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Middle aged hetrosexual, WASP male. Middle of the road, reasonably sane and  reasonably employed.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Paris and Bono....... Celebrity Whiners!

This week saw Paris Hilton revert back to infancy and cry for her Mommy when sent back to jail and witnessed Bono have a hissy-fit when he couldn't hijack Prime Minister Steven Harper of Canada.

One of the world's biggest rock stars tore a strip off on Friday and accused him of blocking a meaningful deal on African aid at the G8 summit.

(The leaders of the world's eight wealthiest democracies have pledged US$60 billion in aid to the world's poorest continent!)

"It's completely false and the people saying this have no proof to their allegations," Harper said at a news conference as the summit ended in Germany.


But Bono said he had numerous sources at the negotiating table. "It's as if we have the place bugged, because everybody tells us," he said.

"We know who's causing the trouble and who isn't. We know that Canada blocked progress. We know that Harper blocked it."

Bono said he doesn't believe the prime minister was too busy to meet with him at the summit - the leaders of the United States, Germany, France and Britain managed to do so.

"It's not the pop stars he doesn't want to meet. It's the movement that we represent," Bono said.

The prime minister fired back. "We did not block any agreement. There's no reason we would block an agreement," Harper said.

"We happen to believe that when it comes to aid money that the full framework of accountability is very important." "Canada favours transparency."

Privately, sources were quoted as saying that Bono threw a childish fit and displayed sour grapes because because Harper would not meet with him when he "demanded" a meeting. Harper said Thursday
that Africa is not Canada's "sole focus," because there are also development challenges in the Americas. It was also suggested by some that the Prime Minister didn't want Bono to hijack the meeting so that he could push his own agenda instead of the general business of the G8 Summit.

This didn't sit too well with Mr. Bono!

And while we are on the subject of Bono, why in the hell would he name himself after Sonny in the first place???



Your "on the spot" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) www.God-101.com

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Ever wonder where the Middle-East is located.....?


Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) www.God-101.com

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Latest Gallop Poll: Half of Americans are Idiots.

I got this little gem from Les over at "Stupid Evil Bastard" and thought I would pass it along.

The results from the latest USA TODAY/Gallup Poll on Evolution continue the trend of idiocy in this country on the topic of Evolution.

“Evolution, that is, the idea that human beings developed over millions of years from less advanced forms of life” is probably true: 44%!

“Creationism, that is, the idea that God created human beings pretty much in their present form at one time within the last 10,000 years” is probably or definitely true: 56%

15% also said that they would be more likely to vote for a candidate that did not believe in evolution.

That last line is the only bright spot to be found in the poll as the majority don’t think a candidate’s acceptance, or lack thereof, of evolution is relevant on how qualified a person is to be President.

Though, in its own way, that’s sort of depressing as well. Sometimes it’s amazing to me that half our population manages to avoid having their heads implode from the vacuum within.

Les; That's because they have their head stuck so far up their ass!

Your "ever evolving" scribe;
Allan W Janssen.


Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) www.God-101.com

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Saturday Morning Confusion!

Here we are with our usual Saturday Morning Confusion about the world at large, and people in particular.

This week the decision on who to nominate for “Asshole of the Week!” did little to help the situation, since it seems everybody and his brother was eager to claim the title.

(By the way, "Everybody and his Brother," are in no way related to Buddy Whats'is Name and the Udder Fellers!")

I sorted through a long list of candidates and came up with a few possible suspects that were certainly deserving of the title.

The first of these lucky people is Harry Nibourg and his mis-guided co-horts who helped put together the Canadian Big Valley Creation Science Museum out in Western Canada, where a lot of these idiots live.

He says they hope it will help convince skeptics that their belief in a literal interpretation of the Bible -- complete with massive flood, dinosaurs walking the earth side-by-side with humans and a seven-day plan only 6,000 years ago to get it all started -- is based on scientific fact rather than blind faith.

