Saturday, January 27, 2007

Liberal or Conservative?

Are you another Regan or Clinton? Stalin or Gandhi?
Churchill or Hitler? Nelson Mandela or Saddam Hussein?

Are you a Fiscal Conservative or a Free Spending Liberal????

Is it abortion on demand or the death penalty as necessary?

In other words are you Left or Right, Up or Down, or just sort of a Stuck in the Center type of person?

Take a few of the tests below and find out where you really stand!

Where do you stand Politically? Political Compass

Or, take the test I have displayed down the left side of this page:
How Liberal or Conservative are You?

Personality Test!

Are You a Blurter or a Brooder?

Finally, take the ultimate test; THE MORALITY TEST!

Your "stand up and be counted" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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Friday, January 26, 2007

What a day for a bike ride!

Amazing what you can do now with a little computer work!
(Mom said; "How did they ride that small ledge without falling off???")
(I said; "The same way you get into Carnegie Hall Mom.... Practice!")

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Never give up. Even Moses was a basket case!!!

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) www.God-101.com

<-- Look over on this side for a FREE PDF copy!


Here's Looking at You, Kid!

Ronald Dotson, of Detroit Michigan, has a strange hobby. Good ol' Ron seems to have a compulsion to break and enter places and was just sentenced to up to 30 years in prison for being a habitual criminal.

Ron's latest arrest came just a week after he had been paroled for his sixth B and E conviction in the last 13 years.

This by itself is not entirely strange, but where it starts to get weird is that all these burglaries were for the purpose of stealing mannequins!

His latest "heist" occurred in October after police in Royal Oak spotted him near a smashed store-front window with a mannequin dressed as a "French Maid!"

Police said they gave chase and found him in an alley behind a women's clothing store with three mannequins dressed in lingerie!

At his sentencing Ron yelled out to the Judge; I claim insanity! I'm just crazy about those mannequins!

Your "get em while their hot" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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Thursday, January 25, 2007

Oldest person in the world dies at 115.

A man recognized as the world's oldest person, Emilliano Mercado del Toro of San Juan died at his home yesterday at the age of 115. (Picture taken a few days ago when he said: Look at me! I've outlived every single S.O.B. on this planet!)

The previous record holder, 115 year old Chine Yun Hay of Beijing China, died one and a half weeks ago of apparent old age. Relatives said; "She just plain wore out!"

Prior to this, 115 year old Carlo Estevaro held the record but he passed away between Christmas and New Years ...........

......after taking the title from Audrey Langston of Birmingham England who passed in the middle of December after holding the distinction for only three days!

Our current record holder is now a 114 year old woman in Connecticut, U.S.A. Emma Faust Tillman. When asked how long she expects to be the oldest person Emma was heard to wheeze;
"I don't know, but I'm sure as hell not holding my breath!"

Your "don't make any plans for spring break" scribe;
Allan W Janssen


Bombs Away!

If you think it can't happen, think again!

A statement has been released by authorities in the ex-Soviet republic of Georgia.

Aided by the CIA, they set up a sting operation last summer that led to the arrest of a Russian man who tried to sell a small amount of nuclear-bomb grade uranium from a plastic bag in his inside jacket pocket, officials said. (Did he think he was selling watches?)

The arrest underscored concerns about the possibility of militants acquiring nuclear bomb-making material on the black market, although there was no suggestion that happened in this particular case.

"Given the serious consequences of the detonation of an improvised nuclear explosive device, even small numbers of incidents involving HEU [highly enriched uranium] or plutonium are of very high concern," said Melissa Fleming of the world's nuclear watchdog, the United Nation's International Atomic Energy Agency.

Details of the investigation, which also involved the U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation and the U.S. Energy Department, were provided to the media by U.S. officials and Georgian Interior Minister Vano Merabishvili.

Authorities say they do not know how the man acquired the nuclear material or whether his claims of access to much larger quantities were true. He and three Georgian accomplices are in Georgian custody and not co-operating with investigators.

According to his account, during an investigation in South Ossetia, a Georgian undercover agent posing as a rich foreign buyer made contact with the Russian seller in North Ossetia, which is part of Russia.

