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Middle aged heterosexual, WASP male. Semi retired, semi-sane and semi-serious. And endangered species and I'm not going quietly!!!!

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Questions for "Perspective!"

As we start the Fall Season, I would like to remind you that if you have any questions, or need any information about something you see in an article here in "Perspective," do not hesitate to contact one of our professional staff members! There is someone on duty 24/7.
Allan W Janssen

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Good Old Days

Next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children - last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."

Houses had thatched roofs - thick straw, piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the dogs, cats and other small animals (mice, rats, and bugs) lived in the roof.

When it rained it became slippery, and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof, hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt, hence the saying "dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (the straw left over after threshing grain) on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they kept adding more and more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. To prevent this, a piece of wood was placed in the entrance way - hence a "thresh hold."

They cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been there for quite awhile, -- hence the rhyme, "peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man "could bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with a high acid content caused some of the lead to leach on to the food, causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Most people did not have pewter plates, but had trenchers (a piece of wood with the middle scooped out like a bowl). Often trenchers were made from stale bread that was so old and hard that they could use them for quite some time. Trenchers were never washed and a lot of times worms and mold got into the wood and old bread. After eating off wormy, moldy trenchers, one would get "trench mouth."

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, "the upper crust."

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up hence, the custom of holding a "wake."

England is old and small and they started out running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, one out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell.

Thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered "a dead ringer." And that's the truth.

Who said that History is boring!?

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com

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Iraqi Insurgents.

Funny Terrorist Interview! - Click here for more home videos

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com

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Asshole of the week! #72

Asshole of the week trophy and a loud fart go to Andy Dick when David Stroupe said he had one of the worst experiences with a performer in the history of the Funny Bone Comedy Club when Dick appeared there. (I remember seeing Andy Dick on a Celebrity Roast a few months ago and thinking what an asshole he was.)

Stroupe, the club's managing partner, said the 41-year-old actor-comedian made inappropriate comments while on stage, groped patrons, took women into the men's room and urinated on the floor and on at least one person.

A limousine driver was to meet Dick early Monday morning at a hotel near the club, Stroupe said, but he couldn't be found and missed that morning's flight to Los Angeles.

Dick was across town, where he was issued a citation for urinating on the sidewalk by Columbus policeman John Fantin.

Police eventually escorted Dick back to the hotel, Stroupe said.

Dick's manager, Max Burgos, did not immediately respond Friday to phone and e-mail messages by The Associated Press seeking comment.

Dick is scheduled to appear Thursday in Franklin County Municipal Court, but instead could pay a $126 fine and court costs for the misdemeanor offense, a court employee said.

What a Dick!

Your "hush, hush and on the Q.T." scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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Saturday Morning Confusion. # 133

Here it is Saturday Morning and I'm in my normal state of confusion. I sit here on this long weekend holiday wondering what the hell the world is coming to!

I have always hated the way kids now dress in "gangsta" clothes with their pants around their ass and underwear hiked up half a foot higher.

Why a bunch of middle class suburban white kids want to emulate ghetto black kids is beyond me but the city elders in Atlanta have apparently had enough and passed a city ordinance banning "gangsta" clothing because it makes it too easy to hid drugs and weapons in the clothing.

This harkens back to the 30's and 40's when zoot-suits were banned for the same reason. (I would ban them too, but on the grounds of good taste if nothing else.)

Now, along the same sort of line, but something that has greater implications for most of middle-class America.

I talked about how the police are an institution unto themselves and seem to be able to operate with impunity and total disregard for the very laws they are sworn to uphold. Well we have just as big a problem D.A.'s and Assistant D.A.'s in most areas.

Not only are these people prosecuting offenders with an eye to winning a conviction whether there is evidence of guilt or not, they have now sunk to a new low of exaggerating or even fabricating charges and evidence for the purpose of career advancement or political gain.

Two recent examples of this are first of all the case of Conrad Black and how how was supposedly looting the coffers of a Chicago newspaper out of millions of dollars when in fact he was for the most part following normally accepted business practises.

On top of that, most of what he was charged with happened in Canada, where there was no question of it's legality, but they decided to twist some American laws to gain an indictment and then a conviction.

(There were fourteen or so charges they threw against the wall to see what would stick. Three of them did.)

This was all done for purely political reasons (It's open season on businessmen after the Enron and WorldCom scandals so this time let's get a Canadian businessman) and because of this ol' Conrad might be spending quite a few years in the slammer.

