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- EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM! -

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Middle aged hetrosexual, WASP male. Middle of the road, reasonably sane and  reasonably employed.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Letters, we get letters, we get lots and lots of letters!

We got this letter from Stephen D. in Iran about the article on the Iranian President.

First off, he is not a dictator. You apparently don't realize the Iranian government is structured in a way that makes that statement unfounded. (Yes we do, Bollingers statement compared him to a petty Dictator. He didn't say he was one!- ED.)

Bollinger's extension of an invitation to talk, if honest, that is, in the spirit of intellectual curiosity, an attempt to hear all sides on an issue, he should have been honorable and allowed the man to speak without the insults and recriminations. If the invitation was something other than honest, he should never had made it. He could have remained as closed minded and zenophobic as many of you commentors.

I don't think the Iranian regime is humane, just like most people. I think the hangings, the repression, the adherance to Shria law backward, but if you invite someone into your place, treat them with respect. If you have no respect for them, don't invite them.

But it is the regime that is backward.

Do you realize there is a culturly rich middle class in Iran (YES!)that dresses exactly like the most stylish people in ANY American city, that have intellectual pursuits as deep and meaningful as any Stanford, Princeton, Yale academic?

The majority of the population of Iran is under 30 years old, would prefer to have dealings with the West, does not support the backward ways of the regime and were it not for the repression would trade in the West's commodities, study in the same universities, perform Mozart, Bach, and Rachmaninoff on world stages, dance in Martha Graham choreographies, contribute to the academic pursuits of the world's leading physicists, physicians, philosophers, historians... Screwballs that would just as soon drop nuclear weapons on their heads as not may as well be killing people that look at and think about the world in a way no different than themselves....minus the zenphobia.

Your moralistic, nationalistic, mindless arrogance is frightening and very, very ugly.

Stephen D., Sep 29, 2007, 6:24pm EDT

(Again, no comment......... take it or leave it for what it's worth. - Allan)

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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The Solution

I just recieved this in response to my views on the blog "Sanity in the Middle-East."

In keeping with our policy of presenting all opinions, this is a transcript of Osama bin-Laden's speech that was sent to me so that you and I may mend our ways, see the light and convert to Islam.


All praise is due to Allah, who built the heavens and earth in justice, and created man as a favor and grace for Him.

And from His ways is that the days rotate between the people, and from His law is retaliation in kind: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth and the killer is killed.

And all praise is due to Allah, who awakened His slaves' desire for the Garden, and all of them will enter it except those who refuse. And whoever obeys Him alone in all of his affairs will enter the Garden, and whoever disobeys Him will have refused.

Peace be upon he who follows the Guidance.

People of America:

I shall be speaking to you on important topics which concern you, so lend me your ears.

I begin by discussing the war which is between us and some of its repercussions for us and you.

To preface, I say: despite America being the greatest economic power and possessing the most powerful and up-to-date military arsenal as well; and despite it spending on this war and its army more than the entire world spends on its armies; and despite it being the major state influencing the policies of the world, as if it has a monopoly on the in just right of veto; despite all of this, 19 young men were able -by the grace of Allah, the Most High- to change the direction of its compass.

And in fact, the subject of the Mujahedeen has become an inseparable part of the speech of your leader, and the effects and signs of that are not hidden.

Since the 11th, many of America's policies have come under the influence of the Mujahideen, and that is by the grace of Allah, the Most High. And as a result, the people discovered the truth about it, its reputation worsened, its prestige was broken globally and it was bled dry economically, even if our interests overlap with the interests of the major corporations and also with those of the neoconservatives, despite the differing intentions.

And your information media, during the first years of the war, lost its credibility and manifested itself as a tool of the colonialist empires, and its condition has often been worse than the condition of the media of the dictatorial regimes which march in the caravan of the single leader.

Then Bush talks about his working with al-Maliki and his government to spread freedom in Iraq, but he in fact is working with the leaders of one sect against another sect, in the belief that this will quickly decide the war in his favor.

And thus, what is called the civil war came into being and matters worsened at his hands before getting out of his control and him becoming like the one who plows and sows the sea: he harvests nothing but failure.

So these are some of the results of the freedom about whose spreading he is talking to you. And then the backtracking of Bush on his insistence on not giving the United Nations expanded jurisdiction in Iraq is an implicit admission of his loss and defeat there. And among the most important items contained in Bush's speeches since the events of the 11th is that the Americans have no option but to continue the war.

This tone is in fact an echoing of the words of neoconservatives like Cheney , Rumsfeld and Richard pearle, the latter having said previously that the Americans have no choice in front of them other than to continue the war or face a holocaust.

I say, refuting this unjust statement, that the morality and culture of the holocaust is your culture, not our culture. In fact, burning living beings is forbidden in our religion, even if they be small like the ant, so what of man?!

The holocaust of the Jews was carried out by your brethren in the middle of Europe, but had it been closer to our countries, most of the Jews would have been saved by taking refuge with us. And my proof for that is in what your brothers, the Spanish, did when they set up the horrible courts of the Inquisition to try Muslims and Jews, when the Jews only found safe ****ter by taking refuge in our countries.

And that is why the Jewish community in Morocco today is one of the largest communities in the world. They are alive with us and we have not incinerated them, but we are a people who don't sleep under oppression and reject humiliation and disgrace, and we take revenge on the people of tyranny and agression, and the blood of the Muslims will not be spilled with impunity, and the morrow is nigh for he who awaits.

Also, your Christian brothers have been living among us for 14 centuries: in Egypt alone, there are millions of Christians whom we have not incinerated and shall not incinerate.

But the fact is, there is a continuing and biased campaign being waged against us for a long time now by your politicians and many of your writers by way of your media, especially Hollywood, for the purpose of misrepresenting Islam and its adherents to drive you away from the true religion.

The genocide of peoples and their holocausts took place at your hands: only a few specimens of Red Indians were spared, and just a few days ago, the Japanese observed the 62nd anniversary of the annihilation of Hiroshima and Nagasaki by your nuclear weapons.

And among the things which catch the eye of the one who considers the repercussions of your unjust war against Iraq is the failure of your democratic system, desipte its raising of the slogans of justice, liberty, equality and humanitarianism.

It has not only failed to achieve these things, it has actually destroyed these and other concepts with its weapons -especially in Iraq and Afghanistan- in a brazen fashion, to replace them with fear, destruction, killing, hunger, illness, displacement and more than a million orphans in Baghdad alone, not to mention hundreds of thousands of widows. American statistics speak of the killing of more than 650,000 of the people of Iraq as a result of the war and its repercussions.

People of America:

The world is following your news in regards to your invasion of Iraq, for people have recently come to know that, after several years of the tragedies of this war, the vast majority of you want it stopped. Thus, you elected the Democratic Party for this purpose, but the Democrats haven't made a move worth mentioning.

On the contrary, they continue to agree to the spending of tens of billions to continue the killing and war there, which has led to the vast majority of you being afflicted with disappointment. And here is the gist of the matter, so one should pause, think and reflect: why have the Democrats failed to stop this war, despite them being the majority?

I will come back to reply to this question after raising another question, which is: why are the leaders of the White House keen to start wars and wage them around the world, and make use of every possible opportunity through which they can reach this purpose, occasionally even creating justifications based on deception and blatant lies, as you saw in Iraq?

