Saturday, November 24, 2007

Another First for Perspective!

The crack investigative team here at "Perspective" has just uncovered a long hidden fact that the Michelin Man is in reality the Pilsbury Dough Boy on steriods!

Both Michelin and Pilsbury have declined to give a comment but we do expect a statement from the Michelin Man in the next few days. Stay tuned!

(Pilsbury has been rumored to be seeking legal advice in case the allegations prove to be true!)

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Ron Paul

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com


Asshole of the Week! #61

It is with great pride and pleasure, plus a resounding fart, that we give this week's trophy to "Taser International!"


These tasers are sold in a variety of styles and colors to civilian consumers across the U.S. The hip, chic, with it and Oh so stylish accessories come in everything from "metallic pink" to "electric Blue" and retail from $299 to $349 and can even be purchased on-line! (The Taser C2 uses the same technology as law enforcement models and has "incredible takedown power," according to the site.)

The special "Taser Cam," which features a video and audio recording component for "enhanced accountability" sells for $499.

(The next time I go to play paintball, I'm going to take a taser instead.)

Then let's hear someone say; "ya missed," as they're flopping around on the floor!

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Saturday Morning Confusion #26

Merry Christmas...... ZAP!

I don't understand this at all. Here in Canada there is a terrific uproar over the use of tasers by police departments and it looks like these "guns" are going to be banned as being too dangerous.

(Right now tasers are prohibited weapons except for law enforcement officers.)

Meanwhile, down in the good 'ol U. S. of A. (which by the way has the world's highest gun homicide rate) the manufacterer of "stun guns" is promoting them as perfect "Christmas Presents" for the Missus!

"What does Santa bring you when you have been good and the world is getting bad?"
Yes sir, boys and girls, get the wife a stun gun to make her feel safer out on the mean streets of America's cities.

Then, the next time you two have a fight watch her turn around and zap the shit out of YOU!

As you lay there twitching on the floor it might occur to you that a stun gun wasn't such a good gift idea after all. But then again, hindsight is 20/20....... ain't it, Bunky?

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Friday, November 23, 2007

It's a strange, strange world we live in, Master Jack!

It's a strange world and strange people come in all shapes and sizes, denominations , convictions and afflictions.

I just read an article on the meaning of consciousness and un-consciousness and how it affects our daily life. Some idiot went on and on with medical and psychological terms about the meaning and purpose behind them when he didn't realize that the main purpose of consciousness is to stop you from bumping into things when you are walking around!
Atheists were telling me that religion is nothing more than a belief system while not realizing that this holds true for Atheism as well.

Another so called expert went on for pages about the meaning of dreams when everyone knows that dreams happened so that sleeping isn't boring.

And all these people that debate whether there is intelligent life on other planets. The obvious answer is that I'm not sure there is intelligent life on this planet, but on a serious note, if there were no life, intelligent or otherwise in this vast universe then God sure wasted a lot of space.

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at http://www.god-101.com/ and the blog "Perspective" at http://god-101.blogspot.com/

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Dear Sir:

Dear Sir;

I have been a loyal user of your Always Maxi Pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak GuardCore(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts.

But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a period? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't.

Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills. "

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from "Aunt Flo."

Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."

Are you fucking kidding me? Does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a period?

Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it?

FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Kmart armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, if you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong", or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull shit.

And that's a promise I will keep. Always.


A former customer!

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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The Bible!


10. Intercession / Predestination (select events being caused by prayer, or all events being “God’s will”)
9. Manifestations (face of Jesus in grilled cheese, potato chip, etc.)
8. Creationism / Intelligent Design
7. “Young Earth” Hypothesis / Non-Existence of Dinosaurs / Coexistence of Dinosaurs with Man
6. Existence of the Devil at all
5. Demonic Possession / Exorcism
4. Rapture / Second-Coming / Apocalypse Scenarios / “The Antichrist”
3. Geocentrism
2. The Tower of Babel
1. Noah’s Ark / The Flood

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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The Mrs. Herself doesn't normally get too involved with this blog but when she gave me this piece I thought I had better put it in here.

