and are frequented by merchants involved in cross-border business rather than ordinary citizens.

The North's Ministry of People's Security said in a directive that all karaoke bars, video-screening rooms and Internet cafes must shut immediately, the Dong-A Ilbo newspaper said.

Local officials could not be reached for comment. As a matter of fact unsubstantiated reports indicate that these people are no longer around at all.

Your "all the news" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!

I'm not sure if I have all my facts straight, but let me give it a try!

If the aim of a group Terrorists is to de-stabilize an area to get rid of someone, (like the U.S.) then perhaps they can accomplish their objectives with the use of terror to make the region unappealing to the occupiers.

If, one the other hand, the aim of terror is to overthrow an existing governing body (i.e. the Christian West or a local secular Government) then the thinking is totally wrong and absurd.

If the Muslim fundamentalists hope to achieve worldwide, or even regional implementation of their ideals and policies (Islamic Fundamentalism) through terror, then unless they have greater military power than the existing government they are seriously deluded.

(Of course how can you expect rational thought from someone who is willing to blow themselves up for a cause!)

Islamic fundamentalism will not be implemented through terror, rather the opposite will occur. The people who are being terrorized will eventually rise up and destroy the reactionaries and unfortunately everyone around them.

The policy is self defeating in the long run you idiots!!!

So there you have it, boys and girls, one of "Allan's simple rules of Politics and Religion!"

"You can't convert someone by punching them in the nose!"

Your "philosophical" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) at www.God-101.com

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Thursday, July 12, 2007

Random stuff!

We have all been subjected to asinine advertising on our e-mail, but I ran across one today that has to be noted for its strange eloquence.

As per usual for spam mail this one is about a penis enhancer, but it's an add with a difference! This one displays a simple elegance the immediately caught my eye.

"The most potent device known to make an Emperor out of you!"

If nothing else they get marks for originality!

Speaking of spam mail what is it with all those replica watches advertised on the Internet.

Doesn't anyone know the time?

Seems the e-mail spam can be divided into a few basic areas. I have noticed that over 90% of all mail is either about Viagra, Watches, Loans, Dick Strechers, (after you've taken the Viagra, of course!) Meds, Make Money deals or Lottery Winnings!

Shows what North America is concerned with!!!

Now, in the continuing sage of poor, deluded Judge Roy Pearson, we have this hot off the wire.

A customer who lost a $54 million lawsuit against a dry cleaner over a missing pair of pants on Wednesday asked a judge to reconsider the verdict.

Roy L. Pearson, a local administrative law judge, argued that District of Columbia Superior Court Judge Judith Bartnoff failed to address his legal claims when she ruled that the business owners did not violate the city's consumer protection law by failing to live up to his expectations of a "Satisfaction Guaranteed" sign once displayed in the store.

"The court effectively substituted a guarantee of satisfaction with 'reasonable' limits and preconditions for the unconditional and unambiguous guarantee of satisfaction the defendant-merchant chose to advertise for seven years," Pearson wrote. "That was a fundamental legal error."

The suit originally asked for $67 million.

The motion comes less than a week after the South Korean immigrant owners of Custom Cleaners asked the judge to order Pearson to cover $83,000 in legal fees.

"(The) Plaintiff's motives have been clear - quite simply, to harass Defendants and to attempt to utterly destroy their lives," attorney Christopher Manning wrote.

The case, which drew international attention, began in 2005 when Pearson became an administrative law judge and brought several suits for alterations to Custom Cleaners.

A pair of pants from one suit was missing when he requested it two days later. A week later, the Chungs said the pants had been found, but Pearson denied that they were his and decided to sue.

Roy is proving himself to not only be deluded and a bit crazy, but if he keeps this up he will be re-classified at a roaring lunatic.

If he hasn't already!

You "all the stuff that's important" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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Wednesday, July 11, 2007

IMAGES

Cat fight! With a right like this she could do in a lot of guys.

Faces of Meth. When I was a teenager we had a saying; "SPEED KILLS"




Not very pretty, but neither is meth. So, let's get you happy again!

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SoThere!

Scientology is evil; its techniques are evil; its practice is a serious threat to the community, medically, morally, and socially.

Its adherents are sadly deluded and often mentally ill…

Scientology is the world’s largest organization of unqualified persons engaged in the practice of dangerous techniques which masquerade as mental therapy.

- Justice Anderson, Supreme Court of Victoria, Australia, quoted at "What judges have to say about Scientology."

So there!- Allan

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) at www.God-101.com

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Cults

Not only has the Pope got a problem, Gary Beals has one too!

(Gary's got the bigger problem!)

He had been tormented for years by voices in his head but he had always shunned his parents advice to seek psychiatric care.

On March 15, 1989, the 32-year-old grabbed a butcher knife and stabbed his mother Lawana before turning the knife on his dad.

Bleeding from her injuries, Mrs Beals tried to defend her husband before fleeing the house and calling police.

Arthur Beals was dead by the time authorities arrived.

Three years later, Beals, having pled “guilty but mentally ill” to manslaughter, appeared before a parole board hearing where he blamed his religious affiliation for his actions leading up to the murder.

Beals said he had been advised by the Church of Scientology against seeking therapy for his mental illness.

According to him, the organisation’s members talked him out of accessing psychological help while “bleeding dry” his bank accounts.

Remember, in the book "The Plain Truth About God-101" I talked about how I saw Ron Hubbard when he was at the Toronto "Org" (Organization) in about 1967.

I don't know what they were talking about but I heard the head of the Toronto chapter say to Hubbard; "Ron, we can't tell them (members) that! They're not stupid you know!" To which Hubbard replied; "Let's just see how stupid they really are!"

That was not only an immediate end to my brief foray into Scientology, but most other organized religions as well.

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) at www.God-101.com

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Poor Pope!

Well, the Pope went and done it, and he done it good!

I realize that the Catholic Church is a two thousand year old institution, and they don't change fast, but this is the sort of idiotic, archaic thinking that I rant and rave about in my book "The Plain Truth About God-101" (What the Church doesn't want you to know!)

The Vatican issued a document yesterday restating its belief that the Catholic Church is the only true church of Jesus Christ.

It says although Orthodox churches are true churches, they are defective because they do not recognize the primacy of the Pope. (Ha, see what I mean? He's taking this personally!)

"It follows that these separated churches and communities, though we believe they suffer from defects, are deprived neither of significance nor importance in the mystery of salvation," it said.

The document adds that Protestant denominations — called Christian Communities born out of the Reformation — are not true churches, but ecclesiastical communities.

Well, that's going to be a hell of a disappointment to my Lutheran Mother.

Poor Catholic Church is still pissed because King Henry and Martin Luther gave them a hard time about five hundred years ago.

This is the type of church you want to follow?

Not me!

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) at www.God-101.com

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Back

Just had a long weekend off! Apparently I had a great time. Will start to write again tomorrow.

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