(Goes to show we don’t need no stinkin’ American museum to confuse everyone, we can do it quite well on our own!)

"Evolution is not a science -- please, please don't call it a science," Nibourg said as he walked through the one-room museum he has spent years and hundreds of thousands of dollars bringing into existence.

(This alone is enough to have this asshole nominated and then committed!)

Next are the U.S. Republicans in general for suggesting that nuclear weapons should not be ruled out in our disagreement with Iran.

A second-tier candidate, California Rep. Duncan Hunter, was more direct, saying the United States reserved the right to dissuade Iran militarily in any manner it chose.

"I would authorize the use of tactical nuclear weapons if there was no other way to preempt those particular centrifuges!"

"You shouldn't take any options off the table," said the leader in the Republican pack, former New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, when asked whether a tactical nuclear strike might be necessary.

The only reason they weren’t automatic winners, hands down, of “Assholes of the week” was the fact that I believe this was only political rhetoric, and in no way an actual rational proposal. (Although you never know!)

Our next candidate was Roy Pearson, a District of Columbia administrative law judge, who first sued Custom Cleaners over a pair of pants that went missing two years ago.

He was seeking about $65 million under the D.C. consumer protection act and almost $2 million in common law claims. Through the goodness of his heart he has reduced the claim to $54 million!

He is now focusing his claims on signs in the shop -that have since been removed- that Jin Nam Chung, Soo Chung and Ki Chung committed fraud and misled consumers with signs that claimed "Satisfaction Guaranteed" and "Same Day Service."

This is a perfect example of a need for a change in the U.S. libel laws.

If you initiate a lawsuit and lose, you should pay the other sides legal bills. This would reduce frivolous litigation immediately.

Yes, there are lots of candidates for this prestigious award of "Asshole of the week" and after much deliberation I had to give the prize to the Vermont State Police Force and State Police Sgt. Todd Protzman.

Displaying the Hubris that is so prevalent amongst law enforcement officials, they charged and arrested a woman for staring at, and making faces at, a police dog!!!

Prosecuting a woman for `staring' at a police dog is absurd," said her lawyer.

"People are allowed to make faces at police dogs and officers to express their disapproval.

It's constitutional expression," said public defender Kelly Green, who represented Jayna Hutchinson.

Hutchinson, 33, of Lebanon, N.H., was charged with cruelty to a police animal and resisting arrest after a July 31 incident in West Fairlee in which police were called to a market to investigate a report of a brawl.

They were approached by Hutchinson, who told one officer she had been assaulted the day before by one of the men involved.

She asked Vermont State Police Sgt. Todd Protzman to take her statement but he refused, telling her she smelled like alcohol and was drunk but that he would take her statement at another time.

After a heated exchange, she approached Protzman's cruiser, where his dog Max was waiting, putting her face within inches of the window and "staring at him in a taunting/harassing manner," Protzman wrote in an affidavit.

"While the defendant taunted my canine, Max was focused on the defendant and the perceived threat she presented to him," the affidavit said. "He was no longer focused on me and the other officers at the scene."

Officers arrested Hutchinson, adding the resisting arrest charge because she pulled her arms and upper body away during the arrest.

She registered 0.21 percent blood-alcohol content on a breath test, more than twice the legal limit for drivers in Vermont. (except she wasn't driving!)

On Tuesday, two days before Hutchinson was to go to trial, Orange County State's Attorney Will Porter decided to drop the charges, after viewing a videotape of the incident over the weekend.

"I think it was going to be difficult to prove her conduct changed the dog's behavior," Porter said. "Most of the time (in harassment cases) people would come tell the court what it felt like. Dogs can't do that."

Without the cruelty charge, jurors would be unlikely to convict her on the resisting arrest, Porter said.

So, to Sgt. Todd Protzman and the cops in Orange Country N.H. goes our coveted Asshole of the Week trophy!!!!

Your "hush, hush, and on the Q.T." scribe;
Allan W Janssen

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) www.God-101.com

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Friday, June 08, 2007

A picture is still worth a thousand words!!!!