What's even worse is that they confiscated thirty or forty million dollars of his own money to make it more difficult for him to pay his lawyers. These are dirty tricks to the max, especially since the eventual money concerned (and under appeal) amounted to some 2-3 million.

Then there is the case of Michael Vick and his trial by media for being involved in dogfighting. This is an excerpt from Barbara Amiel about that trial. (By the way, Barbara is the wife of Conrad Black!)

The fact of dogfighting is not really this issue here but rather how the US prosecutors handled it. They made political hay out of it to the point of being ridiculous.

Three other accused copped ples bargains because they were not celebrities and they all pointed the finger at Vick. (And gave him the finger!)

Prosecutors then hovered with new indictments if Vick himself didn't agree with a plea bargain.

Whether of not you have feelings about dog-fighting, and personally I think it vile, watching the pit bull tactics of American Justice makes dogfighting look sedate. Vick gave in.

"This has already cost him hundreds of thousand in lawyers' fees," said one legal commentator. "A trial would cost him millions!"

It takes a hero or a madman to fight the US Department of Justice, and Vick's lawyers were neither. I can't blame them.

A gambling conviction would have outlawed him from the NFL for life. Just as bad, the superseding indictment was expected to contain RICO charges. (Racketeering and Corrupt Organizations Act.)

That's a killer. RICO sentences are up to 20 years per charge and damages can be tripled.

Theoretically designed to prevent organized crime, RICO is now used for just about everything but.

"The real purpose of invoking the RICO statutes," writes William L Anderson, adjunct scholar of the Ludwis von Mises Institure, "is to employ a legal weapon so powerful that few people can avoid being crushed by it!"

As Anderson points out, a RICO charge can freeze an accused's assets pre-trial, leaving him no money for a proper defence.

Within a week, Vick pleaded guilty to one charge in exchange for fingering other people.

That this approach to justice is an outrage seems a matter of indifference to Americans!
So my friends, the long and short of it seems to be that you can get screwed over coming and going in the American justice system.

It's not only the cops you have to watch out for it's the prosecutors as well............. and then your own lawyer......... that he doesn't just take your money and plead you out.

Bet you won't see that on "Law and Order!"

Your "litigious" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at http://www.god-101.com/

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Friday, August 31, 2007

North Korean Hotline!

In our series on the continuing adventures of fearless Leader Kim Jong-ill we have word that senior envoys from the US and North Korea are set to meet in Geneva next week to finally discuss normalizing relations. The talks follow a multilateral deal in February, in which Pyongyang was promised aid and diplomatic benefits if it disabled its nuclear programme.

The US is expected to seek assurances no uranium enrichment is taking place, while North Korea wants to be removed from the US list of terrorism sponsors. Analysts say the two sides are still far from resolving their differences.

Meanwhile, the eldest son of Kim Jong-il, the North Korean leader, is reported to have returned home after several years in exile in a move that has raised speculation over a possible power succession.

Kim Jong-nam, 36, has taken on an influential post in the ruling communist party, South Korea's Chosun Ilbo said on Monday.

Kim Jong-nam was widely believed to have fallen out of favour in 2001 after he was caught entering Japan on a fake passport saying he wanted to visit Tokyo Disneyland. (He was given diplomatic immunity while the two hookers with him were expelled.)

The publicity – and ridicule- the case attracted was said to have embarrassed his father, and the younger Kim has since spent most of his time living in China and the gambling enclave of Macau.

Meanwhile, with grey apartment blocks, bugged hotel rooms, an erratic electricity supply and rumours of a secret nuclear arsenal - North Korea is not every one's idea of a perfect holiday destination. But plenty of South Koreans signed up for their first chance to visit the North's capital Pyongyang this week, and they are not the only tourists trekking to this isolated communist state.

North Korea is also one of the world's most secretive nations. For a North Korean, contact with a foreigner can land one in jail… or worse.

But, there is one embarrassing secret that is hard for the government to hide, literally.

It's the Ryugyong Hotel in the Potong District of North Korea's capital city of Pyongyang. It's difficult to hide because it's a massive, 105-story structure which dominates the city's skyline.

It's an embarrassment because it's a complete engineering failure… its empty, dilapidated husk lurks over the capital, mocking the citizens of the proud country.

The Ryugyong or "Capital of Willows" Hotel stands 1,083 feet tall, and it was planned to have 3,000 rooms and seven revolving restaurants. It has a total of 3.9 million square feet of floor space.