In the Vietnam War, the leaders of the White House claimed at the time that it was a necessary and crucial war, and during it, Rumsfeld and his aides murdered two millions villagers, and when Kennedy took over the presidency and deviated from the general line of policy drawn up for the White House and wanted to stop this unjust war, that angered the owners of the major corporations who were benefiting from its continuation.

And so Kennedy was killed, and al-Qaida wasn't present at that time, but rather, those corporations were the primary beneficiary from his killing. And the war continued after that for approximately one decade.

But after it became clear to you that it was an unjust and unnecessary war, you made one of your greatest mistakes, in that you neither brought to account nor punished those who waged this war, not even the most violent of its murderers, Rumsfeld.

And even more incredible than that is that Bush picked him as secretary of defense in his first term after picking Cheney as his vice-president, Powell as secretary of state and Armitage as Powell's deputy, despite their horrific and bloody history of murdering humans.

So that was a clear signal that this administration -the administartion of the generals- didn't have as its main concern the serving of humanity, but rather, was intersted in bringing about news massacres.

Yet in spite of that, you permitted Bush to complete his first term, and stranger still, chose him for a second term, which gave him a clear mandate from you -with your full knowledge and consent- to continue to murder our people in Iraq and Afghanistan. Then you claim to be innocent!

This innocence of yours is like my innocence of the blood of your sons on the 11th -were I to claim such a thing. But it is impossible for me to humor many of you in the arrogance and indifference you show for the lives of humans outside America, or for me to humor your leaders in their lying, as the entire world knows they have the lion's share of that. These morals aren't our morals.

What I want to emphasize here is that not taking past war criminals to account led to them repeating that crime of killing humanity without right and waging this unjust war in Mesopotamia, and as a result, here are the oppressed ones today continuing to take their right from you.

This war was entirely unnecessary, as testified to by your own reports. And among the most capable of those from your own side who speak to you on this topic and on the manufacturing of public opinion is Noam Chomsky, who spoke sober words of advice prior to the war, but the leader of Texas doesn't like those who give advice.

The entire world came out in unprecedented demonstrations to warn against waging the war and describe its true nature in eloquent terms like "no to spilling red blood for black oil", yet he paid them no heed.

It is time for humankind to know that talk of the rights of man and freedom are lies produced by the White House and its allies in Europe to deceive humans, take control of their destinies and subjugate them. So in answer to the question about causes of the Democrats' failure to stop the war, I say: they are the same reasons which led to the failure of former president Kennedy to stop Vietnam War.

Those with real power and influence are those with the most capital. And since the democratic system permits major corporations to back candidates, be they presidential or congressional, there shouldn't be any cause for astonishment -and there isn't any- in the Democrats' failure to stop the war.

And you're the ones who have the saying which goes, "Money talks".

And I tell you: after the failure of your representatives in the Democratic Party to implement your desire to stop the war, you can still carry anti-war placards and spread out in the streets of major cities, then go back to your homes, but that will be of no use and will lead to the prolonging of the war.

However, there are two solutions for stopping it. The first is from our side, and it is to continue to escalate the killing and fighting against you. This is our duty, and our brothers are carrying it out, and I ask Allah to grant them resolve and victory. And the second solution is from your side.

It has now become clear to you and the entire world the impotence of the democratic system and how it plays with the interests of the peoples and their blood by sacrificing soldiers and populations to achieve the interests of the major corporations. And with that, it has become clear to all that they are real tyrannical terrorists.

In fact, the life of all of mankind is in danger because of the global warming resulting to a large degree from the emissions of the factories of the major corporations, yet despite that, the representative of these corporations in the White House insists on not observing the Kyoto accord, with the knowledge that the statistic speaks of the death and displacement of millions of human beings because of that, especially in Africa.

This greatest of plagues and most dangerous of threats to the lives of humans is taking place in an accelerating fashion as the world is being dominated by the democratic system, which confirms its massive failure to protect humans and their interests from the greed and avarice of the major corporations and their representatives.

And despite this brazen attack on the people, the leaders of the West -especially Bush, Blair, Sarkozy and Brown- still talk about freedom and human rights with a flagrant disregard for the intellects of human beings. So is there a form of terrorism stronger, clearer and more dangerous than this?

This is why I tell you: as you liberated yourselves before from the slavery of monks, kings and feudalism, you should today liberate yourselves from the deception, shackles and attrition of the capitalist system. If you were to ponder it well, you would find that in the end, it is a system harsher and fiercer than your systems in the Middle Ages.

The capitalist system seeks to turn the entire world into a fiefdom of the major corporations under the label of "globalization" in order to protect democracy. And Iraq and Afghanistan and their tragedies; the reeling of many of you under the burden of interests-related debts, insane taxes and real estate mortgages; global warming and its woes; and the abject poverty and tragic hunger in Africa: all of this is but one side of the grim face of this global system.

So it is imperative that you free yourselves from all of that and search for an alternative, upright methodology in which it is not the business of any class of humanity to lay down its own laws to its own advantage at the expense of the other classes as is the case with you, since the essence of man-made positive laws is that they serve the interests of those with the capital and thus make the rich richer and the poor poorer.

The infallible methodology is the methodology of Allah, the Most High, who created the heavens and earth and created the Creation and is the Most Kind and All-Informed and the Knower of the souls of His slaves and the methodology that best suits them.

You believe with absolute certainty that you believe in Allah, and you are full of conviction of this belief, so much so that you have written this belief of yours on your dollar.

But the truth is that you are mistake in this belief of yours. The impartial judge knows that belief in Allah requires straightness in the following of His methodology, and accordingly, total obedience must be to the orders and prohibitions of Allah Alone in all aspects of life. So how about you when you associate others with Him in your beliefs and separate state from religion, then claim that you are believers?!

What you have done is clear loss and manifest polytheism.

And I will give you a parable of polytheism, as parables summarize and clarify speech.

I tell you: its parable is the parable of a man who owns a shop and hires a worker and tells him, "Sell and give me the money," but he makes sales and give the money to someone other than the owner. So who of you would approve of that?

You believe that Allah is your Lord and your Creator and the Creator of this earth and that it is His property, then you work on His earth and property without His orders and without obeying Him, and you legislate in contradiction to His Law and methodology

This work of yours is the greatest form of polytheism and is rebellion against obedience to Allah with which the believer becomes an unbeliever, even if he obeys Allah in some of His other orders. Allah, the Most High, sent down His orders in His Sacred Books like the Torah and Evangel and sent with them the Messengers (Allah's prayers and peace be upon them) as bearers of good news to the people.

And everyone who believes in them and complies with them is a believer from the people of the Garden.

Then when the men of knowledge altered the words of Allah, the Most High, and sold them for a paltry price, as the rabbis did with the Torah and the monks with the Evangel, Allah sent down His final Book, the magnificent Quran, and safeguarded it from being added to or subtracted from by the hands of men, and in it is a complete methodology for the lives of all people.

And our holding firm to this magnificient Book is the secret of our strength and winning of the war against you despite the fewness of our numbers and materiel.

And if you would like to get to know some of the reasons for your losing of your war against us, then read the book of Michael Scheuer in this regard. Don't be turned away from Islam by the terrible situation of the Muslims today, for our rulers in general abandoned Islam many decades ago, but our forefathers were the leaders and pioneers of the world for many centuries, when they held firmly to Islam.