Pull My Finger...!


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And Bush doesn't believe in Evolution eh! Have a look at these!

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Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) www.God-101.com

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Pet Peeves!

In spite of what you may think when reading this column, I am by nature a tolerant sort of person who puts up with a lot in daily life. (Maybe that's why I need a place to rant!!)

Anyway, a few of us were sitting around yesterday and we got on the subject of "what bugs you" and I was immediately hit with a revelation.

I am ADHD, and have been all my life. This is probably why I get squirrely when someone is telling me something, and besides being boring, they get sidetracked from the matter at hand and keep going off on tangents that have nothing to do with the story.

It finally gets to the point where I yell;


"GET TO THE POINT!"
(Get the point?)

Got something that drives you bananas?
Please comment!

Your "low tolerance" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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Even more and better ways to bug a cat!

Please!!!!
Goodbye cruel world!
Hangin' around on a Saturday night!
I ain't no fuckin' poodle!!!
The Green Hornet.
Yea, right!
Cat-sickle!
ZAP!
I ain't no fuckin' Chihuahua!
Ha Ha!
Yea..... Ha Ha!
And finally, this little word to the wise!















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Wednesday, June 06, 2007

FREEEEE BOOK!!!

I just got this in my e-mail after someone went to my site, www.God-101.com and read some of the quotations from the book, "The Plain Truth About God-101" (what the church doesn't want you to know!) Apparently this really upset him or her!

recipient: allanjanssen@rogers.com
email from: kinnare_s@bellsouth.net
full_name: pat kinnare
comments: I bet you don't believe in hell!
You will when you get there!
I will pray for your conversion to the blessed mother.


Well let me tell you something Pat. There is a hell on earth, and that is having to listen to assholes like you telling me I'm going to Hell because I don't believe what you do!!!!!

In other words, my God thinks your God is very intolerant!

However! I want to promote my book a little so I am happy to give a PDF copy to the first 50 people that send me an e-mail requesting one. (WARNING, COULD CAUSE HELL WITH YOUR AFTERLIFE!)

If you're wondering what it's about: God-101 presents an insight into
the history of religion from the earliest Animism to how the teachings of "Jesus" were overlaid with Greek philosophy, Pagan beliefs and Pauline thought to become the sayings of 'The Christ' and form the basis of our modern Bible.

God-101 also gives an analysis of how the priesthood and priest craft has corrupted Christianity and the other major religions.

It shows how “religious dogma” has led to the polarization of different sects within the same religion,(Catholic/Protestant – Shiite/Sunni) and how religious strife affects society as a whole, including the upcoming world – wide - clash between Christianity and Islam!

E-mail me at allanjanssen@rogers.com or www.God-101.com

If you would like a paperback or hardcover version, it is available for a nominal fee at Amazon.com; "The Plain Truth About God-101"

<-- <--FREE BOOK ALSO AVAILABLE ON THIS SIDE!


Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) www.God-101.com

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Dino was right.

Sure dinosaurs lived at the same time as people. If you don't believe me look at Dino on the Flintstones!!!!!!

We all heard the story of the Cretionists Museum that just opened up in Kentucky; and up here in Canada the thinking was "What a bunch of idiots!"

WELL GUESS AGAIN, BUNKY! Canada's got its share of nuts too!

A new creationism museum that paints itself as the scientific counterpoint to Canada's world-renowned Tyrell dinosaur museum opened yesterday in Alberta.

Owner Harry Nibourg and others who helped put together the Big Valley Creation Science Museum say they hope it will help convince skeptics their belief in a literal interpretation of the Bible -- complete with massive flood, dinosaurs walking the earth side-by-side with humans and a seven-day plan only 6,000 years ago to get it all started -- is based on scientific fact rather than blind faith.

"Evolution is not a science -- please, please don't call it a science," Nibourg said as he walked through the one-room museum he has spent years and hundreds of thousands of dollars bringing into existence. (This alone should be enought to have this asshole commited!)