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old.

Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.

Old Age, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself.

I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio.

I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, and if I,
at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love .. I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.

They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car?

Broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.

So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day.

(If I feel like it)

I think that you will agree with me that she is a pretty smart cookie. (For an old broad!) ;-)

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Thursday, November 22, 2007

Does a Bear Shit in the Woods?

(Not a polar bear!)
Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Happy Thanksgiving

Today is the American Thanksgiving and the entire "Perspective" staff and I would like to wish our neighbours south of the border a very happy Thanksgiving. Enjoy it with friends and family.Also, on a side note, don't go too crazy tomorrow with the shopping thing!!!

Since I am a Canadian, I thought I would put up this reminder from "Joe" and then William Shatner on what we have to celebrate here in the "Great White North!"

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at http://www.god-101.com/ and the blog "Perspective" at http://god-101.blogspot.com/

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How slow can you go?

The award winning crack research staff here at "Perspective" ->
got a news release from CBC news this morning that should give all of us pause.

Increasing internet access and new capacity-intensive uses like streaming, interactive videos and shared music files are pushing the system toward gridlock, a U.S. study warns.

The report by Nemertes Research said "internet access infrastructure, specifically in North America, will likely cease to be adequate for supporting demand within the next three to five years."

The company is not predicting that the internet will collapse, but it will get very slow. "Overall, transmitting over a saturated broadband link will feel a lot like the bad old days of dial-up: Long pauses between request and response, with some applications just too painful to bother with."

The biggest impact will be felt as investment in new applications dries up.

The next Google, YouTube, or Amazon might not arise, not because of a lack of demand, but due to an inability to fulfil that demand," the report said.

Nemertes calls for additional spending of up to $55 billion US, or about 70 per cent more than internet service providers are planning to spend, to build new capacity to avoid the slowdown.

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at http://www.god-101.com/ and the blog "Perspective" at http://god-101.blogspot.com/

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Wednesday, November 21, 2007

The Edge

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It's a Dog's Life!

Remember when Leonna Hemsley left her dog $12 million bucks? She's not the only nut, these are all real dog-houses, air conditioning and all!

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at http://www.god-101.com/ and the blog "Perspective" at http://god-101.blogspot.com/

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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Richard Jeni - Platypus Man

It's now been a little over six months since the death of Richard Jeni.
Here is a reminder of what made him so special!

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Freeeeee Book!

I want to promote my book a little so I am happy to give a PDF copy to the first 50 people that send me an e-mail requesting one.

If you're wondering what it's about: God-101 presents an insight into the history of religion from the earliest Animism to how the teachings of "Jesus" were overlaid with Greek philosophy, Pagan beliefs and Pauline thought to become the sayings of 'The Christ' and form the basis of our modern Bible.

God-101 also gives an analysis of how the priesthood and priest craft has corrupted Christianity and the other major religions.

It shows how “religious dogma” has led to the polarization of different sects within the same religion,(Catholic/Protestant – Shiite/Sunni) and how religious strife affects society as a whole, including the upcoming world – wide - clash between Christianity and Islam!

E-mail me at allanjanssen@rogers.com or www.God-101.com

If you would like a paperback or hardcover version, it is available for a nominal fee at Amazon.com; "The Plain Truth About God-101"


Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Cops are Liars (among other things)

I will start this post with a confession.

Back between 1987 and 1997 I drank way too much for a variety of reasons, none of which are important now.

I started to think that maybe it wasn't such a good thing for my health or sanity after a few arrests for public drunkenness and a DUI!

The clincher was in 1995 when I was in downtown London at a bus stop waiting to take a bus home when I was again arrested for being pissed.

The first part of my detention was rather uneventful until we got to the police station. There I made the mistake of telling the cop that was taking me out of the cruiser to go take a "flying fuck!"