And before concluding, I tell you: there has been an increase in the thinkers who study events and happenings, and on the basis of their study, they have declared the approach of the collapse of the American Empire. Among them is the European thinker who anticipated the fall of the Soviet Union, which indeed fell.

And it would benefit you to read what he wrote about what comes after the empire in regard to the United States of America.

I also want to bring to your attention that among the greatest reasons for the collapse of the Soviet Union was their being afflicted with their leader Brezhnev, who was overtaken by pride and arrogance and refused to look at the facts on the ground. From the first year of the Afghanistan invasion, reports indicated that the Russians were losing the war, but he refused to acknowledge this, lest it go down in his personal history as a defeat, even though refusal to acknowledge defeat not only doesn't do anything to change the facts for thinking people, but also exacerbates the problem and increases the losses.

And how similar is your position today to their position approximately two decades ago. The mistakes of Brezhnev are being repeated by Bush, who -when asked about the date of his withdrawing of forces from Iraq- said in effect that the withdrawal will not be during his reign, but rather, during the reign of the one who succeeds him.

And the significance of these words is not hidden.

And here I say: it would benefit you to listen to the poignant messages of your soldiers in Iraq who are paying- with their blood, nerves and scattered limbs- the price for these sorts of irresponsible statements. Among them is the eloquent message of Joshua which he sent by way of the media, in which he wipes the tears from his eyes and describes American politicians in harsh terms and invites them to join him there for a few days.

Perhaps his message will find in you an attentive ear so you can rescue him and more than 150,000 of your sons there who are tasting the two bitterest things: if they leave their barracks, the mines devour them, and if they refuse to leave, rulings are passed against them.

Thus, the only options left in front of them are to commit suicide or cry, both of which are from the severest of afflictions. So is there anything more men can do after crying and killing themselves to make you respond to them?

They are doing that out of the severity of the humiliation, fear and terror which they are suffering. It is severer than what the slaves used to suffer at your hands centuries ago, and it is as if some of them have gone from one slavery to another slavery more severe and harmful, even if it be in the fancy dress of the Defense Department's financial enticements.

So do you feel the greatness of their suffering?

To conclude, I invite you to embrace Islam, for the greatest mistake one can make in this world and one which is uncorrectable is to die while not surrendering to Allah, the Most High, in all aspects of one's life -i.e., to die outside of Islam. And Islam means gain for you in this first life and the next, final life.

The true religion is a mercy for people in their lives, filling their hearts with serenity and calm. There is a lesson for you in the Mujahideen: the entire world is in pursuit of them, yet their hearts, by the grace of Allah, are satisfied and tranquil.

The true religion also puts peoples' lives in order with its laws; protects their needs and interests; refines their morals; protects them from evils; and guarantees for them entrance into Paradise in the hereater through their obedience to Allah and sincere worship of Him Alone.

And it will also achieve your desire to stop the war as a consequence, because as soon as the warmongering owners of the major corporations realize that you have lost confidence in your democratic system and begun to search for an alternative, and that this alternative is Islam, they will run after you to please you and achieve what you want to steer you away from Islam.

So your true compliance with Islam will deprive them of the opportunity to defraud the peoples and take their money under numerous pre****s, like arms deals and so on. There are no taxes in Islam, but rather, there is a limited Zakaat [alms] totaling only 2.5%.

So beware of the deception of those with the capital. And with your earnest reading about Islam from its pristine sources, you will arrive at an important truth, which is that the religion of all of the Prophets (peace and blessings of Allah be upon them) is one, and that its essence is submission to the orders of Allah Alone in all aspects of life, even if their Shari'ahs [Laws] differ.

And did you know that the name of the Prophet of Allah Jesus and his mother (peace and blessings of Allah be upon them both) are mentioned in the Noble Quran dozens of times, and that in the Quran there is a chapter whose name is "Maryam", i.e. Mary, daughter of Imran and mother of Jesus (peace and blessings of Allah be upon them both)?

It tells the story of her becoming pregnant with the Prophet of Allah Jesus (peace and blessings of Allah be upon them both), and in it is confirmation of her chastity and purity, in contrast to the fabrications of the Jews against her.

Whoever wishes to find that out for himself must listen to the verses of this magnificent chapter: one of the just kings of the Christians -the Negus- listened to some of its verses and his eyes welled up with tears and he said something which should be reflected on for a long time by those sincere in their search for the truth.

He said, "Verily, this and what Jesus brought come from one lantern": i.e., that the magnificent Quran and the Evangel are both from Allah, the Most High; and every just and intelligent one of you who reflects on the Quran will definitely arrive at this truth.

It also must be noted that Allah has preserved the Quran from the alterations of men. And reading in order to become acquainted with Islam only requires a little effort, and those of you who are guided will profit greatly.

And peace be upon he who follows the Guidance.


That's it. I will not offer any comment or opinion on this but rather leave it to your discretion on whether you want to convert to Islam or not!

After all, we do give equal time to everybody.


Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com




(fucking assholes)

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The difference between Jews and Arabs.

A lot of Jews and Arabs look alike because they have the same general ancestry, but, it is the cultural differences that set them apart.

This was driven home to me a few days ago and also explains why the Arabs can't beat the Jews in a war even though they outnumber them many times over.

Here's the scoop! I was listening to a rabbi on CBC radio explaining what (over and above the standard Provincial school curriculum) is taught in a Jewish school in Toronto.

He explained that one of the most important lessons taught in the Torah was a quote that said; (I have to para-phrase here!.) "God is great, but don't expect God to do things for you with miracles. God helps those who help themselves!!"

The cultural difference was brought to light by my wife (who spent over two years in Saudi Arabia) who said; "In the Arab world everything revolves around "Insha'Allah."

In šaʾ Allāh (إن شاء الله) is an Arabic term evoked by Arabic speakers to indicate hope for an aforementioned event to occur in the future. The phrase translates into English as "God willing" or "If it is God's will".

The term is also related to another Arabic term, Mā šāʾ Allāh (ما شاء الله), which means "God has willed it".
This word is often used to indicate a desire to do something that you wish may occur. This also provides Allah's blessing on what you are about to do. For example, if you want to do something, in particular if you know that it is very hard to achieve, you invoke Allah's blessing before it occurs or before you set out to do it.

Muslim scholar Ibn Abbas stated that it is in fact obligatory for a Muslim to say Insha'Allah when referring to something he or she intends to do in the future. If carelessness leads to the omission of the phrase, it may be said at a later time upon the realization of the omission.

BUT! Here is the important part. This phrase imparts an attitude of "Laissez-faire " on the speaker because if they don't get around to it or don't feel like it then of course it is "Insha'Allah," or God's will and therefore not their fault.


One attitude(Jewish) sets you up for success, and the other(Muslim) pre-supposes failure.

And there is the difference.


Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Asshole of the Week - John McCain

O.K. kids, can we spell hypocrite?