The red walls are crammed with evidence he said was put together by hundreds of well-educated scientists. Dinosaur footprints lead along the floor, and a massive painted model of a dinosaur hangs suspended above the entrance.

Exhibits include photographs that show human footprint fossils side-by-side with dinosaur prints, rocks whose patterns he said show evidence of a massive flood and displays that explain how DNA is far too perfect to have been designed by chance.

Also displayed is evidence to refute that of people Nibourg calls "Evolutionists," including fossils and present-day animals that are identical, ruling out any type of adaptation.

Despite expectations of controversy, only about two dozen people, mainly media, watched as Earl Marshall, reeve of Stettler county, snipped a black ribbon to declare the museum open.

Most people present said they knew Nibourg, and while they don't necessarily agree with everything in the museum, they respect his right to express himself.

Marshall said he was warned it might not be politically wise for him to open the museum, but shrugged it off.

There is hope that the notoriety of the museum, located a few hours drive between Edmonton and Calgary, will attract tourists.

Your "would you like a dinosaur egg with breakfast" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) www.God-101.com

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The G.O.P. is N.F.G.

I don't know what it is with the American people but they seem to be blind to the fact that the Right Wing Republicans are totally out of control.
On top of derailing scientific advancement with opposition to stem cell research and support for creationism at the expense of scientific fact, they also poo-poo (I love that word!) global warming and a host of other scientific endeavours.

As well as these asinine policy and position declarations, the members of the right wing are the biggest "war-mongers" in the history of the United States.

Iran was attacked for no other reason than its oil, and relations with Russia have deteriorated to the point of a possible resumption of the "cold war!"

In a debate in New Hampshire, where the country's first primary will be held next year, they were largely in agreement on an issue that President George W. Bush considers vital -- preventing Tehran from developing nuclear weapons.

Iran insists its nuclear program is for civilian use only, but Republican candidates for U.S. president agreed on Tuesday that Iran must not develop atomic weapons even if a tactical nuclear strike is needed to stop it, and accused Democrats of being soft on the issue.

Democratic candidates had their own debate in New Hampshire on Sunday and largely agreed the United States should open direct diplomatic talks with Iran on the nuclear issue. Giuliani said it sounded to him like "Democrats were back in the 1990s."

A second-tier candidate, California Rep. Duncan Hunter, was more direct, saying the United States reserved the right to dissuade Iran militarily.
"I would authorize the use of tactical nuclear weapons if there was no other way to preempt those particular centrifuges!"


"You shouldn't take any options off the table," said the leader in the Republican pack, former New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, when asked whether a tactical nuclear strike might be necessary.

But, as a small minority, Texas Rep. Ron Paul, a candidate drawing about 2 percent in opinion polls, opposed a nuclear strike on moral grounds and because he believed Iran was no threat to U.S. national security.

"We, in the past, have always declared war in defense of our liberties or go to aid somebody," Paul said. "But now we have accepted the principle of preemptive war. We have rejected the just war theory of Christianity."

Fireworks also briefly erupted over the issue of immigration.

A Senate proposal backed by Bush has been angrily attacked by conservatives who consider the legislation an amnesty plan for 12 million illegal immigrants in the United States.

McCain backed the legislation as necessary to resolve what he called a "national security problem," but in perhaps a reflection of the deep conservative unease with the bill, he admitted that "this isn't the bill that I would have written."

Giuliani called the immigration plan a "typical Washington mess" that was the result of a compromise between competing interests.

"It's quite possible it will make things worse," he said.

Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney avoided a face-to-face immigration spat with McCain who accused him of pandering for votes by calling the legislation a silent amnesty. "He's my friend," Romney said of McCain.

But he said the plan would allow "every illegal alien" to remain in the United States.

Gee, I wonder if the means Mork will have to go too!

Your "build the wall higher" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

On a side note, the Democrates and Republicans should switch Logo's since it is obviously the G.O.P.'s who are the Asses!