For my candor I had two front teeth kicked out and then I was charged with assaulting the cop to make it harder for me to sue them.

The Special Investigations Unit, (A civilian watchdog agency) got involved and hounded me for months to give them all the details, since they wanted this guy for a bunch of incidences where he had gotten carried away with his treatment of prisoners and his conduct in general.

(I won't tell you about the time this cowboy was on his way to a crime, and even though the call was cancelled he continued to roar through town with sirens blasting until he finally went through a red light and killed another motorist! As far as I remember the cop got a slap on the wrist for this.)

After loosing my teeth, I decided that enough was enough, and let the matter drop rather than have the cops follow me around a harass me for making trouble for them.

It did, however, lead me to the conclusion that cops very quickly forget that their purpose is to uphold the law.

Instead they rapidly loose that perspective and start to think that they ARE the law, which leads to a very dangerous mind-set on the part of the police.

I won't even get into the stories about Rodney King or others but instead focus on recent events right here in Canada

Now don't get the impression that I think all cops are lyin' bastards, because that is not true. When it comes to covering up their own ass and closing rank to protect themselves, only most of them are lyin bastards.

There are also one or two good cops.

Here is the latest hue and cry in the papers about our police forces.

There was a guy at the Vancouver airport last month who was killed when the RCMP tried to arrest him.

To make this long story short he was needlessly tasered twice and died while in custody.

Just so you don't think this is my bias against the police force I will give you part of an editorial by Greg Weston of the Sun Media Group on what happened that day!

The Polish immigrant's first and fatal encounter with four RCMP leadfoots and a 50,000-volt stun gun was amply documented in the now famous amateur death video taken by a civilian bystander, Paul Pritchard.

While right-thinking Canadians everywhere are disgusted and outraged over the incident, it is clear from the video that the Mounties did their spinning best to cover up the whole affair.

This is one sick story: At age 40, Dziekanski had never been away from his home in Poland, much less on an airplane, when he landed in Vancouver exhausted and confused after more than 20 hours in transit.

After seven more hours of bureaucratic hell in the airport, with no food or water, and no one to translate for him as he searched in vain for his mother, Dziekanski tossed a piece of computer gear on the floor, and a small wooden folding chair at a partition.


The video showed the four RCMP officers arriving on the scene a few minutes later, Dziekanski backing up with his hands in the air, and suddenly he is screaming in agony on the floor.

Even as he is writhing in pain from the first jolt of 50,000 volts, he is zapped again, as the burly RCMP officers descend on him, at least two knees on his back and neck as he lies face down.

By the time the cops are finished, he is dead.

RCMP spokesman Sgt. Pierre Lemaitre subsequently told reporters that when police arrived on the scene, they tried to calm down Dziekanski, but he continued "throwing things around" until he had to be subdued. False.

Lemaitre went on to say the first Taser shot "didn't seem to have any effect on him." False.

The officers held the victim down by the shoulders face up, he said. False.

The one thing the RCMP spokesman did not mention to the media was they had seized Pritchard's home-video showing the entire incident.

Indeed, if Pritchard had not taken court action to get his video back, and then posted it on the web last week, the RCMP might well have gotten away with explanations of the incident we would generously describe as a pile of crap.

And where was commissioner Elliott while all of this deception was going on in his department?

For 34 days after Dziekanski's death, Elliott remained completely silent, finally issuing a statement last Saturday -- four days after the damning video became public.

Elliott called the affair "tragic," but insisted that while the images on the video are "disturbing," no one should draw conclusions from them.

Baloney. One conclusion from the video is that the RCMP spokesman was not telling the truth.


Since it is likely the spokesman was only the messenger, what has commissioner Elliott done in the last month to ferret out the RCMP official(s) responsible for feeding so much misinformation (lying) to the public?

This was not a case of four officers having their recollections distorted by the heat of the moment -- the RCMP had the home video.
As I said, police forces in this country and others develop an "us vs. them" mentality and when you combine this with an acquired belief that they are above the law we get into very dangerous territory.