The Asshole of the Week trophy and a loud fart go to GOP presidential candidate John McCain who says America is better off with a Christian president, and he doesn’t want a Muslim in the Oval Office.
“I admire Islam. There’s a lot of good principles in it,” he said. “But I just have to say in all candor that since this nation was founded primarily on Christian principles and personally, I prefer someone I know who has a solid grounding in my faith.”
(Currently America is led by a president who claims to be a Christian. He started an illegal war bases on lies, and supports extraordinary renditions, secret jails, torture, and other human rights violations. Under the guise of his ‘fight against terror’ he has taken away countless liberties that until recently were taken for granted. Is America better off with a Christian president? Perhaps. But not with a president who only talks the talk, instead of also walking the walk.)

In a wide-ranging interview about religion and faith with the Web site Beliefnet, McCain said he wouldn’t “rule out under any circumstance” someone who wasn’t Christian, but said, “I just feel that that’s an important part of our qualifications to lead.”

A Mormon such as rival candidate Mitt Romney, he said, would be OK.

“The Mormon religion is a religion that I don’t share but I respect. “More importantly, I’ve known so many people of the Mormon faith who have been so magnificent,” he said.
In the interview, the senator also said the “Constitution established the United States of America as a Christian nation.” (There is no mention of God, Jesus or Christ in the document and this is why Johnny made it as asshole of the week.)

McCain later clarified his remarks, saying, “I would vote for a Muslim if he or she was the candidate best able to lead the country and to defend our political values.”

A Muslim rights group ripped the Arizona Republican’s remarks.

“That kind of attitude goes against the American tradition of religious pluralism and inclusion,” said Ibrahim Hooper, spokesman for the Council on American-Islamic Relations. He urged McCain to “clarify his remarks” and “stress his acceptance of political candidates of any faith.”
The Anti-Defamation League, a Jewish advocacy group, could not be reached for comment because its offices were closed for the Sukkoth holiday.

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Saturday Morning Confusion #224

As usual it's the weekend and I'm confused! I thought I was a pretty smart guy until I took this test. Hope you do better than I did!

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

3) From which animal do we get cat gut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?

7) What was King George VI's first name?

8) What color is a purple finch?

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?



All done? Check your answers below!

ANSWERS

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
116 years

2) Which country makes Panama hats?
Ecuador

3) From which animal do we get cat gut?
Sheep and Horses

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
November

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
Squirrel fur

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
Dogs

7) What was King George VI's first name?
Albert

8) What color is a purple finch?
Crimson

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
New Zealand

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
Orange... of course

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at http://www.god-101.com/ and the blog "Perspective" at http://god-101.blogspot.com/

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Say What?

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Friday, September 28, 2007

Martians Invade Sweden.

Reports just out of Scandinavia indicate that Martians are leading the second invasion of this Planet in the last decade.

Early Swedish surveillance photo's show the saucers landing.

Early reports from Sweden indicate a strange Martian vessel has landed there and several monstrous machines are ravaging the countryside.

This is a drawing of one of the early assault vessels....................


Which was later confirmed by this photo!

One of the main assault vehicles was churning up the countryside and headed for Stockholm.
More information as it becomes available. Presently all communications are disrupted.
No wait! Someone has just beamed down to the surface.








Yes, Martian spokesman "Uncle Martin" has demanded that we lower our weapons and surrender or face annihilation. (He claims to have infiltrated our "Earthly" society in the recent past and knows all of our weak points.)

No word yet from the authorities.

Stay Tuned!

Your "from the front" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

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The Plain Truth, so help me Howard!

My staff and I have done a lot of research over the past year into myths, conjectures, religious beliefs and hokum! (Hokum is a 1950's term for bullshit!)

Without getting into any long discussion about the results we have come up with, here is the poop on what is real and what isn't.

First the big question.

-Yes, there is a God. (Now what God is, or wants, or does is something that nobody knows. Why? Because it's GOD! So stop trying to tell other people that you and your group have the inside story!)

-No, there are no aliens or UFOs. (Other planets are just plain too far away, period. If you don't believe me then educate yourself and find out.)

-Jesus not only lived, but was a great prophet. As was Muhammad, Moses, Buddha, Confucius and my next door neighbor Charlie.

-Jesus was not crucified to erase our sins. He was killed because he pissed off the wrong people. (By the way, when you're physically dead.............you're DEAD! O.K.?)

-Yes, there certainly is such a thing as coincidence.

-There might be a certain amount of Fate, but you can change it.

-Yes, when you do GOOD it comes back to you, one way or another. Same with BAD. This is called KARMA.

-No, there is no Second Coming, or Rapture. It failed to materialize the last 25,434 times so why should it happen the next.

-Yes, if you act like an asshole people will treat you like shit!

-There was NO conspiracy in the death of Princess Diana, J.F.K., Boby Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Lee Harvey Oswald or Marilyn Munroe.

There was also NO conspiracy in the Moon Landings, 9/11, shooting the Pope or the Shuttle disaster.

-No, there is no "psychic healing," but attitude and belief can and does help in the healing process.

-Yes, there is such a thing as Love. It's the same as God, you can't prove it, but you can feel it and know it's there! (It's also the same as peeing yoourself in a dark pair of pants. No one can see it but it gives you a nice warm feeling anyways!)

-The jury is out on Psychic Stuff. Could be something to it or just result of that coincidence we talked about. (But, I swear my wife can read my mind!)

-Yes there seems to be such a thing as luck, but it is just a concept we have developed, because luck, one the whole, is totally arbitrary. (I other words, if you win the lottery, that's lucky. But someone else could just have easily been the lucky one! See?)

-There are no Ghosts, Spirits or Demons. All are the result of superstition and overactive imaginations.

-Although I choose to believe in God, I do accept the possibility that there is not, and the whole majestic Universe is just the result of chance and happenstance. But! This would be an incredible waste of time and space and I think it is even more remote a possibility than the existence of God.

Same goes for Aliens. No, they don't come here in flying saucers, but out of this unimaginably huge and majestic Universe I can't reconcile myself with the fact that we (Humanity) are the only intelligent species. (Even more so for life itself) However, if we ever do meet or talk to other life forms you can bet that they will be far less barbaric than we are now, because they realised long ago just how precious and rare life and intelligence is.

(There are many more examples.... which shall be added to this piece shortly!)

Your "Call me Houdini" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at http://www.god-101.com/ and the blog "Perspective" at http://god-101.blogspot.com/

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Thursday, September 27, 2007

EARLY BORG!

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OUCH!

THIS IS NOT A VIDEO FOR THE SQUEAMISH OR FAINT OF HEART.
It is, however, without a doubt, the greatest "UNEDITED" fight scene over done.

This guy works his way through a building destroying everyone in his path and the camera does not once stop or sequay to another scene. The choreography is AMAZING!

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Stanislav Petrov — World Hero

In 1983 in Russia, there was a man who would have been considered an enemy by the people of America.

But, as it turned out, he would become for them and for the world an unknown hero — perhaps the greatest hero of all time.

Because of military secrecy, and political and international differences, most of the world has not heard of this man. He is Stanislav Petrov.

The extraordinary incident leading to his heroism occurred near Moscow, in the former Soviet Union, just past midnight, Sept. 26, 1983. Because of time-zone differences, it was still Sept. 25 in America, a Sunday afternoon.

During the Cold War at this time, the United States and the Soviet Union were bitter adversaries. These two world powers did not trust each other, and this distrust led to a dangerous consequence: They built thousands of nuclear weapons to be used against each other if a war should ever break out between them.