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Caught with their pants down!

A judge who was seeking US$67 million from a dry cleaners that lost his pants has loosened the belt on his lawsuit.

Now, he's only asking for $54 million, a May 30 court filing in D.C. Superior Court shows.

Roy Pearson, a District of Columbia administrative law judge, first sued Custom Cleaners over a pair of pants that went missing two years ago.

He was seeking about $65 million under the D.C. consumer protection act and almost $2 million in common law claims.

He is now focusing his claims on signs in the shop that have since been removed. The suit alleges Jin Nam Chung, Soo Chung and Ki Chung committed fraud and misled consumers with signs that claimed "Satisfaction Guaranteed" and "Same Day Service."

But Chris Manning, the Chungs' lawyer, says that can be considered fraud only if the signs misled a "reasonable" person.

No reasonable person, he says, would interpret them to be an unconditional promise of satisfaction.

Pearson, who is representing himself, said in an e-mail the focus of the case, from the start, was based on the "false, misleading and fraudulent advertisements displayed by the Chungs."

Meanwhile, the Chungs say they have had it with American values and are moving back to Korea.

Your "sue their pants off" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Goodbye Vermont!

Guest Post By John Curran;

Disillusioned by what they call an empire about to fall, a small cadre of writers and academics in Vermont want the state to secede from the United States.

In 2005, about 300 people turned out for a secession convention in the Statehouse and plans for a second one are in the works.

A poll this year by the University of Vermont's Center for Rural Studies found 13 per cent of those surveyed support secession, up from eight per cent a year before.

"The argument for secession is that the U.S. has become an empire that is essentially ungovernable - it's too big, it's too corrupt and it no longer serves the needs of its citizens," said Rob Williams, editor of Vermont Commons, a quarterly newspaper dedicated to secession.

"We have electoral fraud, rampant corporate corruption, a culture of militarism and war," Williams said.

"If you care about democracy and self-governance and any kind of representative system, the only constitutional way to preserve what's left of the Republic is to peaceably take apart the empire."

Vermont, which was historically conservative, has evolved into one of the country's most liberal states since the latter part of the 20th century, a bastion of counter cultural dissent and New England self-reliance, where folks wear their hearts - and their anti-war stickers - on their Subaru station wagon bumpers.

The Vermont movement has been simmering for years but gained new traction because of the Iraq war, rising oil prices and the formation of several pro-secession groups.

For now, the would-be secessionists are hoping to draw enough support to put the question on Town Meeting Day agendas.

"We're normal human beings," said Williams, 39, a history professor at Champlain College.

"But we're serious about this. We want people in Vermont to think about the options going forward."

"Do you want to stay in an empire that's in deep trouble?"

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Of course they don't; that is why what I am about to propose makes so much sense.

Instead of just becoming independent and going it alone, do an about face and JOIN CANADA.

After all, Quebec will leave sooner or later (Or kicked out!) and Vermont could just take over where Quebec left off.

It would certainly be advantageous from a monetary standpoint since Vermont would then receive much more than it puts into Confederation. (Just like Quebec!)

On top of that the good citizens of Vermont could extract any other concessions they wanted out of the Federal Government just by threatening to go back to being a State.

In other words, boys and girls, it's a win-win, no lose situation.

Just like the people of Quebec had before they went and got stupid!


Your "makes sense to me" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

On a side note, a plus for Canada would be that the Bob Newhart show, which was set in Vermont, would then classify as "Canadian Content!"

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Monday, June 04, 2007

Sculptures!

When I was a kid sand sculpture technology was just being developed, but at the time we were proud of the simple and effective ways that a bit of wet sand was used in a 8 grain and track configuration.

By the time I reached my teens, Sand-Alog technology had been developed and we were able to express ourselves in a more dynamic and expressive way than with the old 33-1/3 and 45 grain sand.