Probably the best example of this is the taser gun itself.

The original purpose of tasers was as a substitute for "Deadly Force."

Instead of shooting someone that was threatening them with a weapon, cops could use the taser and not have to kill the guy.

BUT, because the police are a law onto themselves some bright guy arbitrarily decided that a taser would be a perfect tool for enforcing COMPLIANCE on suspects without the trouble or bother of having to physically restrain them.

Once this was established they just started zapping everyone left, right and centre!

I will leave this with a comment from a reader here in London.

Thank goodness for the video!

Having the RCMP investigate the RCMP's conduct into the taser death of a Polish immigrant at Vancouver International Airport is nothing short of absurd.

Indeed, having any Canadian police force - all of which must rely on the RCMP from time to time - to investigate the conduct of other police officers - is absurd.

It is long past due for this country to have an independent, civilian body to look into the conduct of police officers and to review police procedures.

The amateur video capturing the last 10 minutes of the life of Robert Dziekanski, 40, is extremely troubling on many levels.

First, it proves that the initial official statements issued by the RCMP following Dziekanski's death were inaccurate to put it mildly.

RCMP admitted that they tasered the disoriented and agitated man twice.

"(The taser) didn't seem to have any kind of effect on him," said Sgt. Pierre Lemaitre shortly after Dziekanski's Oct. 14 death.

In fact, the video clearly shows the taser having a profound effect on Dziekanski, who started to scream and fell to the ground writhing in pain and panic, which is when he was tasered again before lapsing into unconsciousness and dying.

Liberal Public Safety Critic Ujjal Dosanjh is right to call on the Harper Conservative government to establish public hearings in order to develop national guidelines for the use of tasers.

Police argue that tasers save lives since they give officers an alternative to using their firearms.

If that were the only circumstance in which these potentially deadly devices were used, then this debate, which is raging around the world, wouldn't be taking place.

Instead, this gut-wrenching video proves that the RCMP officers who attended to a clearly disturbed Dziekanski used the taser as a first resort within 23 seconds of approaching Dziekanski, who was breathing heavily and sweating.

This shameful incident has sullied Canada's reputation around the world.

Independent oversight would go a long way to preventing this kind of abuse of power in the future.

POSTED BY: Licia Corbella, london

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Thank You!

Subject: Message to www.god-101.com

recipient: allanjanssen@rogers.com

email: annwn@atlanticbb.net

full_name: Carolyn


Thank you so much for being the very first person I've come into contact with who actually gets history!

When you understand history/anthropology, the truth is simply logical, but believers sometimes have a difficult time with both history and logic. I've been saying for years that Xtianity is the 'original' cult.

Carolyn; Thank you, thank you. What a breath of fresh air to hear someone say that instead of calling me a Godless Bastard or Infidel.

The whole book is based on common sense and logic instead of superstition and dogma when looking at our belief systems.

It is my attempt to foster reason, not to denigrate religion.

Allan W Janssen

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Monday, November 19, 2007

What Happens When the Right Wing Runs Things!

As of today, there are more than 1.5 million people in US state and federal jails, a report by a Washington-based criminal justice research group, the JFA Institute says.

The Unlocking America report, which was published today, also advocated changing terms of parole and finding alternatives to prison as part of a major overhaul of the US justice system.

"There is no evidence that keeping people in prison longer makes us any safer," said JFA president James Austin.
The report said that US crime rates, which have been in decline since the 1990s, are about the same as those for 1970.

Meanwhile, the US prison population has risen eight-fold since 1970, at great cost to the taxpayer, researchers say.

It says the incarceration rate has soared because sentences have got longer and those who violate parole or probation are more likely to be given prison terms.

The report said that every year hundreds of thousands of Americans are sent to jail "for crimes that pose little if any danger or harm to society".

It cited several examples including a Florida woman's two-year sentence for throwing a cup of coffee at another car in a traffic row.
Its recommendations run counter to the Bush administration's policy of longer, harsher sentences, which the government says has contributed to falling violent crime and murder figures.