If there ever were such a war, these nations would very likely devastate each other and much of the world many times over, resulting in the deaths of hundreds of millions of people.

It was Lieutenant Colonel Stanislav Petrov’s duty to use computers and satellites to warn the Soviet Union if there were ever a nuclear missile attack by the United States. In the event of such an attack, the Soviet Union’s strategy was to launch an immediate all-out nuclear weapons counterattack against the United States.

On this particular day, something went wrong.

Suddenly the computer alarms sounded, warning that an American missile was heading toward the Soviet Union.

Lt. Col. Petrov reasoned that a computer error had occurred, since the United States was not likely to launch just one missile if it were attacking the Soviet Union — it would launch many.

Besides, there had been questions in the past about the reliability of the satellite system being used. So he dismissed the warning as a false alarm, concluding that no missile had actually been launched by the United States.

But then, just a short time later, the situation turned very serious. Now the computer system was indicating a second missile had been launched by the United States and was approaching the Soviet Union.

Then it showed a third missile being launched, and then a fourth and a fifth. The sound of the alarms was deafening.

In front of Lt. Col. Petrov the word “Start” was flashing in bright lettering, presumably the instruction indicating the Soviet Union must begin launching a massive counterstrike against the United States.

Even though Lt. Col. Petrov had a gnawing feeling the computer system was wrong, he had no way of knowing for sure. He had nothing else to go by.

The Soviet Union’s land radar was not capable of detecting any missiles beyond the horizon, information that by then would be too late to be useful. And worse, he had only a few minutes to decide what to tell the Soviet leadership.

He made his final decision: He would trust his intuition and declare it a false alarm. If he were wrong, he realized nuclear missiles from the United States would soon begin raining down on the Soviet Union.

He waited. The minutes and seconds passed. Everything remained quiet — no missiles and no destruction. His decision had been right.

Stanislav Petrov had prevented a worldwide nuclear war. He was a hero. Those around him congratulated him for his superb judgment.

But, he had disobeyed military procedure by defying the computer warnings.

Because of this, he later underwent intense questioning by his superiors about his actions during this nerve-racking ordeal.

Perhaps because he had ignored the warnings, he was no longer considered a reliable military officer. In the military it is understood that orders and procedures are to be carried out unfailingly, without question.

In the end, the Soviet military did not reward or honor Stanislav Petrov for his actions. It did not punish him either. But his once promising military career had come to an end.

He was reassigned to a less sensitive position and soon was retired from the military. He went on to live his life in Russia as a pensioner.

Because of Stanislav Petrov’s actions that day in 1983, our Planet was spared what could have become the most devastating tragedy in the history of humanity.

Stanislav Petrov has said he does not regard himself as a hero for what he did that day. But, in terms of the incalculable number of lives saved, and the overall health of the planet Earth, he undeniably is one of the greatest heroes of all time.

There is yet something else unsettling about this incident.

Stanislav Petrov was not originally scheduled to be on duty that night. Had he not been there, it is possible a different commanding officer would not have questioned the computer alarms, tragically leading the world into a nuclear holocaust.

As it turned out, this incident ended fortunately for America and for the world.

But unfortunately for Stanislav Petrov, it ruined his career and his health, and it deprived him of his peace of mind.

This is one debt the world will never be able to repay.

Dangerous Prelude! Why things were so tense.

In 1983 relations between the United States and the Soviet Union were severely strained. The timing probably could not have been worse for a mistaken nuclear attack warning. Had Stanislav Petrov declared the warning valid, as his computers indicated, the Soviet leadership likely would have taken his decision as fact, consider what was happening in the weeks and months leading up to Sept. 25, 1983:

-The Soviet military shot down a Korean passenger jet Sept. 1, 1983 (only three weeks before this incident), killing all 269 people on board, including many Americans. Soon after, the KGB sent a flash message to its operatives in the West, warning them to prepare for possible nuclear war, according to CNN.

-The American leadership began referring to the Soviet Union as an “evil empire.”

-Throughout 1983 the Kremlin assumed the West was planning a nuclear attack on the Soviet Union, according to experts quoted by the Federation of American Scientists.

-After President Reagan’s “Star Wars” speech March 23, 1983, the Soviets feared such a system would increase the likelihood the United States would launch a first attack since the United States would not fear retaliation, according to CNN.

-The Russians saw a U.S. government preparing for a first strike, headed by a President capable of ordering a first strike. Russian strategy is to fire its arsenal as soon as possible after receiving indications of an attack, according to Bruce Blair, an expert on Cold War nuclear strategies (Dateline NBC, Nov. 12, 2000).

-The United States and NATO were organizing a military exercise that centered on using tactical nuclear weapons in Europe. Soviet leaders were concerned this was a cover for an actual invasion. (IEEE Spectrum, March 2000)

Your "duck and cover" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Terra or Gaia, it's still a sick Planet.

Our planet Earth has been known by two other names as well.

The first is the ancient Latin name, Terra, and the second is a more recent label called Gaia.

If you're not familiar with the theory of Gaia, it holds that this planet is a giant living organism, as is the Universe itself.

You can call this a version of "The Force" from Star Wars fame. All the Universe, and our Planet as well, is surrounded by,and infused with this "life force."

In the case of Gaia, is not only a living, but a breathing thing.

All the plants, all the insects, all the animals, all the fish in the sea and even the sea and land itself form a collective whole that is not only living, but some think, also an "aware" entity.

Much of this idea is right in line with Eastern Philosophies and Religion. Plants themselves could have an awareness on a very basic level, with the bacteria and then insects gradually exhibiting more of this "life force."

As we work our way up the evolutionary chain, progressively more complex organisms would also be infused with more and more awareness until we get into the animal kingdom, and then of course, to human beings.

(Not too palpable to anyone who believes the universe was created in seven days but it does make a hell of a lot more sense.)

If we take this theory to it's logical conclusion, then we could image Gaia as a small Being in the infinitely larger entity we know as the Universe.

Gaia is then an organism that is host to all sorts of different bugs and bacteria, (all the living things on the planet) as well as being subject to ageing, disease and dying.

We human beings infest Gaia much as a bacteria would live on and in us. We form part of the balance of nature that makes up the whole.

But, like any bacteria, or virus, this can be good or bad.

If we become too numerous then the effect would be much the same as if a human body was infected with a cold or virus.

Our overwhelming presence is slowly making our Planet sick and as we multiple and cause even more destruction there will come a point where the planet has to fight this virus or die!

I don't know what form or method this would be achieved by but it seems logical that natural disasters would have to reduce the human (bacteria/virus) population down to a sustainable level.

What would this level of infestation be? I'm not sure but let's pick an arbitrary figure of 50 or a 100 million.

If the Planet had this much smaller number of humans to contend with, the ecological balance would be more favourable, and we might find that our lot in life would also be much better and in harmony with Old Mother Nature.

She is, after all, not someone to be trifled with for too long.

Remember: "It's not nice to fool Mother Nature!"

Your humble author;
Allan

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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The Blob is coming!

Your fearless author told you a few weeks ago about the meteor that crashed in Peru and some of the people who went near the impact site got sick from an unknown disease!

Well, there's more!