The man was arrested and sentenced to eight to 10 years in prison on smuggling charges. His accomplices were sentenced on lesser charges.

Russian authorities took a sample of the material but failed to offer any assistance despite requests for help from the Georgians, Merabishvili said.

Georgian attempts to trace the nuclear material since the arrest and confirm whether the man had access to larger quantities have foundered due to a lack of co-operation from Russia. (Russia has tense relations with Georgia, which has been troubled by Russia's support for separatists in two breakaway Georgian border regions, Abkhazia and South Ossetia.)

Merabishvili said that he was revealing the story out of frustration with Russia's response and the need to illustrate the dangers of a breakdown in security co-operation in the region.

A message left with the press office of the Russian Embassy was not returned. A duty officer at the Russian Foreign Ministry told the Associated Press that there was no one authorized to comment on Wednesday night.

The Georgians then asked for U.S. assistance. Agents from the FBI and the Energy Department took the material back to the United States, where it was tested by the Energy Department's National Nuclear Security Administration.

"The material was analyzed by agency nuclear experts and confirmed to be highly enriched uranium," said Bryan Wilkes, a spokesman for the agency.

None of the U.S. officials would confirm the exact weight of the seizure or its quality, but Merabishvili said it was about 100 grams of uranium enriched by more than 90 per cent.

Uranium enriched at 90 per cent is weapons grade but the quantity was not nearly enough for an actual bomb. (They would need about 100X as much!)

The Central Intelligence Agency declined to comment on the case. FBI spokesman Richard Kolko confirmed that the FBI was involved in the investigation and called it a success, but he would not provide further details either.

Your "duck and cover" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Anna Nichole Smith

Just had a thought!

Anna Nichole Smith is indicative of what the hell's the matter with America! (And Canada!)

End of Story!

Your "just the poop ma'me" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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John Kerry

John Kerry, who plucked defeat from the jaws of victory in the 2004 presidential campaign, announced that he will not run again in 2008.

I seem to recall that he was not on my list of candidates who would be running for President, so I am glad to see he got the message!

Your Pal Al!


"On the Air"

I spent many of my younger years in radio.

Up and down the dial, etc. You know, just like WKRP in Cincinnati.

Over the course of an all too short career I was fortunate enough to work in Toronto, CKLW in Detroit/Windsor, and CKLG in Vancouver.

Some of the people I admired and tried to emulate were such notables of "Top 40" radio like Cousin Brucie at "77 WABC," New York. Dick Biondie, New York. Bill Bailey, "WLS, Chicago," Wolfman Jack. The Real Don Steele, Robert W Morgan and Charlie Tuna, KHJ Los Angeles. Brother Bill Gable, CKLW Detroit. and John "Records" Landecker, Chicago.

These top 40 Disc jockeys were the hero's of my youth but two people that really made the biggest impression on me were talk show hosts J.P. McCarthy on WJR in Detroit and Peter Gzowski on the CBC.

For anyone living in the Great Lakes area their daily programs provided many hours of thoughtful and provocative entertainment.

All I can say about them is that they were two of the finest radio personalities I have ever heard and today marks the fifth anniversary of Peter's death as well as about the same amount of time since J.P.'s passing.

They will be missed by their many fans!
(Smoking got them both!)

Your "live on location" Scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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Neil Macdonald on the anatomy of a smear job!

Early last week, an e-mail circulated among a loose network of like-minded voters here in the Washington area. They routinely trade humour, news alerts and commentary on subjects dear to their political hearts, especially anything related to Islam.

This particular alert, titled "A little scary to think about," was about Senator Barack Obama, the mixed-race, preternaturally charismatic Illinois Democrat who is gearing up to run for his party's presidential nomination.

Beware, said the e-mail: "Obama takes great care to conceal the fact that he is a Muslim."

It went on to explain that the Senator's birth father, a Kenyan, was a Muslim — something Obama has clearly acknowledged in his own autobiographical writings. (His mother was a white Kansan or, as the e-mail put it, "a white atheist.")

The e-mail then "revealed" something else Obama has acknowledged: When he was a young boy, his mother remarried an Indonesian man and Obama attended a predominantly Muslim school, as well as a Catholic school, in Jakarta.