The report was funded by the Rosenbaum Foundation and the Open Society Institute.

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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The Day the Universe Changed Episode #10

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com


God Hates Women Part #2


You certainly aren't a feminist. Your crude treatment of women on your blog has been grossly propagated.

So, as an atheist, I guess that leaves you to worship... yourself?

All bow down to the god of demigods.

Allan said...

Once again I will explain my position! (Sound like a lawyer here eh!)

First of all I believe you have to be female to be a feminist and no, I don't agree with the feminist philosophy but I don't mind helping their cause because it pisses-off the misogynists amongst us.

Just the same I don't like the way religion subjugates women and think it needs to be changed.

I am also not an atheist nor a Christian.

What I am is an agnostic who believes in God but not the fact that Jesus was physically resurrected. When you're dead, you're dead. Period.

(It is possible that the risen Jesus was actually his spirit, but certainly not his physical self.)

AND, my beef is with mainstream (man made) religion, not spirituality.

Allan W Jansen

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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Sunday, November 18, 2007

God Hates Women

Feminism and religion do not mix.
Guest post by Allison Kilkenny

Most religions have a creepy fixation with the eradication of women's vaginas.

Some African cultures mutilate the clitoris and sew the vagina shut for the sake of maintaining virginal "purity." Other zealots don't like their saviors free-falling from the womb. In fact, ideological fanatics have done everything in their power to explain away the vagina.

God impregnated Mary from his great big bachelor pad in the sky, fat little Buddha burst from his mother's side, and we know little of Amna, Mohammad's mother, let alone his actual birth, but we can assume the good prophet didn't sully himself in vaginal juices.

Like the rest of the prophets, Mohammad probably materialized from the heavens. After all, a woman's body is a dirty, sinful thing, which is why women are taught from an early age to be ashamed of their bodies and to keep them covered always.

The belief in a divine creator aside, no rational person can seriously argue that feminism and religiosity can coexist. If you claim to be a religious person, you are not a feminist, nor if you believe men and women are inherently equals can you claim to believe in the fundamental beliefs of any religion.

As far as I know, there is no religion on Earth that presents men and women as exact equals.

The most popular version of Christianity claims women are inherently subservient to men, since Eve came from Adam's rib. Meanwhile, Mohammad married at least 11 times during his life, and his favorite wife, Ayesha Bibi, was six-years-old when he married her. Sexy.

Here are some jewels from the Quran, the sacred text of Islam:

II/223: Your women are a tilth for you (to cultivate). So go to your tilth as ye will...

I don't know about you, but if some dude walked up to me at a bar and said, "Hey, baby. Mind if I plow your field?" that man will receive my fist in his eye socket.

IV/34: Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other ... As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them.

Short and simple: Men are superior to women. Women are to be controlled, whether through violence or fear.

IV/15: (to women) If any one of your women is guilty of lewdness ... confine them until death claims them.

IV/16: (for men) If two men among you commit indecency (sodomy) punish them both. If they repent and mend their ways, let them be. Allah is forgiving and merciful.

Homophobia aside, we see Allah, much like God, is all sunshine and puppy kisses, forgiving and loving, until you're a woman and you sin. Then, you're a whore in need of punishment.

In fairness to Mohammad, the God of the Christian bible is no better than the typical baby's daddy you see on an episode of COPS. Picture the big, white dude in the sky who orated this stirring tale:

Exodus 21:7-10 shows us that it is perfectly cool to sell your daughter into slavery and allow her master to rape her. Also in Exodus (22:16-17), if a man sleeps with a virgin (with or without her consent,) he must marry her.

However, if her father refuses to allow her to wed, the man must then pay the father a dowry of virgins. How does the recently deflowered virgin feel about being treated like a piece of property? Well, funnily enough, we don't know.

The Bible doesn't seem concerned about her feelings.