Do you remember those 1950's Sci-Fi movies where an asteroid or meteor or hemeroid or space ship would plunge to Earth and then some sort of a disease or germ or bacteria or slime or whatever would come out of it and poeople would start dying or turning into dripping monsters or vomit green shit and kill everyone or parts of their bodies would fall off or they slowly went nuts and then......... well, you get the idea!!

Guess what kids?

Not to scare the crap out of anybody but some of that stuff might not be too far from the truth.

The trip: Space Shuttle STS-115, September 2006. (One year ago!)

The germ: Salmonella, best known as a culprit of food poisoning.

The reason: Scientists wanted to see how space travel affects germs, so they took some along — carefully wrapped — for the ride.

The result: Mice fed the space germs were three times more likely to get sick and died quicker than others fed identical germs that had remained behind on Earth.

"Wherever humans go, microbes go, you can't sterilize humans. Wherever we go, under the oceans or orbiting the earth, the microbes go with us, and it's important that we understand ... how they're going to change," explained Cheryl Nickerson, an associate professor at the Center for Infectious Diseases and Vaccinology at Arizona State University.
Nickerson added, in a telephone interview, that learning more about changes in germs has the potential to lead to novel new countermeasures for infectious disease.

She reports the results of the salmonella study in Tuesday's edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

The researchers placed identical strains of salmonella in containers and sent one into space aboard the shuttle, while the second was kept on Earth, under similar temperature conditions to the one in space.

After the shuttle returned, mice were given varying oral doses of the salmonella and then were watched.

After 25 days, 40 percent of the mice given the Earth-bound salmonella were still alive, compared with just 10 percent of those dosed with the germs from space. And the researchers found it took about one-third as much of the space germs to kill half the mice, compared with the germs that had been on Earth.

The researchers found 167 genes had changed in the salmonella that went to space.

Why?

"That's the 64 million dollar question," Nickerson said. "We do not know with 100 percent certainty what the mechanism is of space flight that's inducing these changes."

Your "hiding in the basement" scribe;
Allan W Janssen

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at http://www.god-101.com/ and the blog "Perspective" at http://god-101.blogspot.com/

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Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Famous Sex Quotes!

After months of dilligent research our ace staff have come up with some of the most famous sex quotes of all time. Got any others? Put them in the comments!
-"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." * Tom Clancy
-"You know "that look" women get when they want sex?...... Me neither." * Steve Martin
-"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." * Woody Allen
-"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." * Rodney Dangerfield
-"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL." * Lynn Lavner
-"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." * George Burns
-"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." * Sharon Stone
-"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." * Jack Nicholson
-"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." * Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor!)
-"Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." * Robin Williams
-"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself." * Roseanne
-"Women need a reason to have sex. ! Men just need a place." * Billy Crystal
-"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" * Dustin Hoffman
-"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." * Rod Stewart
-"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." * Robin Williams

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A cry of sanity in the Islamic wasteland.

People in the Midlle-East are starting to get worried enough about the big picture there, and throughout the rest of the world, that voices are starting to get heard.
And it's about time!

Saudi Cleric Salman Al-Odeh slams his "Brother" Osama bin Laden.

He warns Him He'll Be Responsible for the Deaths of Millions.

Reminds Him He Must Face Allah!

The following are excerpts from a religious show featuring Saudi cleric Salman Al-Odeh, which aired on MBC TV on September 14, 2007.


To view this clip, visit: http://www.memritv.org/clip/en/1557.htm.

Salman Al-Odeh: "I say to my brother Osama [bin Laden]: How much blood has been shed, and how many innocent people, children, elderly, and women have been killed, displaced, or banished in the name of Al-Qaeda? Would you be pleased to meet Allah while you bear responsibility for hundreds or even millions of people?"

"The Prophet Muhammad said that anyone who killed even a bird unjustly would meet Allah on Judgment Day, and the bird would say to Allah: 'Ask so-and-do why he killed me unjustly.' This religion protects the sanctity of the blood of even birds and animals.

The Prophet Muhammad said about a prophet who burned an anthill: 'Just because one ant bit you, you burned an entire colony of ants that were praising Allah?'

This is all the more true when it comes to human beings."

"My brother Osama bin Laden, the image of Islam is not at its best today. People all over the world say that Islam kills anyone who is not of this religion, and that Salafism kills any Muslim who does not believe in it - whereas the Prophet Muhammad refrained from killing even the hypocrites, about whom Allah said they would dwell in the lowest level of hell.

The Prophet Muhammad said that the reason was so that people would not say that Muhammad kills his friends." "Is The Difference Not Clear Between One Who Kills And One Who Gives Life?"

"My brother Osama, what happened on 9/11 was the killing of several thousands, maybe less than 3,000, who died aboard the planes and in those towers, whereas there are unknown preachers, through whom Allah has guided hundreds of thousands of people, who have been enlightened by the light of Islam, and whose hearts have been filled with the love of Allah. Is the difference not clear between one who kills and one who gives life?"

"My brother Osama, the annihilation of an entire people, like what is happening in Afghanistan, through destruction and through hunger... This people has lost its entire infrastructure... Or the destruction of another people, like what is happening in Iraq... There are more than three million refugees in Jordan and Syria alone, apart from those who went to other countries in the East or West.

The specter of civil war, which hovers over Afghanistan and Iraq, is not something about which Muslims are happy.

The Prophet Muhammad heard about a man called Harb ("war") and changed his name, because he loathed war.

Our God said: 'Fighting is ordained for you, even though you hate it.' This is a hateful thing to which people resort only when it is necessary, and when there is no other choice.

"Are [You] Determined to Come to Power, Even If it is Over the Bodies of Thousands and Hundreds of Thousands[?]"

"Who benefits from the attempts to change countries like Morocco, Algeria, Lebanon, Saudi Arabia, or any other country into countries governed by fear, where people feel unsafe? Should coming to power be the goal? Is it the solution?

Are [you] determined to come to power, even if it is over the bodies of thousands and hundreds of thousands of policemen, soldiers, ordinary Muslims, or innocent people who are sometimes killed - and then you say that they will be resurrected according to their intentions.

Indeed they will, but the question is how we shall be resurrected, and how we shall appear when we meet our God, when so much blood has been shed under our patronage, whether we like it or not."

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at http://www.god-101.com/ and the blog "Perspective" at http://god-101.blogspot.com/

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1GB 20 years ago and 1GB now

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US teacher dismissed for urging pupils not to take Bible literally

The thought police are alive and well and living in Iowa.

Steve Bitterman, a teacher at Southwestern Community College, Red Oak, Iowa, was fired yesterday after he urged his pupils not to take the story of Adam and Eve too literally.

Bitterman was teaching a western civilisation course and often used extracts from the Old Testament as part of his lessons, but urged students to look beyond a literal interpretation of what he views as an "extremely meaningful story", believing such a reading would miss much of the poetic, metaphoric and symbolic content.

After class, he also made the mistake of referring to the story as a "fairy tale" during a conversation with a student.

The class was being broadcast to a second college in Osceola, Iowa, and it was a group of students from this class that reported Bitterman for "denigrating their religion".

Bitterman's college has refused to comment on his dismissal, which it described as a "personnel matter".

Speaking to Iowa newspaper the Des Moines Register, Bitterman said: "I'm just a little bit shocked that a college in good standing would back up students who insist that people have to teach that there were such things as talking snakes or lose their job."