In this modern age, with the development of Digi-Sand, and a host of other formats such as Blue-Sand and Micro-Sand, what can be accomplished is only limited by your imagination and determination.
This last sculpture was done in Virtual-Sand, and as you can see, between that and Nano-Sand, there is literally no limit to the detail and precision that can be achieved.

Your "sands a lot" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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The most ridiculously complicated trick shot ever!

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Sunday, June 03, 2007

Is THIS big enough for you?

I just got an e-mail from Priscilla Arthur and the heading was;
"Is your penis size embarrassing?"

Actually, no it's not Priscilla, and if you want to come over to my house I'll show you why!!!




Your "put that in your pipe and smoke it" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

(I have no idea why I did this piece, except maybe the fact that all this spam e-mail is really starting to get to me!)

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Asshole of the Week!

Our Asshole of the Week trophy, a loud fart, and in this case a burp, goes to Joe Chestnut of San Jose, California, who shattered the record held by Takeru Kobayashi of Japan by downing 59½ "HBDs" - hot dogs and buns - during a Hot Dog Eating contest at the Arizona Mills Mall in suburban Tempe.

Kobayashi's old record of 53¾ was set last year at Nathan's Famous Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Contest, held at Coney Island in New York, said George Costos, who helps runs the regional contests for Nathan's.
Chestnut placed second in last year's world championships, consuming 52 dogs.

"He's unbelievable - he just keeps on going," said Ryan Nerz, who works for Major League Eating, which he describes as "a world governing board for all stomach-centric sports."

"These guys' numbers have just been going up at a tremendous clip," Nerz said. "I always thought there was a limit - a limit to the human stomach and a limit to human willpower - but I guess not."

Chestnut won a free trip to New York, a year's supply of hot dogs, a US$250 gift card to the mall and a bottle of Tums.

Your "pass the ex-lax" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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WOW!

Gene Simons, (KISS) eat your {heart} out!









Your "amazed, and also grossed out" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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Sunday Morning Funnies!

A guy walks into a bar........ with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place.

The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."

He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.

While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.

"Did you see what your monkey did now?" "No, what?" asks the patron. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"
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Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar........ talking about their professions.

The first guy says " I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E, you know... Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist."

The second guy says "I'm a D.I.N.K, you know... Double Income, No Kids."

The third guy says, " I'm a R.U.B, you know... Rich, Urban, Biker."

They turn to the woman and ask her, " What are you? "

She replies: " I'm a WIFE, you know...

Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."
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A HORSE WALKS INTO A BAR.....

Horse walks into a bar, orders a beer, sits down at one of the tables, and starts reading his paper.

The bartender is a bit shocked by all this, but pours the beer, and brings it over to the horse, who proffers a ten dollar bill for it.

Now the barman figures the horse isn't that bright, so he decides to pull the old 'short-change' trick on him. He duly goes back to the horse with 1 dollar. The horse doesn't say a word.

The horse eventually finishes his beer and goes up to the bar to order another. The bartender says to him, "Y'know, we don't get many horses in here."

To which the horse replies, "At nine dollars a beer, I'm not surprised!"

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A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar......... in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately.

When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy.

"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no" he replies.

"Can you get him for me - I need to speak to him?" she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't" breathes the barman - clearly aroused. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room."
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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this, a joke?"
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THE EVENTUAL FATE OF ALL TALK SHOWS!
OR, HOW LOW CAN YOU SINK!


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And Finally;
Yo mamma is so ugly her reflection quit.
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And as an additive to Deydrated Water how about powdered alcohol.

Dutch students have developed powdered alcohol which they say can be sold legally.

The latest innovation in inebriation, called Booz2Go, is available in 20-gramme packets that cost 1-1.5 euros ($1.35-$2).

Top it up with water and you have a bubbly, lime-colored and flavored drink with just 3 percent alcohol content.

"We are aiming for the youth market. They are really more into it because you can compare it with Bacardi-mixed drinks," 20-year-old Harm van Elderen told Reuters.

Your "buy the house a round" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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