Leviticus chapter 12 reminds us that women are unclean. After giving birth to a boy, a woman is considered unclean for seven days. However, if she has given birth to a girl, she is unclean for 33 days.

Regardless, the concept that a woman is somehow unclean after giving birth is ludicrous. Of course, all religions fear the vagina, so it makes sense that the scribes (along with all men) went into a complete tizzy after childbirth, which very much relies upon the vagina.

Leviticus 19:20-22 teaches us that a man can rape his female slaves and be forgiven, though the slave must be punished. Likewise, Deuteronomy 22:28-29 reminds us that a man can rape a virgin, though he must marry her, and also pay her father 50 shekels.

The Bible is a weird, scary place. In case you needed further proof of that, along comes 1 Samuel 18:25-27 where Saul sells his daughter to David.

Instead of wanting to be paid money for his daughter, Saul asks for ... are you ready? Saul asks for the foreskins of 100 Philistine men.

.... WHAT? There's a happy ending, though. David gives 200 foreskins, a profit of 100 foreskins for Saul to squirrel away for the winter. HUZZAH!

Eastern religions, such as Hinduism, leave no room for interpretation when it comes to the role of women: "By a girl, by a young woman, or even by an aged one, nothing must be done independently, even in her own house. In childhood a female must be subject to her father, in youth to her husband, when her lord is dead to her sons; a woman must never be independent". (Laws of Manu, V, 147-8).

Women are subservient to men and inherently inferior, period.

What about Eastern religions?

Even Buddhism has been used to repress people (especially women), such as under Hirohito's rule and currently in Burma. The armies that began the horrible civil wars in Sri Lanka during the '50s and '60s were comprised of Buddhists.

The Theravadan Buddhists claim a woman could never become a Buddha.

A popular belief in Buddhist countries is that negative karma results in a man being reborn as a woman. Again, the female gender's state is seen as a punishment, one filled with shame.

Buddhism teaches that institutions like marriage must be regulated by society though social, political, and legal processes. This does not mean Buddhism is a progressive religion. Rather, it's sort of like passing the buck. We don't want to say women are equal to men, so we'll just let you figure it out.

If you decide they're equal, fine. If you decide she's the social equivalent of a cow, and you can sell her for a dowry, that's cool too. I'll just be over here, under my Bodhi tree.

Jainism is frequently referenced as the one truly peaceful religion. They even cover their mouths whilst walking outside so they cannot accidentally inhale a defenseless bug.

Surely they, the Jains, are enlightened in matters of gender. Think again. Jainism does not teach that women can gain ultimate spiritual liberation, though a woman could strive to become a man in her next life so she could then reach enlightenment.

What happens when so-called feminists create alliances with religion?

You get police-sponsored Iranian fashion shows with women dressed in different colored Hijab. Viva La Revolucion! What better way to freely express creativity, passion, and art than in the free world of fashion?

The liberated, passionate world of art, music, and fashion cannot coexist with a regime that maintains these guidelines for women's dress:

Conditions of Islamic Dress Code

1. Clothing must cover the entire body, only the hands and face may remain visible (According to some Hiqh Schools).

2. The material must not be so thin that one can see through it.

3. The clothing must hang loose so that the shape / form of the body is not apparent.

4. The female clothing must not resemble the man's clothing.

5. The design of the clothing must not resemble the clothing of the non-believing women.

6. The design must not consist of bold designs which attract attention.

7. Clothing should not be worn for the sole purpose of gaining reputation or increasing one's status in society.

Sounds chic, doesn't it? But hey, Allah never said he wanted fashion shows. He said: "Say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty ; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear thereof. " [Quran : 24.31]

Now get into your burka, and shut up.

It's sad and embarrassing when feminists try to rationalize their religiosity, say with Iranian fashion shows. It's not tolerance. It's hypocrisy, illogical and downright silly. It's a bit like watching a black person try to explain why they vote Republican.