Clearly endorsing the good work of his former employers, he concluded: ""From my point of view, what they're doing is essentially teaching their students to function in the eighth century."

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Monday, September 24, 2007

Iranian President Ahmadinejad speaks at Columbia University

From CNN News:

My man Mahmoud is finding out that dealing with an audience in a free and open society where any and all questions can be asked is no bed of roses.

Columbia University President Lee Bollinger ripped into Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad today, going through a long list of documented actions and remarks by the firebrand Iranian leader and his government.

"Mr. President, you exhibit all the signs of a petty and cruel dictator," Bollinger said to applause from many of the 600 people in the room for a speech from the Iranian leader.

Bollinger cited the Iranian government's "brutal crackdown" on dissidents, public executions, executions of minors and other actions.

And he assailed Ahmadinejad's "denying" of the Holocaust as "ridiculous" and "dangerous propaganda." He called the Iranian leader either brazenly provocative "or astonishingly uneducated." "The truth is that the Holocaust is the most documented event in human history," he said.

He said he doubted Ahmadinejad would show the intellectual courage to answer the questions before him.

Ahmadinejad responded quickly. "We don't think it's necessary before the speech is given to come in with some series of claims," the Iranian leader said. He said Bollinger's comments included "insults" and false claims, and flew in the face of an environment that's supposed to let people speak their minds.

On the Holocaust, Ahmadinejad asked why history can't be questioned and further researched. "If the Holocaust is a reality of our time, a history that occurred, why is there not sufficient research that can approach the topic from different perspectives?" he asked.

The Iranian leader has made statements in the past suggesting that Israel be politically "wiped off the map," though he insists that can be accomplished without violence.

While he would not respond with a "yes" or "no" when asked Monday if he sought the destruction of Israel, he said the status of Israel should be determined by a free election. "Let the people of Palestine freely choose what they want for their future," he said.

Asked about widely documented government abuse of women and homosexuals in his country, Ahmadinejad said, "We don't have homosexuals" in Iran. "I don't know who told you we had it," he said.

He also repeatedly said that women have freedoms in Iran and refused to comment on reports that their freedom is severely constrained. Ahmadinejad said Iran questions "the way the world is being run and managed today." But he said Iran would hold talks with the U.S. government "under fair and just circumstances."

As he ended his talk at Columbia, he invited faculty and students to visit any university they liked in Iran.

Earlier Monday, in a question-and-answer video conference with the National Press Club, Ahmadinejad said the Middle East can govern itself without interference from the United States and other Western nations.

Speaking from New York to the luncheon in Washington, Ahmadinejad said Iran wanted to see "an independent powerful Iraq ... which will benefit the entire region." "We are two nations interconnected," he said of Iran and Iraq. "We are brothers and friends."

But he said the region didn't need U.S. help. "We oppose the way the U.S. government tries to manage the world. ... We propose more humane methods of establishing peace," he said.

He also said all the world's religions have the same common ground, "justice and friendship." The views of all religions must be respected and "we must all move hand in hand," Ahmadinejad said.

Earlier in an interview with The Associated Press, Ahmadinejad said he didn't think the United States was preparing for war against Iran. "I believe that some of the talk in this regard arises first of all from anger. Secondly, it serves the electoral purposes domestically in this country. Third, it serves as a cover for policy failures over Iraq," he told the AP.

The Iranian president said his country would not attack Israel. "Iran will not attack any country," the AP quoted Ahmadinejad as saying.

Despite an outcry against Ahmadinejad that included New York tabloid headlines such as "The Evil Has Landed," John Coatsworth, acting dean of Columbia's School of International and Public Affairs, said it is important for Americans to hear from the Iranian leader.

"Iran is going to ... hold the key to peace in the Middle East. We have to deal with and negotiate with leaders like this however much we may disagree with their views," Coatsworth said on CNN's "American Morning."

Christine C. Quinn, speaker of the New York City Council, said Columbia should not be giving Ahmadinejad a platform. "All he will do on that stage ... is spew more hatred and more venom out there to the world," Quinn said. Hamid Dabasi, a professor of Iranian studies at Columbia, called the whole forum "misguided."

Ahmadinejad also has drawn fire for his insistence that Iran will defy international demands that it halt production of enriched uranium. Iran insists it is producing nuclear fuel for civilian power plants, but Washington accuses Tehran of trying to create a nuclear weapons program.

Also, the United States says Iranian explosives and weapons are making their way to Shiite Muslim militias in Iraq's sectarian conflict and have been used against U.S. troops in the 4-year-old war. U.S. commanders say they have captured Iranian agents involved in supplying those weapons to the militias, some of which have longstanding ties to the Islamic republic.

In an interview broadcast Sunday on CBS' "60 Minutes," Ahmadinejad denied U.S. accusations that Iranian weapons are being used against American troops in Iraq, saying, "Insecurity in Iraq is detrimental to our interests."

He said U.S. officials are blaming his country for problems unleashed by the American-led invasion of Iraq in 2003.

"American officials, wherever around the world that they encounter a problem which they fail to resolve, instead of accepting that, they prefer to accuse others," he said. "I'm very sorry that because of the wrong decisions taken by American officials, Iraqi people are being killed and also American soldiers."

He added, "If they accuse us 1,000 times, the truth will not change."

Ahmadinejad landed in New York on Sunday to attend the U.N. General Assembly session, which opens Monday. He is set to speak Tuesday at the United Nations.

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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For those who thought they had seen it all!

Break dancing Jews, none the less! Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Sunday, September 23, 2007

GOODBYE!


Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Kim, get in line!

Fearless Leader Kim Jong-ill apparently doesn't read the papers otherwise he would have seen that Larry Dickhead was the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby.
Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Brad, Tom and John. The three stooges!

I started thinking about Hollywood Stars and they must really live on a different planet. Here the two biggest celebrities are on a ......... what would you call it?

I guess the best explaination is that Brad Pitt is all fucked up on Angelina and Tom Cruise is all fucked up on Scientology. (And John Trovolta!)

Aren't there any normal people like us left?

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Billy-Bob is O.K.

The "Missus Herself" was filling me in on all the latest gossip this morning and we got to talking about a friend of her daughters who named their new born son William Robert.

This was a perfect opportunity for me to say; "Oh, another Billy-Bob."

Naturally this led into a discussion about Billy Bob Thornton and which one of the two (Angelina) was the culprit in their much publicised split.

After weighing all the evidence we came to the conclusion that Billy-Bob is firmly grounded in reality and Angelina, with all her idiosyncrasies, adopting kids left right and centre and her father saying she had mental problems was the basket case.

This leaves Brad Pitt in the uncomfortable position of waking up one day after the initial euphoria has worn off and finding out that he is married to a lunatic.

This story is far from over folks!!!

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Sunday Morning Funnies #22

I GIVE THIS BLOG A FIVE OUT OF TEN BUT WHAT THE HELL, YOU CAN'T HIT A HOME RUN EVERY TIME AT BAT, CAN YOU THERE BUNKY!

No one knows when the first joke beginning with the six words "A guy walks into a bar . . ." was told, or how it went. Nevertheless, an entire genre of jokes has been created revolving around that opening scenario. Here's a sampling of some of the variants that have sprung up, many now involving animals or inanimate objects:

A guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."