The e-mail, though, upped the political ante. Obama's stepfather, it said, was a "radical Muslim."

"Osama," it read, shifting the spelling of Obama's name, "was enrolled in a Wahhabi school in Jakarta."

Wahhabists, of course, are the Saudi fundamentalists who chart the harshest, most aggressive path of Sunni Islam and seek to export that philosophy throughout the Muslim world.

The e-mail's message was unsubtle: If America's not careful, jihadists might even infiltrate the White House itself. "Let us all remain alert concerning Obama's expected presidential candidacy," the unsigned e-mail concludes.

About the same time, an article surfaced in Insight magazine, a publication of the conservative Washington Times, which is owned by the Unification Church. The Moonies!

The magazine touted a scoop: Relying on sources it said it had cultivated inside the organization of Hillary Rodham Clinton, Obama's main rival for the Democratic nomination.

Insight said it could now report that a "background check" on Obama, carried out by "researchers connected to Senator Clinton," had revealed a disturbing truth.

What followed was, essentially, what was contained in the e-mail, substituting "madrassa" for "Muslim school" in Indonesia.

Madrassa is a hot-button word in the U.S., and has been since 9/11. It derives from the Arabic word for "school," but implies jihadist teaching.

This, said the Insight story, was causing Clinton's camp to ask some pretty serious questions.

"Although the background check has not confirmed that the specific madrassa Mr. Obama attended was espousing Wahhabism," the story said, "the sources said his Democratic opponents believe this to be the case." The grounds for that belief are not specified.

Upon close inspection, the story quotes only one anonymous Clinton source, rather than the "sources" it cited near the top of the article.

An unnamed Obama aide is also quoted, saying he would have to check and get back to Insight. No one from Clinton's organization is quoted on the record.

By Friday, the Fox News show Fox and Friends has a big story it's touting: It's the Obama-madrassa tale, something Fox claims "he left out of the book that he wrote about his life, growing up."

"This is HUGE," exclaimed morning host and occasional weatherman Steve Doocy, who said he'd been wondering when the mainstream media is going to "stop giving this guy a pass."

Doocy then went on to explain the facts of Wahhabism to Fox viewers.

"Hillary Clinton … her campaign is making this, now, a major issue," said Doocy's co-host Gretchen Carlson. "And what else will come after this, is the big question?"

By that afternoon, Fox anchor John Gibson had taken up the story and in case the viewer was missing the significance, the show featured a loud gong, and graphics that blared: THE BIG STORY.

Same theme: Hillary outs Obama. Nasty brawlers, those Democrats. Gibson's broadcast, though, included a statement from an Obama spokesman to the effect that Obama is a "committed Christian." There was no comment from Hillary Clinton's office.

The headline in the conservative New York Post: "OSAMA MUD FLIES AT OBAMA."

By Monday, the Clinton camp is finally on record saying the story is nonsense.

Clinton spokesman Howard Wolfson to the Washington Post: "It's an obvious right-wing hit job by a Moonie publication that was designed to attack Senator Clinton and Senator Obama at the same time."

Obama spokesman Tommy Vietor to CBC News: "The notion that Senator Obama went to a radical Islamic school is ludicrous. He is a committed Christian who attends at the United Church of Christ in Chicago."

Vietor does not want to speculate where the story came from: "It's a very convenient way for them to put unsubstantiated falsehoods on the air."

Fox News did not contact Obama's office, says Vietor. But he contacted Fox News.

"This unfortunately is the state of politics in America," he says. "It is exactly the kind of politics, the kind of viciousness Senator Obama wants to change.

Monday morning, though, Fox had more to say. Obama's camp is upset and says the story is wrong, says Doocy on his show. He then explains it was Insight magazine's work in the first place, not Fox's.

"There was a firestorm created over that, so we just want to say, that's the story, the Obama camp was upset, and we hope they're not now," says Brian Kilmeade, another co-host.

"We're just trying to be fair," adds Doocy.

On Monday night, CNN broadcast a story from the Jakarta school itself. It's a mixed school in a wealthy neighborhood. Christians attend, as do Buddhists. The reporter had a picture of the faculty from Obama's time in the 1960s. They are men and women, all in Western garb. Some madrassa.