Essentially, there is no way to reconcile the rational hope of all genders peacefully coexisting with irrational dogmas. Modern feminists desperately attempt to reshape their religions into something that looks vaguely modern and tolerant, but at their cores, all religions are sexist and repressive.

If the only proof of a religion's dictated guidelines to morality are their religious texts, then we must believe that the Bible, Quran, and Buddhist sutras, vinaya, and abhidharma all represent the core beliefs of their religious sources.

If we are to believe they are not truly reflective of their religious roots, then why did God dictate incorrect information to his scribes?

If the errors of the texts are man's folly, why has God not corrected them or made his true beliefs known? God is, after all, the supposed creator of the cosmos. Surely, he could have given us a Bible 2.0 by now. Perhaps a Bible XP?

No, we must assume these texts are truly reflective of their religion's ideologies.

With that assumption firmly cemented, we see that there is no room in religion for feminism, the doctrine advocating the equality of rights, social and political, with those of men.

For feminism to work, it must exist outside of the constraining margins of religion.

It must operate outside of the assumption that women are inferior to men, which is a foundational belief of the major theologies. Or, feminists must attempt to rationalize their religious ideologies to reconcile them with their desire for social equality, which is an impossible order.

You end up changing the definition of your religion by rejecting their sacred texts or you change the definition of feminism so it says: I want to be equal always, except when it comes to your religion that says I am inferior, and I accept that.

Either you are a feminist and you reject religion, or you are a worshiper and you reject the concept that the genders are equal.

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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The Day the Universe Changed Episode #9

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com


Sunday Morning Funnies #21

I heard about this guy who broke into a lion's den at the zoo and got mauled and people were talking about how there should have been better defenses put up to prevent people getting into the cage.

A friend of mine suggested setting up some kind of deterrent, for example, putting some sort of fierce animal in the cage, which would attack anybody who climbed in!


George Carlin, whose wife recently passed away, wrote the following eloquent and appropriate piece on our times:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more
knowledge , but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less.

We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.

A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

George Carlin.


A little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig.

The poor little guy starts crying.

"Come on man. I was just giving you a hard time," the biker says. "I can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," says the little guy between sobs. "I can't do anything right. I overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I don't have any insurance. I grabbed a cab home but, after the cab left, I discovered my wallet was still in the cab. At home I found my wife in bed with the gardener and my dog bit me. So I came to this bar trying to work up the courage to put an end to my life, and then you show up and drink the poison!"


George W. Bush had a heart attack and died. He went to hell where the Devil was waiting for him. 'I don't know what to do here,' said the devil. 'You are on my list but I have no room for you.

You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves.'

The devil open the first room: in it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty-handed over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.

'No!' Bush said. ' I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day.'

The devil led him to the next room: In it was Tony Blair with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time.

No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!' commented Bush.

The devil opened the third door. In it, Bush saw Bill Clinton lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinski, doing what she did best.

Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, Yeah, I can handle this.'

The devil smiled and said, 'Okay, Monica, you're free to go!'


A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Harry what is your problem?” Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!”

The teacher had had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. The teacher agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”

Harry: “9″.

Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”

Harry: “36″.

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, “I think Harry can go to the third-grade.”

The teacher says to the principal, “Let me ask him some questions?”

The principal and Harry both agree.

The teacher asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?”

Harry, after a moment, “Legs.”

Teacher: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?” The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!

Harry replied, “Pockets.”

Teacher: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?”

Harry: “Pants”

Teacher: What’s starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Harry: Coconut

The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry was taking charge.

Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?

Harry: Bubblegum

Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?

The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.

Harry: Shake hands

Teacher: Now I will ask some “Who am I” sort of questions, okay?

Harry: Yep.

Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

Harry: Tent

Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first.

Principal was looking restless and bit tense.

Harry: Wedding Ring

Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

Harry: Nose

Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Harry: Arrow

Teacher: What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means a lot of excitement?

Harry: Firetruck

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, “Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I missed the last ten questions myself.”

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God at www.God-101.com and the blog "Perspective" at http://God-101.blogspot.com

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