An amnesiac walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do I come here often?"

A guy with dyslexia walks into a bra.

A young Texan walks into a bar and orders a drink. "Got any ID?" asks the bartender. The Texan replies, "About what?"

A pair of battery jumper cables walk into a bar. The bartender says, "You can come in here, but you better not start anything!"

A Latin scholar walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a martinus." The bartender asks him. "Don't you mean martini?" The man tells the bartender, "Listen, if I wanted two or more drinks I would have asked for them." (See the article on Latin Phrases!)

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "So, why the long face?" A variant on this joke during the 2004 presidential campaign substituted John Kerry for the horse, but the punch line remains the same.

A penguin walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Has my father been in here?" The bartender says, "I don't know. What does he look like?"

A brain goes into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have a beer, please." The bartender says, "Sorry, I can't serve you. You're out of your head."

A little pig goes into a bar and orders ten drinks. He finishes them and the bartender says, "Don't you want to know where the toilet is?" The pig says, "No, thanks, I go wee-wee-wee all the way home."

René Descartes is in a bar at closing time. The bartender asks him if he'd like another drink. Descartes says, "I think not," and he disappears.

A kangaroo walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "That'll be $10. You know, we don't get many kangaroos coming in here." The kangaroo says, "At $10 a beer, it's not hard to understand."

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

A cheeseburger walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."

A dog with his foot wrapped in a bloody bandage hobbles into a Western saloon. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin' fer the man that shot my paw."

A baby seal walks into a bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "Anything but a Canadian Club," replies the seal.

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You've got a drink named Steve?"

A goldfish flops into a bar and looks at the bartender. The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" The goldfish says, "Water."

A guy walks into a bar and sits down next to a lady and a dog. The man asks, "Does your dog bite?" The lady answers, "Never!" The man reaches out to pet the dog, and the dog bites his hand. The man says, "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" The woman replies, "He doesn't. That's not my dog."

A guy walks into a bar. A horse behind the bar serving drinks. The guy is just staring at the horse, when the horse says, "What are you staring at? Haven't you ever seen a horse serving drinks before?" The guy says, "Honestly, no. I never thought the parrot would sell the place."

A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The skeleton says, "Give me a beer, and a mop."

A guy walks into a bar in Cork, in Ireland, and asks the barman: "What's the quickest way to get to Dublin?" "Are you walking or driving?" asks the barman. "Driving," says a man. "That's the quickest way," says the barman.

A fellow walks into a pub near Buckingham Palace in London, sits down, and says, "Give me a beer. I've had a rough day at work." And the bartender says, "Oh? What do you do?" The guy says, "I take care of the corgis--you know, the dogs the royal family owns." The bartender asks, "Tough job, huh? The guy says, "Yeah. All that inbreeding has led to low intelligence and bad temperaments. And the dogs aren't too smart, either."

A man goes into a bar and says, "Give me a drink before the trouble starts." And the bartender pours him a drink. He drinks it and says, "Give me another drink before the trouble starts." He downs that one and says quotation mark, give me another drink before the trouble starts." Finally, the bartender asks, "Just when is this trouble going to start?" The man says, "The trouble starts just as soon as I tell you that I don't have any money."

A tourist goes into a bar where a dog is sitting in a chair playing poker. He asks, "Is that dog there really playing poker?" And the bartender says, "Yeah, but he's not too smart. Whenever he has a good hand, he starts wagging his tail."

This cowboy walks into a bar and orders a beer. His hat is made of brown wrapping paper. And so are his shirt, vest, chaps, pants, and boots. His spurs are also made of paper. Pretty soon, the sheriff arrives and arrests him for rustling.

A guy goes into a bar, orders four shots of the most expensive 30-year-old single malt Scotch whisky and downs them one after the other. The bartender says, "You seem to be in a great hurry." The guy says, "You would be too if you had what I have." The bartender asks, "What have you got? "Fifty cents," is the reply.

A Northerner walks into a bar in the Deep South around Christmas time. A small nativity scene is behind the bar, and the guy says, "That's a nice nativity scene. But how come the three wise men are all wearing firemen's hats?" And the bartender says, "Well, it says right there in the Bible--the three wise men came from afar."

A man walked into a bar, sat down, and ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer, he heard a voice say, "Nice tie." Looking around, he saw that the bar was empty except for him and the bartender. A few sips later, another voice said, "Beautiful shirt." At this, the man calls the bartender over. "Say, I must be losing my mind," he tells him. "I keep hearing these voices say nice things, and there is not a soul in here but us." "It's the peanuts," explains the bartender, indicating a dish on the bar. "The peanuts?" "That's right, the peanuts--they're complementary."

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. He says, "A beer for me and one for my giraffe." And they stand around drinking for hours until the giraffe passes out on the floor. The man pays the tab and gets up to leave. The bartender says, "Hey! You're not going to leave that lyin' on the floor, are you?" The man says, "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe."

A guy walks into a bar with a German shepherd dog. The bartender says, "Hey buddy, can't you read that sign? It says no dogs allowed! Get that mutt out of here!" The man replies, "No, I can't read the sign--I'm blind, and this is my Seeing Eye dog." The bartender is embarrassed and gives the man a beer on the house. Later that day, the man tells his friend about it: "I told him I was blind, and I got a free beer!" The friend then takes his dog into the bar and sits down. The bartender says, "The sign says no dogs allowed! You'll have to leave!" The friend says, "Sorry, I can't see the sign because I'm blind, and this is my Seeing Eye dog." The bartender replies, "Since when do they give out Chihuahuas as Seeing Eye dogs?" The man says, "They gave me a Chihuahua?"

A blind man walks into a bar, grabs his dog by its hind legs and swings him around in a circle. The bartender says, "Hey, buddy, what are you doing?" And the blind man says, "Don't mind me. I'm just looking around."

A man walks into a bar looking sad, and the bartender asks him, "What's the matter?" The man says, "My wife and I had a fight, and she told me she wasn't going to speak to me for a month. The month is up today."

This guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He looks in his pocket and orders another drink, looks in his pocket and orders still another drink. His curiosity aroused, the bartender asks, "What are you doing? What's in your pocket?" And the guy says, "It's a picture of my wife. When she starts looking good to me, I know it's time to go home."AND

And finally; A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar........... the bartender says............... what is this.......a joke?

A 24-year-old man arrested in the US state of Pennsylvania for holding up a convenience store wearing nothing but a hat has told police he did it because he was bored, according to local reports.

Police were questioning Carl Wagner over a separate incident of indecent exposure when they recognized him from a surveillance video in which he can be seen entering the store naked but apparently covering his manhood with a hand.

"We actually had an incident where the gentleman lives where he was exposing himself to two females. He was initially brought in on that accusation," Carbondale police sergeant Thomas Heller told local television channel WNEP.

"We put two and two together, it was definitely him," he added. Police said that Wagner had admitted carrying out the stick up and had been charged with robbery, open lewdness and indecent exposure.

Officials said the man demanded money from the clerk, who refused to hand anything over and called the police.

The robber then fled the store empty handed.

Wagner appeared in court on Tuesday fully dressed. Asked by police why he carried out the attempted robbery, he said he was bored.

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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