The hotel would be the tallest hotel and seventh largest building in the world if it were finished. It would also have been the first building with over one hundred floors outside of New York or Chicago.

The first event scheduled to be held at the hotel was June 1989's World Festival of Youth and Students. The hotel was nowhere near ready for that event.

Its construction was plagued with problems, and after five years construction completely ground to a halt due to a shortage of everything… especially funding and electricity.

Work on the hotel has never resumed; the project was abandoned, leaving a lonely construction crane perched on its peak.

Today, few North Koreans are willing to discuss the hotel with outsiders. The hotel, which was once found on city maps before the construction even began, has now been completely stricken from the official maps. Tour guides usually claim not to know where it is.

Either a majority of the country is in a state of denial about the whole thing, or they avoid the subject for fear of reprisal. Since the government's embarrassing monument is visible from practically every point in the city, it's most likely the latter.

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at http://www.god-101.com/

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Up, Up and Away! Shuttle Launch.

Launch of the Shuttle taken from the International Space Station!

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at http://www.god-101.com/

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Dino went to heaven!

Finally, the mystery of what happened to the Dinosaurs has been revealed.

After years of exhaustive study, scientists have discovered a whole bunch of stuff that was previously unknown about the great Saurian's of long ago!

Some of the remarkable findings were that dinosaurs were warm blooded, not cold.
They were possessed of a great intelligence, perhaps even surpassing our own.
They had an advanced civilization that, while not technical, was very advanced spiritually.

Scientists have discovered that the great Dinosaurs disappeared 65 million years ago, not in some great natural catastrophe, but rather during a Saurian "Rapture" where the believers among them were taken by God to "Vastool" and the rest thrown into Hell.

This would also account for the fact that there are so few skeletal remains compared to the millions of individuals on the planet at the time!

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at http://www.god-101.com/

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I Swear I'm not Lying

Somehow I just know you're not going to believe this. A lot of you will say, "Jesus H Christ, Janssen's spinning another tale," and others will say, "you can't believe a word the s.o.b. says," but I swear on my kids life that this is true!

I was just reading about Jehovah's Witnesses.

You might remember I told you that my sister-in-law is a Witness and they sometimes drive around during the day and try to decide which nice house they will live in once the rapture comes and all the non-faithful are whisked away to God knows where.

Well, something much, much stranger than that has come to my attention.

Now I gotta tell ya again that I'm not making this up, O.K.?

Let's say there is a 30 year old guy and he has a six year old daughter or son. With me so far?

Now, the kid gets leukemia or some such thing and a simple blood transfusion would save their life. (Blood transfusions have got to be the simplest medical procedure there is!)

Does he grab the kid and rush him/her to the hospital so they can still make it to the grandma's house for a visit on the weekend. Do they? Huh?


Apparently, God told them, "no transfusions" and rather than break this law they are prepared to .................... are you ready for this? LET THE KID DIE!!!!!!

(There goes the trip to Grandma's!)

I told you that it sounded nuts and you wouldn't believe me, but I swear I didn't make this up!

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at http://www.god-101.com/

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Be Thankful for NORMAL Friends

O.K. kids, here's the poop. If your mother starts getting on your back about your WEIRD freinds, just show her these. That'll shut her up!

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Thursday, August 30, 2007

Last Spinach Supper.

A lot of interesting "Popeye" themed stuff. Simply go HERE to see the rest of them.

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at http://www.god-101.com/

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Rim Shot!

A bit of financial news, not only because it's interesting, but because this company is just down the road from here and a darling of the business community in S. W. Ontario and across Canada for that matter.

Shares of Research In Motion Ltd. are climbing on rumours that the BlackBerry maker may be bought by software giant Microsoft Corp. and it's all because of that cute little blackberry like the one I have sitting on my desk.

"Microsoft has been mentioned as a possible buyer," Frederic Ruffy, an analyst at options education firm Optionetics, said yesterday.

"According to speculation, the software giant might be interested in RIM in response to Google's recent announcement that it is interested in making its own mobile phone operating system, which would compete with Windows Mobile."

Both Waterloo, Ont.-based RIM and Redmond, Wash.-based Microsoft declined to comment on the rumours. RIM's current market capitalization is about $50 billion, which would make a purchase of the company expensive.

Microsoft, however, has deep pockets.

Industry analysts have pegged Microsoft at a disadvantage in the cellphone market against its two main rivals, Apple and Google.