Insight, meanwhile, stands by its story. The "liberal media establishment," it says, just can't stand such aggressive, fearless reporting.

In the end, the story didn't get much traction. Not this time anyway. But it's out there, planted, like the stories in the 2000 campaign about John McCain's supposed love child and the ones in 2004 about John Kerry's supposed Vietnam cowardice.

This one has months to grow. And you will hear it again, especially if Obama stays as popular and threatening to some as he currently is.

Neil MacDonald

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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

The Terminal

Even if you haven't seen the movie "The Terminal" with Tom Hanks, you have probably heard of it.

It's the story of how an East European immigrant is stuck at JFK airport and ends up living there.

Well, an Iranian woman who has been living in Moscow's international airport for the last nine months continues to be in legal limbo as she seeks asylum in Canada.

Zahra Kamalfar, who was granted refugee status by the Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees Office in late November, said she wants to go to Canada with her two children.

She said her brother has been living in Vancouver since he fled Iran as a refugee more than a decade ago.

Zahra's lawyers said she's applied for asylum in Canada but there's been no response, leaving her stranded at Moscow's Sheremetyevo International Airport.

"I want to go Canada because I want go someplace that is good place, that is good place for future [of] my child," she told CBC News.

"Canada is number one in the world because person from Canada is very nice and they understand respect," her 18-year-old daughter Anna said.

Her lawyers said she arrived in Russia nearly two years ago, after fleeing Iran during a prison sentence.

She took her two children, got phony travel papers and left for Canada, via Russia and Germany.

She got to Germany but was caught and sent back to Russia.

Zahra said Russian officials have tried to deport her, and her two children, back to Iran. She said they won't allow her to leave the airport, where her family must sleep on the floor in public, and use a sink in a public washroom to bathe.

I don't know why Canada is dragging its feet? They have an expedited procedure where they could process her in 72 hours, but so far, nothing!


Your "lost in limbo" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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Monday, January 22, 2007


An English professor wrote the words, "a woman without her man is nothing" on the board, and directed the students to punctuate it!

The men in the class wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing!

"The women wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing!"

Your, "Yea, Yea, bla bla" Scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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Yes, I do have something!

Thanks to Les over at: S E B I ran across something that is very dear to my heart and would like to build some day!!!
Hobbit House!
You are looking at pictures of our family home in Wales. It was built by myself and my father in law with help from passers by and visiting friends. 4 months after starting we were moved in and cosy.
I estimate 1000-1500 man hours and £3000 put in to this point. Not really so much in house buying terms (roughly £60/sq m excluding labour). The house was built with maximum regard for the environment and by reciprocation gives us a unique opportunity to live close to nature. Being your own (have a go) architect is a lot of fun and allows you to create and enjoy something which is part of yourself and the land rather than, at worst, a mass produced box designed for maximum profit and convenience of the construction industry. Building from natural materials does away with producers profits and the cocktail of carcinogenic poisons that fill most modern buildings.Dug into hillside for low visual impact and shelter Stone and mud from diggings used for retaining walls, foundations etc. Frame of oak thinnings (spare wood) from surrounding woodland Reciprocal roof rafters are structurally and aesthaetically fantastic and very easy to do. Straw bales in floor, walls and roof for super-insulation and easy building. Plastic sheet and mud/turf roof for low impact and ease. Lime plaster on walls is breathable and low energy to manufacture (compared to cement) Reclaimed (scrap) wood for floors and fittings. Anything you could possibly want is in a rubbish pile somewhere (windows, burner, plumbing, wiring...) Woodburner for heating - renewable and locally plentiful Flue goes through big stone/plaster lump to retain and slowly release heat. Fridge is cooled by air coming underground through foundations, Skylight in roof lets in natural feeling light, Solar panels for lighting, music and computing. Water by gravity from nearby spring Compost toilet Roof water collects in pond for garden etc. Main tools used: chainsaw, hammer and 1 inch chisel, little else really. Oh and by the way I am not a builder or carpenter, my experience is only having a go at one similar house 2yrs before and a bit of mucking around inbetween. This kind of building is accessible to anyone. My main relevant skills were being able bodied, having self belief and perseverence and a mate or two to give a lift now and again.

