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Middle aged heterosexual, WASP male. Semi retired, semi-sane and semi-serious. And endangered species and I'm not going quietly!!!!

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Last Laugh, or, He Bought the Farm!

Ever have one of those days where you are just driving along and see something that makes you slam on your brakes and say "why didn't I have my camera here!"

This is one of them.

I was driving past a new subdivision on the edge of London (Ont) that had really expensive homes (Mansion size) when among them I saw a small simple house for sale.

I couldn't believe the contrast and said to a guy walking along the road,..... "poor guy is being forced out because he's embarrassed by his small house in such an expensive neighborhood eh!"

He turns to me and said; "I'm the guy, and these people are each paying me many, many times what I originally paid for the entire farm!"

Your scribe'
Allan W Janssen

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Lordy, Lordy

When I was a young man back there in seminary school
There was a person who put forth the proposition
That you can petition the LORD, with prayer.

Petition the LORD with PRAYER!


(Jim Morrison from the song, The Soft Parade!)

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Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Stand Up For Jesus, Damn It!

In an attempt to clarify a statement he made over the weekend, Jesus issued a news release today in which he said " Oh, excuse me, but I thought you said erection, not Resurrection.

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) www.God-101.com

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Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Jesus Takes the Fifth!

In a news conference today Jesus responded to James Cameron's documentary this past weekend about his final resting place and the whole issue of Resurrection.

A nervous Mr. Christ said he was forced to "take the fifth" on that question, and was then seen going behind the podium to drink a fifth of scotch!!!

Allan W Janssen is the author of The Plain Truth About God-101 (what the church doesn't want you to know!) www.God-101.com

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Sunday, March 04, 2007

Oh God

I don't know if it's just me being sappy but I looked at this picture and started to cry because it's so beautiful. And who says there is no God!

After looking at this I know there is a God........
Just don't know if God gives a shit!
And that's all I have to say about that!
Except maybe I'm a fucking asshole too!

While we are on the subject, let me give you a quote from my book "God-101" where God (George Burns) says to John Denver "Life is a crap shoot son, and you take your chances like every one else!!!!!"
Probably one of the most accurate statements ever made.
Or, to quote Jim Morrison...
You cannot petition the Lord with prayer!!