Apple entered the mobile market in June with its iPhone, while rumours continue about Google doing the same with a possible announcement as early as next week.

RIM said it added 1.2 million BlackBerry subscribers in the quarter, bringing its total base to more than nine million.

Your "financial whiz kid" scribe;

Allan W Janssen

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at http://www.god-101.com/

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Kenya: Mob Chops Off Pastor’s Genitals

A pastor is fighting for his life after protesting villagers mutilated his genitals. (They cut off his balls!) This article is also known as; "Don't fuck with the locals!"

The mob was bitter that a man, who the preacher had promised to cure through prayer, died during the ‘healing.’

On Monday evening, villagers burnt the pastor’s church, locally known as Oterona in Gesiaga village, Nyamira District, but the evangalist escaped. Police said the villagers caught up with the man in his hideout.

The preacher was admitted to Nyamira District Hospital where superintendent, Dr Morris Odhiambo, described the pastor’s condition as stable, but declined to comment further.

Residents said the sect does not believe in conventional medicine and local OCPD, Mr Joseph Kimeli, said no arrests had been made.

(If anyone's wondering, this is the reason I will never go do missionary work!)

Your "stay at home" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at http://www.god-101.com/

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Wednesday, August 29, 2007


I'm NOT a Morning Person!

I woke early one morning
The earth lay cool and still
When suddenly a tiny bird
Perched on my window sill.

He sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay
That slowly all my troubles
Began to slip away

He sang of far off places
Of laughter and of fun
It seemed his very trilling
Brought up the morning sun.

I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed
Then quickly shut the window
And crushed his fucking head.

I Repeat......
I'm NOT a Morning Person!

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at http://www.god-101.com/

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Here's Looking at You, Kid!

Carlos Miranda

Pope Bean I

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at http://www.god-101.com/

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Random Stuff!

O.K. Enough with the inspirational shit, let's get down to some good ol' trippy shit!

The usual amount of weird shit happened this week and I thought some of it deserved a comment or two!

We have our "Asshole of the week" feature on Saturday's along with "Saturday Morning Confusion," but this week I also have a "Man of the Day" candidate.

A French tax official (un-named) cheated the government out of 600,000 euros ($820,000) by creating a phantom identity as a university professor and claiming a salary for some 15 years, the government said Monday.

Education Ministry officials uncovered the scam in June and began legal and disciplinary action immediately, Budget Minister Eric Woerth said in a statement. He said he; "Desired action to be undertaken urgently to prevent a recurrence of an abuse of this kind."
Any guy that can create a fictional University Professor and then collect his salary for 15 years gets my vote for most balls!

Next, a new twist to the term "chrome dome!"

A German court has awarded 3,000 euros ($4,500) in damages to a man who had to have the top of his skull replaced with plastic because of a faulty hospital fridge.

Doctors removed the top of the man's head and put it in cold storage while they operated on his brain, the court in the western city of Koblenz said Tuesday.

Because the refrigerator was defective, the section of skull was not kept cool enough and could not be reattached.

Doctors replaced the bone with a plastic prosthesis.

The man sought compensation of at least 20,000 euros on the grounds that the prosthesis caused him headaches, affected his balance and made him unduly sensitivity to the weather.

Following consultations with experts, the court found that the operation had caused the man's discomfort, not the loss of the top of his skull. "The experts consulted by the court concluded the new skull roof was better than the original," a court spokesman said.
Compensation of 3,000 euros was "appropriate and sufficient," it said.

Do you remember that Bitch Leona Helmsley? This is the woman who was often referred to as the "Queen of Mean!" She died recently.

Well........... Leona Helmsley's dog will continue to live an opulent life, and then be buried alongside her in a mausoleum. But two of Helmsley's grandchildren got nothing from the late luxury hotelier and real estate billionaire's estate.

Helmsley left her beloved white Maltese, named Trouble, a $12 million trust fund, according to her will, which was made public Tuesday in surrogate court.

She also left millions for her brother, Alvin Rosenthal, who was named to care for Trouble in her absence, as well as two of four grandchildren from her late son Jay Panzirer — so long as they visit their father's grave site once each calendar year.

Otherwise, she wrote, neither will get a penny of the $5 million she left for each.

Helmsley left nothing to two of Jay Panzirer's other children — Craig and Meegan Panzirer — for "reasons that are known to them," she wrote.

Now, the latest hush, hush and on the Q.T. word out of N.A.S.A. is that there were NO astronauts who flew drunk!