Your "Frodo" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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Sorry, but I don't have a thing today!

Absolutely nothing struck me as funny, disgusting or stupid!

Maybe it's me, maybe it's Monday, or maybe the whole world decided to be normal for once, which I doubt!

So - it's gotta be me***********!

Whether I'm right or whether I'm wrong.
Whether I find a place in this world or never belong!
I gotta be me, I've gotta be me.
What else can I be but that what I am.

I'll go it alone, that's how it must be!
I can't be right for somebody else,
If I'm not right for me!
I gotta be free, I've gotta be free,
Daring to try, to do it or die,
I've gotta be me............................................................!

.............................................sorry, I got carried away!)

Your "Speechless" Scribe;
Allan W Janssen

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) www.God-101.com

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Sunday, January 21, 2007

"60 Minutes" Eat Your Heart Out!

Here it is Sunday at supper-time, and I got the drop on Andy Rooney!

I just got the word that Hillary Clinton's camp is claiming that Obama is an (Extremist) Muslim, Edwards is a fag, and She will stand up for women anywhere, anytime!

The Republicans, meanwhile, are claiming that they need your vote because the Democrats are infested with queers, niggers and Libyans, no, sorry -that's "Lesbians."

(Watch this space. It's going to get interesting!)

Your "political" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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Obama (Pt. 2)

Everyone can relax about Obama being a radical Muslim Extremist.

A lengthy investigation has revealed that he is indeed a staunch Catholic just as he said, and does not have any "hidden agenda!"
(Obama on his way to "church?")But, now there is a nasty rumour circulating that he may be BLACK!

Your "all the news that fits" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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Sunday Morning Funnies!

I am starting a new feature this week. Sunday Morning Funnies!

News is depressing at the best of times so from now on, unless it's the end of the World, humour reigns on Sundays!

Let's start with a cartoon in the London Free Press about the U.S. wanting Canada to increase production in the Oil Sands by 5X!
(I told you we shouldn't let the States know Canada has the second largest oil reserves in the World after Saudi Arabia!)

Next, take my wife..please! No really, my wife is an ardent Scot and I have to listen daily to all the accomplishments of the Scottish people.

On that list is Robbie Burns Day, which is coming up on Friday.

Guess I will have to spend the entire week listening to how he wrote the words to "Auld Lang Syne!"

I don't know what the big deal is about a country where they have one poet and you can only play two songs on the bagpipes! (Stop squeezing and it wouldn't scream like that!)

Next we go all the way down under for a story about how an Australian guy is traveling around the Greek Islands:

He walks into a bar and, by chance, is served by an Australian Barmaid. As she takes his order, a Foster's, she notices his accent.

Over the course of the evening they get chatting. At the end of her shift he asks if she wants to come back to his place.

Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay her $200 to sleep with him.

As she is traveling around the world and is short of funds, she agrees.

The next night the guy turns up again. Again he orders Fosters and after showing her plenty of attention, asks if she will sleep with him again for $200. She remembers the night before and is only too happy to agree.

This goes on for 5 nights. On the 6th night the guy comes in again orders Fosters but goes and sits in the corner. The barmaid thinks that if she pays him more attention then, maybe she can shake some more cash out of him. So she goes over and sits next to him.

She asks him where he's from in Australia.
"Melbourne", he tells her.
“So am I. What suburb?" she enquires.
“Glen Iris" he replies.
“That's amazing," she says excitedly, "so am I, what street?"
"Cameo Street" he replies.
"This is unbelievable" she says, her voice quavering;
"What number?"
"Number 20", he replies.
She is totally astonished. "You are NOT going to believe this,
she screams, "but I'm from number 22! My parents still live there!"
"I know..." he says, "Your Dad gave me $1,000 to give to you.”

AND, one of funniest stories I've heard in a long, long time!

This is a true story from the "Word Perfect Helpline," which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. This guy should have received a promotion, not get fired! Needless to say the Help desk employee is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination Without Cause."

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations)!

"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle- it's because it's dark."
"Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power failure."

"A power...A power failure? Aha!

Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too fucking stupid to own a computer!"


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