After an exhaustive investigation they concluded that there was no basis for these claims. Well what did you expect?

Did anyone actually believe that NASA would allow anyone with the smell of booze on their breath to get in a rocket?

This makes for a great "Urban Myth" but for it to be so good that NASA considered it plausible and did an investigation is incredible!

And finally; I like Owen Wilson! I really do! But, when it comes down to successful and unsuccessful suicide attempts, I wish that Richard Jeni had botched his and Owen Wilson hadn't.

Your Humble Scribe;
Allan W Janssen

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com

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The Secret to the Secret of the Secret!

is 90 percent Perspiration and 10 percent Inspiration - C L I C K - H E R E !

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com

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Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Cop This!

Cops, unfortunately, are a necessary evil.

Society needs cops to protect us from criminals and violence, while at the same time there is nobody to protect us from the cops. The whole problem stems from the fact that while an officer of the law is sworn to uphold that law, he or she very quickly starts to assume that they ARE the law.

This is a very dangerous situation and one that I'm not sure there is a cure for!

A North Carolina couple who were terrorized by a police officer who had recently returned from Iraq are now fighting back, after sheriff's deputy Brian Scarborough broke into their house, assaulted them and then arrested the Kuhns for the crime of flying an upside down U.S. flag.

Mark and Deborah Kuhn of Asheville, North Carolina made headlines last week when they were arrested for flying an upside down U.S. flag, a commonly recognized sign of distress, in their backyard, after police claimed they were violating a statute for "desecration of the flag".

"This is a distress signal, we're not trying to desecrate the flag," Kuhn told Scarborough when he told the couple they were violating a statute. Police claimed the messages attached to the flag were the problem, but the notes merely pointed out that the upside down flag represented a distress signal and a warning that the country was in danger.

Even though Kuhn took the flag down, the officer immediately demanded that the couple show their ID's and when they refused told them to put their hands behind their back and was about to arrest them before the couple shut and locked the door.

Scarborough then proceeded to kick the door in, "And the next thing we know, the glass is flying, he unlocks the deadbolt and he comes into our house after us," Kuhn told The Alex Jones Show.

The officer then pursued Mark Kuhn through the house before intercepting him in the kitchen and putting him in a choke hold.

Deborah Kuhn called 911 to report that the officer had broken into the home and was assaulting her husband.

The officer then pulled out pepper spray to which Mark Kuhn responded, "Are you going to spray me in my house?" before Scarborough whipped out his billy club and the Kuhn's ran out of the house into the street, pleading for help from their neighbors.

"Nine police cars showed up, they whipped out the Tasers, they said 'get down or we're gonna Taser you' added Kuhn.

The couple were handcuffed, arrested and bundled into a squad car, to the protests of numerous neighbors who demanded to know why the Kuhns were being incarcerated, but were told to leave by police.

Contradicting the police's account of the incident, that Buncombe County Sheriff’s deputy Brian Scarborough was injured when the Kuhn's slammed the door on his hand, Deborah Kuhn vehemently maintains that Scarborough smashed the glass of their door with his bare fist before breaking in, a description which is backed up by three other eyewitnesses, one of which appeared on TV later that day.

The Kuhn's are now also being charged with "assault on a government employee" - meaning that the new definition of assault is if a police officer cuts his hand by breaking into your house and putting you in a choke hold - you have assaulted him.

Scarborough claims that Deborah Kuhn slapped him while she was on the phone to the police, but the audio file of the call clearly contradicts this.

They each face over a year in prison.
The Kuhn's case is similar in many ways to that of Kelly Rushing, a man from Lyon County Kentucky, who was arrested and charged for handing out videotapes of Ron Paul videos to police officers. Rushing was later found not guilty of the offence of "terroristic threats" but continues to be harassed by police.

It also mirrors the case of an Alabama man, who was arrested in 2004 for displaying a sign in his yard that read "Our Courts System is a Joke," under the pretext that it was illegal to criticize the authorities.

I urge all readers readers to call the following number and remind the officials concerned that that they are not living in Russia or Nazi Germany, and that officer Scarborough's conduct was shameful and an insult to everything America is supposed to stand for.

Scarborough's experience in Iraq of kicking down doors and taking innocent people to camps is not something that should be brought back to North America, and the charges against the Kuhns should be dropped immediately along with a formal apology issued.

Sheriff Van Duncan's Office: 828-250-4503

Allan W Janssen

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